Young Ladies Christian Fellowship

The Daily Dance of Joy

By Gretchen | Published: March 2, 2010

Are you dancing through life choosing the joy of the Lord with every step? Or have the days become a drudgery of discontent?

Whether you are already focusing on choosing joy or know you have a lot to learn about the practice of joyfulness, you’ll want to read Sally Clarkson’s new book. (Keep reading to find out how you can win a copy!)

Dancing with My Father: How God Leads Us into a Life of Grace and Joy is not just an uplifting, encouraging read. It’s like each chapter is a chat over a cup of tea with the author herself. Reading Mrs. Clarkson’s book makes me feel like I’ve gotten to know this dear lady, seen her heart and felt her hugs. Hearing through the pages of Dancing with My Father about how she chose joy in her daily life and struggles inspired me to choose “a different heart”, a heart of joy. And it brought home the point that it’s not something that just happens—I must choose joy. Each and every day.

Clearly joy is an issue of the heart. Joy is not found in performing for people or in doing all the right things for God. Nor is joy in the absence of difficulties or problems. Joy is found in the presence of God in the midst of all circumstances, in delighting in the life he has given. (Dancing with My Father, pg. 38ff)

Mrs. Clarkson, as a mother of four, knows that joy doesn’t just naturally bubble up in every day of a mom’s life. She knows the loneliness and discouragement that can come to a stay-at-home mom. She knows the pain of watching a friend suffer. She knows the heartbreak of losing a baby. She knows the feeling that “life will be good when”—when I get married, when I have children, when my children are out of diapers, etc. She knows that one can begin to feel empty when each of those milestones arrived without the hoped-for fulfillment and joy.

She has learned that joy and thankfulness do not come with a certain age or experience: they can only come out of the daily choice to be joyful and thankful.

The key to enjoying God in every moment of these daily pleasures is to open the eyes of my mind to see and to appreciate what he has given. A thankful heart galvanizes the connection between my God and me. (pg. 92)

Making a choice to resist stewing and fretting over all the issues of my day gives me the ability to delight in each moment as a gift. My responsibilities have not changed, but my relationship to my responsibilities has. (pg. 177)

As a young mom who can all too easily stay focused on the exhaustion of my never-ending, never-finished tasks, this book was not so much a breath of fresh air as a timely prick to my heart and conscience. Am I seeing Him in the little things He has placed in my life—or am I too busy and overwhelmed to notice, let alone thank Him? Am I using those 3 a.m. feedings to thank Him for my little one—or to dream of going back to sleep? Is it evident to all who meet me that I have an inner wellspring of joy of my life—or am I rushed and stressed and anything but a picture of perfect peace and joy?

Mrs. Clarkson comes alongside the young mom, the stressed businesswoman, the tired missionary and gently reminds us of the only way we can keep the spring of joy in our steps as we dance through life: by choosing joy, choosing to live each moment in step with the Joy Giver, Jesus Christ our Lord.

If I want to grow a heart of joy, then I must plant the words of God and his truth. I must feed joy daily to ensure that it becomes a healthy fruit of my heart. I must be vigilant to pick and demolish the weeds of doubt, despair, sin, complain, and selfishness which threaten to overcome this joy. A hedge of protection should be in place so that nothing comes in to destroy the very place that God designed for me to cultivate faith, truth, beauty, and joy. (pg. 190-191)

And the sweet picture on the cover of a little girl dancing? To me it represents the hope that my generation’s loss of joyful innocence can be restored: not into blissful ignorance, but into delightful dependence on God.

He can turn our mourning into dancing. He is waiting to lead us by the hand, every step of the way. It’s a daily choice. But the burdens are lighter when Dancing with My Father.

Official YLCF Giveaway Entry Rules:

To enter the drawing for a copy of Dancing with My Father, please comment and tell us:
What is one of the “weeds” that robs joy from the garden of your heart?
What do you do each day to feed the joy in your heart?
What have you set as a hedge of protection around your heart to guard from doubt and despair?
Don’t forget to include your name and email address in the space provided on the comment form (your email address will not be published, but we need a way to contact you if you win!).
This drawing open to readers with U.S. mailing addresses only, please.
YLCF Team Members, their families, and recent YLCF giveaway winners ineligible for entry.
Drawing ends at midnight, Tuesday, March 9, 2010.
Winner will be chosen randomly, notified by email, and announced in this post.
Thanks to the WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for providing this book for review and giveaway.
Congratulations to Megan for winning a copy of Dancing with My Father!

Posted in Books, Contentment, Grow | Tagged marchofbooks | 31 Comments

What are you reading?

By Gretchen | Published: March 1, 2010

Tell me what you read and I’ll tell you who you are is true enough, but I’d know you better if you told me what you reread.
-François Mauriac

The month of March is here. And we here at ylcf.org are celebrating March with a March of Books!

I’m celebrating, too, because our remodel is nearly finished, and we are moved into our bedrooms now. Which means my husband and I can turn in to bed and turn on the bedside lamps. It’s so fun to be able to read awhile together—perusing our own separate titles, reading aloud, or looking over the other’s shoulder—without keeping the girls awake!

I just finished reading Mother-Daughter Duet and Dancing with My Father (both of which you’ll have a chance to win this week). Then I got Creative Correction from the library, and Don’t Make Me Count to Three back from a friend I’d loaned it to. But last night I was too tired for parenting how-to’s, so I picked up a precious little book called A Promise Kept.

What are you reading today?

If we encounter a man of rare intellect, we should ask him what books he reads.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Click here for more quotations on books, then head over to Chantel’s blog to hear about how much she loves books. Also, Ashleigh has a book giveaway for military families over at Heart & Home. Come back to ylcf.org tomorrow for the first book giveaway! And remember, when you order books through in-post links and the search boxes at left, you help keep ylcf.org online–thank you for your support!

Posted in Books, Read | Tagged marchofbooks | 16 Comments

Single-Minded, Part Four

By Lanier | Published: February 26, 2010

Here is the final installment in our Single-Minded series–for the present! Thanks to your wonderful outpouring we’ll be resuming it in April, after our jam-packed March of Books. We have many more fabulous ’singleness sketches’ queued up, and I want to take this opportunity to thank everyone of you who has joined in and shared your heart so willingly.

God bless you all. And now, enjoy another candid peek into the lives of some of our faithful sisters in Christ.

from Rachel:

What am I doing with my single life?

I am enjoying it… most days.

When I was 15 or 16 I thought I had my life all planned… I would finish homeschool, work for Daddy on our farm, and “someday” my prince charming would come riding in to sweep me off my feet and carry me away! (Preferably by age 21!) But God had different ideas. Now, at 24, I’m still at home, farming and ranching, but Daddy is in heaven. When he died 7 1/2 years ago, my world got turned upside down.

I have spent this time learning to redefine who I am. I couldn’t define myself by only human standards anymore, I had to be who I am in Christ, and look to Him for guidance and comfort. I’m not just “so-and-so’s” daughter, I’m a child of the King!

I have spent this time learning contentment. However, every time I think I can say, “I have learned in whatsoever state I am…” I am presented with a new way of practicing it.

Yes, there have been plenty of tears in my pillow, or cried in the milk bucket. There has also been opportunity to reach out to others who are hurting as well. What Joy!!!

from Victoria:

My situation is slighty different as my parents are divorced and I am not yet 18. I have been done with highschool for almost a year. Right now, I am spending my time helping my mother in her home. Between my two siblings, three step-siblings and two other girls with disabilities (one with cerebral palsy, the other with downs syndrome) who live currently with us, we usually have eight kids staying in our house. I spend my time helping with cleaning, cooking, and helping with schoolwork. Outside of those duties, I love to spend time reading and learning new things, fellowshipping with friends, and going and helping out wherever else I am needed. I have a wonderful relationship with both of my parents and I go and visit my dad as often as I can as they do not live too far apart. =) I almost took college courses online which would have started this month, but the Lord told me that it was not part of His plan for my life. Now I am learning serve Him better day by day, and waiting to see where He leads. I cannot say how freeing it is to simply rest in Him.

God Bless!

from Jordan:

I was just thinking yesterday how fast my life to date has passed. Watching 6 children ages 1 to 10 will do that to you! It has really made me re-evaluate and realize how much I should be enjoying my current time of life. I’m only 17, so I haven’t had to learn to be content single, but I have struggled with putting my life in God’s hands. This verse in a song by Casting Crowns pretty well sums up my constant prayer:

Here at Your feet I lay my future down.
All of my dreams I give to You now and I find peace!
Here at Your feet I lay my life down
For You, my King, are all I want now and my soul sings!

I am spending my “single years” doing whatever God leads me to do. A couple months ago He gave me the opportunity to drive 9 hours to stay with a friend of a friend who has three boys 5 and under and a baby on the way. I was able to help prepare meals and make a few quilts while I was there.

When I was 13 I started a sewing ministry at my church. It has grown and changed, but it’s still going strong! It has given me a good opportunity to practice being an “older woman” to girls other than my sisters.

Around that time I also started sewing for ladies in our homeschool group, making modest dresses for their daughters. I have grown that into a business over the past 4 years. My vision is to keep the modest clothing that I make high on quality and low on cost since I know many homeschool families live on a single income.

D L Moody said, “It is better to say, ‘This one thing I do’ than to say, ‘These forty things I dabble with’.” The things above are really just things I dabble in. My “one thing”? Abiding in Christ: Living in Him, Learning of Him and Loving through Him.

from Vanessa:

Sometimes I am not sure I even know what it is like to be single – even though I am. My “single” years so far have been filled with so many children, so much activity, and so much love that loneliness has not been a huge issue for me. I have almost always had something to do. Right now I am a private duty nurse for a child. It’s very fulfilling work and I am learning skills I hope to use in the future.

My single years have been filled with extremes. I have had some very unique experiences, such as being a caregiver in an orphanage. That gave me years of parenting experience. Since entering the nursing field, I have dealt with births and deaths and everything in between. I do not fit into any sort of mold. I do not feel like a “sitting duck” – my life has not involved a whole lot of sitting around! My goal is to let the Lord Jesus Christ be the center of my existence. Even though choosing to follow the Lord sometimes brings personal pain, I do not regret the path I have chosen.

from Sarah:

When I was sixteen I thought I was ready! Ready to have a boyfriend, ready to get married very soon, ready to quit attending the churches valentines banquet alone. But my Prince Charming still hadn’t shown up. What was wrong with him? Didn’t he know I was ready?! Now, at the young age of twenty, I look back and laugh at myself. God is using these single years to chip away at some things in my life that He needed to get rid of. And it would be so much more painful were a young man in the mix. Do I want to get married? Yes! Am I ready? No. So, I’m using this time to draw closer to the Lord. I’m using it to be a missionary to my family, to my neighbors. Those things won’t stop when I become a “Mrs.”, but I can devote more energy and time to it now. And I’m actually thankful for this time of singleness. Right now I live with my sister as a “live in nanny”, as we like to call it. It’s very practical training for learning to be mommy, cook, housecleaner, teacher and organizer!

And we’ll close for now with a good word of encouragement. Though not technically a comment on singleness, every one of us can benefit from the joyful perspective of a new bride:

from Regina:

Thank you so much for sharing! How well I remember the days of tears and longings, wondering when (if ever) God would bring a husband and trying my best to trust the Lord and grow close to Him through that time. Now as I look from the other side of the spectrum as a new bride (having married my beloved in September of 2009), I just want to bless each of you for yielding your lives to the Master Potter and allowing Him to shape you in His ways. I was so encouraged as I read how the Lord is using you in His kingdom as you faithfully follow Him! I discovered that learning trust – contentment – patience does not end at the marriage altar. In a way it only becomes more real as the sweetness of marriage unfolds.

God is continuing to work in my life – teaching me to trust Him, find my contentment in Him, rest in His care, and to be patient for His perfect timing. I am so grateful for the foundation that began in my single years.

As you follow the Lord and serve him faithfully in the little things remember that what you are learning now is becoming a foundation for what the Lord will continue to teach you through the coming years, as He unfolds His plan for your life.

Blessings to each one of you – married or single – Let us continue to lay our lives at the feet of the Father and trust Him in every situation we find ourselves in.

If you happened to miss the previous entries in the series, take a look at Single-Minded, Part Two and Single-Minded, Part Three.

Posted in Contentment, Dreams, Singleness, Trust, Wait | Leave a comment

Single-Minded, Part Three

By Lanier | Published: February 24, 2010

It has been so exciting to see the responses come in to our query about how you singles are investing your time. Not to mention tremendously encouraging to get a sampling of all the manifold ways you are pouring your hearts and lives into the Kingdom! Your generosity in sharing has been overwhelming–so much so that my original idea of one post encapsulating a collection of ’snapshots’ has flourished into a whole series in itself.

Part Two gave us a picture of half-a dozen young ladies spending their days lavishly in the love of God, and the stories you’ll find below are no different. I’ll just let them speak for themselves.

And check back on Friday for Part Four!

from Elizabeth:

The answer to “How are you keeping busy?” is that I am living life. I’ve never known anything except singlehood, so it feels fairly normal.

As to what God is teaching me: I often think of the young ladies in Biblical times as being under the protection of their parents and elders. As a missionary, I am not living with my parents, but I still feel under their protection, as well as under the protection of my Heavenly Father.

Recently I was praying about marriage, and I had a vision of standing before a crosswalk with the Lord tightly holding my hand. He would not let me go yet; it was not safe to cross, and He would not let me run into a dangerous situation. I am often aware of how He knows exactly what I need and what I DON’T need at any moment in time.

from Lin:

I am happily waiting for a person who will be easy to chose to love after years and years of marriage. It is so exciting to think about someone who will be just right for me the same way I see my parents and rest of the family married. It is like an unopened present that only gets sweeter and sweeter with time. I can feel in my heart my time is not yet and I rejoice in my free as the wind days! Life is simple, uncomplicated and happy! God has blessed me beyond reason!

from Ginger:

I wonder often when my prince will find me. Is there even a prince in my future? Questions like that will assail my mind at times. But for the most part, I am very happy in my “single” state and I try to leave the matchmaking to the One Who created my story before I was even born.

To answer your question. Yes, the Lord has given me plenty of opportunities while I am single. For one He has given me the gift of teaching and the opportunity to have my own classroom and my own class. I am able to have my full attention in teaching right now while I am still fairly new to the whole teaching thing!

I also am enjoying my single state while I have a six month old brother at home. I enjoy having this time to still be at home and to have this time to be an important part in my brother’s up bringing.

Those are only are a couple of blessings God has given me. There are so many more but I would have to write a novel to list all of them!

from Sarah:

In this time of singleness God has given me an incredible opportunity to continue my education. Occasionally I get wrapped up in waiting for “the one” and feel like I shouldn’t make plans too far into the future in case “Mr. Right” appears, but then I remember that God is not simply in control of my future, but also my present. His plan for me today is education and I need to wait patiently and prayerfully for Him to reveal His plans for my future.

from Kiersti:

While in my younger years I had hoped to be married by my current age of 25, the Lord has given me so many good things in this season of singleness. I am grateful to have the freedom and availability right now to help my family care for my elderly grandmother, whom we live with and who has dementia. I know things would be much harder on my parents and sister without my extra pair of hands. God has also given me jobs I enjoy–working in the Writing Center at my local community college and private tutoring an 8th grade girl in writing and English–as well as other special opportunities, like a writing internship with a small children’s missions magazine and helping with a Christian musical theater group for families that my family helped start this year. While the Lord has not seen fit to fulfill my dream of being a wife and mother yet, He has fulfilled other dreams that I didn’t even expect Him to, like getting to teach dance to children, be involved in musical theater, and even visit Europe when I studied abroad in college. He has also given me precious time with my family that I would have missed were I busy with a family of my own. Most of all, He has shown me how very near and dear He is Himself–though I know I still have so far to go in learning to know and love Him–and how Jesus truly is more than enough, and the only One who can meet our deepest needs and desires. These lessons have come through much heartache, but they are worth it. There are still days when singleness is very hard, as one by one my friends get engaged and married and no young man seems to show interest in me. But I can see more and more that the Lord’s plan is best. Thank you to all you girls who have shared…it is a blessing to see how He is blessing and using each of you right where He has placed you. May He bless you, and all you readers, each one.

from Abigail:

When I was younger it seemed like I had two possibilities ahead of me: marrying young or “surviving” a period of singleness. I have been pleasantly surprised to find myself in the midst of a third option: actually enjoying singleness! There are times, certainly, as Elisabeth mentioned, when those little glimpses of married life make my heart ache. There are days when I need to make a list of “Benefits I am Receiving From This Season.” But much of the time I am content and very happy. Recently I was surprised to hear myself say, “Thank You, Lord, that I’m not married yet!” I credit this to God’s grace in helping me to enjoy this unique time. For me, the more involved I get in ministry and the more I realize the many needs that surround me, the easier it is to stay focused on using this time well. If I think “How long will I have to wait until I can get married?” the wait can seem daunting, but if I think, “How much longer will I have to be this free and flexible for serving the Lord?” I feel like time is running short!

from Megan:

I’m going to Moody Bible Institute as a Women’s Ministry major starting next fall. I would love to end up working with young ladies in their teens and twenties, so one way that I see my single years is as time to gain experiences so that I can relate to girls who go through the same things. I’ve got some wonderful women who give me wisdom right now, so I’m taking notes! This includes the realization- through disequilibration and experiences, not just concepts- that God really is the Lover of my soul and the only constant, certain hope that I have.

Posted in Contentment, Dreams, Singleness, Trust | 3 Comments

The March of Books

By Gretchen | Published: February 22, 2010

Have you read any good books lately? If not, you’d better hit the local library or visit Paperback Swap, or because we’re planning a “March of Books” for the month of March. Not only do we have at least a half dozen book reviews and two double book giveaways coming here on ylcf.org, but we’re planning a book review blog carnival as well. If you need suggestions for a new read, check out our book review archives—there’s no reason you can’t give us your spin on a YLCF team favorite!

Be prepared to post a review on your blog of your favorite book, for our March of Books Blog Carnival. And if you’re planning to participate, add a link to your blog to help spread the word by copying the code below!

<a href="http://ylcf.org" target="_blank"><img src="http://ylcf.org/uploaded_images/march-of-books.jpg" border="0" alt="YLCF March of Books Blog Carnival"></a>

Posted in Books, Read | Tagged marchofbooks | 9 Comments