It was Sunday afternoon, I'd just finished the last of the pizza. A nap sounded good. I crashed on the couch and clicked on the television. An old sci-fi rerun was playing. I began to doze.. .ZZZZZzzzzzzzz
Captain's Log, Stardate 13978:
These are the voyages of the Starship Home Enterprise.
Boldly going...well, you know-
"WhooooooEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo..."
Captain's Log, Supplemental: As Time, that inexplicable force which sweeps all along on its path, marches ever forward, I ponder the future. This is the question that confronts me: As a home-school graduate, will I home school my kids, and why? More information is necessary to compile my treatise on this difficult subject.
I signed off and hooked myself up to the ship's intravenous espresso machine. As I enjoyed a double, caramel mocha I began to think. "If I home school my kids, I will be attempting to provide them with a relatively similar education to what I received." My close friend and associate, Mr. Spot, had just entered the room. "What's your analysis on this?" I asked him.
Before Mr. Spot had a chance to wag his tail, the computer interrupted with its annoyingly nasal simulated voice.
Captain, you currently have no children, nor are you married.
"Thank you, computer," I said with a snarl. "Now would you please count the licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop WITHOUT removing the wrapper! Bye now."
"You were saying, Mr. Spot?" Spot's idea was sound. We needed to discover the motivation behind my parents' choice to home school me. It was time for a little time travel.
"Destination: Fort Worth, Texas. Year: 1976. Reverse Time Warp 8, ENGAGE!"
It was a typically humid day in Ft. Worth as I stood in a booth outside K-Mart thumbing through a phone book. "Found it: Jim and Jeanie Garden, 4203 Byers Ave."
My Time Warp calculations had been correct. I dropped in the exact day my father proposed the idea of home education to my mother. We arrived at the address just in time to see a tall, dark-haired man who was fanning a young woman lying down on the sidewalk.
"Jeanie, it won't be that had!" he was saying. "Our kids will be different, sure, but that's the whole idea, right? I mean, we will be able to teach them the three R's plus integrate spiritual training at the same time."
My father helped my mom off the sidewalk and into the house. I decided against talking to them. Hearing this conversation told me enough. My parents had seen the risks and had even been slightly apprehensive, but had gone ahead with home schooling anyway.
As I walked back to the Time Warp Location, I knew that visiting my past had been a helpful journey. I saw now that the implications of home schooling were much greater in the days when Non-Homies ruled the earth. My parents made the decision with little or no outside influence or encouragement to provide me with a Christian education through the ultimate sacrifice of time and involvement. Wow! The courage of the early pioneer Homies should inspire us all. "Beam me up, Spotty!"
I was back in the control room now. "The next task is to determine what effects home schooling has had on me," I said.
The computer piped in. Exact licks: 4,578. Will there be anything else, Captain? Exasperated I decided to put the computer to useful service. "You do personality assessment scans, don't you?" I asked.
Yes, Sir.
"Okay, assess the effects that home schooling has had on my life." After a lengthy battery of tests (12 volt, to be exact), I received a huge printout. I asked the computer to give me the key information.
First, you show a great capacity for relating to age groups other than your own.
"Interesting. So it was beneficial to not spend all my time with a particular age group. I'm sure I want the same experience for my kids."
Next, your parents' training plus experiences of mission trips and other unexpected deviations during academic years have caused you to grow spiritually and mentally.
"Way to go. Mom and Dad!" I shouted. The benefits of home schooling were beginning to crystallize.
But the computer wasn't finished yet. You also show a distinct affinity for chocolate, piano music, Aggie jokes, home-school magazines, and a tendency to act like a three-year old after 1 a.m., you also...
"THANK YOU, computer," I interrupted before it shared anything more damaging. "That will be all! Do me a favor and figure out the meaning of life, okay?"
Yes, Sir.
"The decision to home school is still not easy, Spot!" I began. "Although great strides have been made, I've learned that the trials and questions that faced my parents are still relevant. What will my friends think? Oh, wait...a lot of my friends are home schooled, too. But what will my family think? Oh, yeah...I guess they're pretty supportive now, aren't they! But there's still this question: Do I want my kids to be like me?"
Sir, that prospect is decidedly not appeal...
"ENOUGH! No comments from the peanut gallery, please!" I began again. "I've seen the benefits of home schooling in my own life, and current societal trends can only point to one conclusion: I hereby resolve to home school my children!"
Sir, you currently have no children, nor are you...
"THANK YOU, COMPUTER! Continue your present assignment! Now as I was saying: (theme music begins) The principles imparted to me by my parents are of more worth to me than a whole spaceship full of chocolate! I purpose to impart them to my kids utilizing the vast expanse of home-school resources. I also understand that circumstances may prevent some from home schooling, but they are entitled to that decision. I know that there will always be Non-Homies with whom we can peacefully co-exist. We CAN co-exist, and I believe that working together we can..."
Sir?
"Now what?!"
I have reached two different conclusions: A game by Parker Brothers, or 2) Mikey's favorite cereal.
"Spot, call Radio Shack and see what we can get on a computer trade-in!"
WHAT ABOUT YOU? Are you planning to home school your own kids someday? Turn to page 29 and share your opinion in Interaction.