Real Life Love Stories

ohnny and Susie sitting in a tree. . .c-o-u-r-t-i-n-g. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the book.

Maybe it doesn’t rhyme, but it is happening. People are courting and sharing their stories with others. The discussion about the biblical alternative to dating (often called “courtship”) has moved from the theoretical stage to the real-life stage. And none too soon.

As the buzz over “courtship” increases among parents, the skepticism of many kids intensifies. Courtship looks good on paper, but there are just too many unanswered questions.

Does it really work for relationships in the ‘90’s? Or is it an impersonal, cut-and-dried process more suited for the horse and buggy days of “Little House on the Prairie?”

I don’t know the answers to all of these questions. My parents didn’t court. I haven’t courted. No one in my family has.

That’s where two new books by couples who have courted come in. Of Knights and Fair Maidens by Jeff & Danielle Myers and His Perfect Faithfulness by Eric & Leslie Ludy provide a fresh perspective on the whole concept of “courtship. “ They also prove that it’s never too late to try a better way of building relationships with members of the opposite sex.

The books clearly show that different people will have different experiences. Although the way one couple meets, falls in love, and gets married will never be the same as that of another couple, the stories provide biblical principles from which anyone can benefit. For the person who’s committed to courtship, these books will be a real boost. And for the person who’s i skeptical, the titles will ~ F provide a much clearer picture of what courtship is all about.

This book is as fun to read as it sounds. It starts out by asking, “Whatever happened to the good old days of knights and fair maidens?” Jeff and Danielle Meyers, the authors, have a writing style that draws you into the book, so that you can scarcely put it down.

Most of the book is written in a question and answer format, closely resembling an interview. Jeff and Danielle start by defining courtship as a relationship between a guy and a girl that leads to marriage. Then they elaborate on how they first heard about courtship and what their initial thoughts were, as they had both been involved in dating.

One of the main points Jeff and Danielle make is that Christian guys and girls should consider members of the opposite sex as brothers and sisters in Christ. They also stress the fact that you can’t rely on emotions to tell you if you’re in love.

The Meyers base their book upon three themes: accountability, character, and principles.

Accountability to each other’s families, specifically to fathers, is the first main issue in Of Knights and Fair Maidens. When Jeff and Danielle’s families were not around, being accountable to someone else, preferably an older, Godly mentor was extremely helpful for them. Both had mentors who gave them much wise counsel when they needed it.

As they share in their book, it is also important to see each other’s character in the full light with “no masks.” Jeff and Danielle accomplished this by participating in group activities, developing ministry opportunities, and observing each other in family settings. As a result, they developed a respect for each other that was a strong foundation for their future marriage.

The Meyers effectively make the suggestion that you should not seek courtship opportunities until you are prepared for marriage. For example, Jeff committed to the Lord that he would not pursue marriage until his career was well established. When his career was off and running, he found that he would be able to support a family if that opportunity presented itself.

Jeff and Danielle seem to answer just about all the questions you might have about courtship. They freely discuss their courtship and marriage, talking about things they wish they would have done differently, and things that really worked for them.

The couple wrote this book as newly-weds, having been married for only two years. In their own words, “It’s been fantastic! We have avoided so many pitfalls that usually trap young married couples.”

Lists are another great feature in the book. Jeff and Danielle put together one set of lists for guys, and one set of lists for girls. These lists give lots of ways to prepare yourself for courtship and marriage.

His Perfect Faithfulness is a great little booklet that was obviously written by two people who are very much in love.

Those two people, Eric and Leslie Ludy, write in a animated style, as they trade off chapters—one chapter written by Eric, then one by Leslie.

As you read this book, you get the distinct feeling that you’re an unseen observer, watching a true friendship blossom into love.

The book begins with an account of Eric and Leslie’s wedding day. Then they trace back to before they met.

Eric starts out by expressing how he felt before he met Leslie. He tells about how he prayed for his future wife, as he was sure that God had chosen someone special for him, and that he needed only to find her.

Then Leslie begins, talking freely of her emotional struggles during this same period in her life. Leslie tells how she thought that she had everything that a 15-year-old girl could ask for. She had seemingly endless numbers of friends, plenty of dates, and increasing popularity. Yet she had a feeling of emptiness that she couldn’t shake off. She felt that there should be more to her life than dating, popularity, dances, and parties. She was beginning to feel as if she was chasing after foolish dreams.

“I was stunned by the emptiness of it all and sickened by the realization that I had been completely wasting my life on such pettiness. . .the most important issues in life were which boy liked what girl, which friend is in a fight with whom, and how the football team played last Friday night,” Leslie said.

As the book continues, the couple shares the details of how they met, and how they felt throughout their experience. An interesting factor in their relationship was their age difference. At the time they met, Leslie was a day shy of sixteen, and Eric was twenty. In Eric’s mind, there was too great an age difference to even con-template a serious relationship. So instead, they developed a wonderful friendship, because they had so many things in common.

During their friendship, Leslie became aware that Eric and his brother Mark were much more interested in their walk with the Lord than in dating. Leslie expresses in His Perfect Faithfulness that she was fascinated with Eric’s attitude towards this part of his life. She desperately wanted to have a more committed walk with the Lord and a deeper purpose to her life, as Eric did.

After much prayer thought, and consideration—not to mention the influence Eric had on her life, Leslie decided that to pursue the godliness and purity she wanted for her life, she had to give up dating. She also made the decision to finish up her last few years of high school at home. These crucial decisions helped Leslie to become “totally surrendered to God.”

As all these changes took place in Leslie’s life, she found comfort in her friendship with Eric. Soon this friendship took a more serious turn, as both Eric and Leslie realized that their relationship was most probably of God, and for a purpose.

The couple goes on to tell about how they eventually decided to court, the role their families played in their courtship, and how they prepared themselves for marriage. They freely discuss some of the awkward feelings they had as they went through a period between friendship and love.

The book ends with a more detailed account of Eric and Leslie’s wedding. Following the last chapter, Eric and Leslie have included four useful sections: After Thoughts, Guy Talk, Girl Talk, and Straight Talk. These sections deal with some of the questions guys and girls have had about Eric and Leslie’s story, and some ‘straight talk’ about dating, courtship and having a personal relation-ship with God.

The release of these books is an exciting signal that serious change is taking place in people’s attitudes towards relationships. Both books will be valuable resources for people attempting to share the principles of courtship with others.

These two titles are a welcome addition to the ongoing discussion about godly relationships. They inject a strong dose of common sense and a welcome reminder that courtship can be wildly romantic.

Both couples are also available to speak at Christian schools, churches and home-school conventions. Jeff Myers is a sought after speaker on Christian leadership and worldview training. In addition to speaking, the Ludys also minister through their music. For information on scheduling, you may write them separately at the following addresses:

Title
Format of Book	Simulates an inter-view with Jeff and Danielle.	Reads like a novel. Eric and Leslie alternate chapters.
Number Of Pages	98	102
The Big Moment	“Danielle came and sat next to me on the piano bench. I said, ‘Let’s make it official. Will you marry me?’ She said, ‘Yes!”	“The room had been transformed. Lights had been dimmed, candles lit, and flowers placed around creating a dream-like atmosphere. And there stood Eric with a handful of roses and a little white box. I knew the moment I had always dreamed of had finally arrived.”
Most Memorable Line	“Love is not a feeling, it’s an act of the will.”	“I learned firsthand that God’s way is the only way to experience pure romance.”
Most Embarrassing Moment	Danielle’s bike wipe-out	Eric crying in the car
How He Asked Her	Jeff wrote a song, sang it to her, and then proposed.	Eric washed her feet and proposed through a poem.
First Kiss	When they became engaged	On their wedding day
His Age on Wedding	28	24
Her Age	22	18
Length of Courtship	10 months	2 years
Length of Engagement	4 months	1 year

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