Josh Carden in...

"RELATING TO NON-HOMIES"

When New Attitude asked me to write an article about how home schoolers relate to non-home schoolers, I thought through a few ideas and then decided to sleep on it...ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz...

Captain's Log, Stardate 120974:
This is the voyage of the Starship Home Enterprise. Our mission: to boldly go where no man has gone before: the Outer World of Non-Homeschooling.

"WhooooooooEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOooooooo…" (Theme Music)

Captain's Log, Supplement:
Previous data leads us to believe that all Non-Home Schoolers-nicknamed "Non-Homies"-are a primitive, uneducated, heathen bunch of rebels. More data needed. This ship has been sent to gather that data. This mission must not fail.

As I signed off, I turned to closest friend and associate, Mr. Spot. "Spot, give me the coordinates of our first destination. And quit wagging your tail." Our first destination was a public high school. I prepared the necessary protective gear to insulate myself from the deadly "Non-homie" radiation, reputed to be the deadliest known to man. I've heard that a week's exposure to the stuff can reduce one to a navel-piercing, gun-toting, mohawk-wearing, coke-snorting, teacher-beating scumbag, and a partridge IN A P-E-A-R---T-R-E-E-E...Sorry, I'm still glowing with the Christmas spirit.

I approached the public school with extreme care. But what's this? I see students—quite normal looking—with bowed heads, holding hands around a flagpole. Of course, this is probably a trick to lure unsuspecting strangers into their clutches. "Monitor me, Spot; I'm moving in close."

Using my ultra-sensitive sound gear, I was able to pick up some words and phrases from the students who were speaking. The ship's computer reported back: They are praying.

"Yeah right! Whatever! Computer, have you gotten your overbyte looked at lately? Retransmit data."

However, I received the same report: They are still praying.

I moved inside the building without attracting anyone's attention. I saw many different kinds of people. There were those who fit my stereotypical idea of a Non-homie, but there were also many who would have even fit into my world. I overheard many conversations, even some that were religious in nature. It is true that I couldn't see any outward displays of religion on the school itself, but some of the kids were obviously Christian by their attitudes, their words, and their actions. I even heard mention of a Bible study to be held after school! All in all, this was far different than what I had expected. I would not have believed that there were any Non-homies who were like me, but now I had evidence to the contrary. Back to the Home Enterprise! "Beam me up, Spotty!"

Back on the ship I paced back and forth. "This new information requires me to completely re-evaluate what I know about the Non-homies. There must be some explaination.

I thought and thought and finally reached a conclusion (trumpet fanfare). "Of course!" My view of Non-homies has been, to this point, built entirely on a stereotype. Just as we Homies have often been viewed as strange and backward for doing things a little differently, so have we viewed the Non-homies for doing things 'normally'." What a revelation!! "This means that there is hope!" (Theme music) "Hope for a world where Homies and Non-homies can actually communicate with one another. Hope for a breakdown of the stereotypes that have hindered our fellowships for so long. Hope for a sentence that will end this cheesy statement..."

Spot broke into my proclamation: "Sir, we are approaching an asteroid field!" BOOOOOM! "The ship's being battered." BOOOOOOM! "I'm givin' herrr all she's got, Captain. I doon't think she c'n take much morrre!" BOOOOOOM! "NOOOOooooo..."

I awoke to find my brother pounding me with his pillow. "Josh, what were you dreaming? You've been spouting stuff about 'Spot' and 'Homies.' What are you talking about?"

"Jason," I said, "I've decided that stereotyping our fellow human beings damages not only chances for ministry but also the ability to communicate with those who are not exactly like us. The consequences of this stererotypicalization causes us to be isolated and useless when we attempt to interact with the world."

He looked at me and replied, "That's the last time I let you order anchovies on the pizza."