Dear Prof. Know,

If you were on a desert island with no food and no water, and a bag of very salty corn chips floated in to shore, would you eat them?

Sarah Banks—Freedom, PA

That is a ridiculous question. Professor Know’s 1st rule of survival is “Never become stranded on a desert island without food, water, a VCR and a year’s supply of toilet paper.” Now if for some reason I did not have these necessary items, I would without hesita­tion eat the salty corn chips. I’ve spent years researching this dilemma and have come to the conclusion that it is bet­ter to die thirsty with a full stomach than to die hungry with a bag of salty corn chips sitting next to you. Can you imagine the inscription on your gravestone? “He died with a bag of salty corn chips next to him.” How unimaginably horrible.

Dear Prof. Know,

I am hoping to go into politics as soon as I gradu­ate from law school. Is there anything that I don’t know that I should know?

Barry Norton—Longwood, Ml

Well, first of all, you don’t want to know what you don’t know, in politics it’s what you know that gets you in trouble. Second, stay away from water. It is nothing but heartache. I don’t care if it’s near a gate, what color it is, white or other­wise. I also find it helpful to remember the root words of “politicis”: poli= many, tics=bloodsuckers. Good luck!

Dear Prof. Know,

What’s the difference between a good dentist and a bad one?

Amy Kendall—Mt. Nebo, PA

I’ve had a brush with more than one dentist, and I don’t like the ones whose conversa­tion is numbing. Another good indicator: if you take a bite out of a dentist’s finger, you’ll find the good dentists are more filling.

Dear Prof. Know,

In what language does English have the most roots? Latin? Greek? French?

Moto Wheeler—North Tip, NJ

As you know, English is one of the ancestors of American, the language we speak here in the U.S. I have met people who speak English, and it is quite interesting. If you are as expe­rienced as I in languages, you will notice the subtle similari­ties between the two.

As far as root words from the languages you list, it’s a tough call. Latin gave us such gems as enchilada, taco, and burrito supreme; Greek contributed gyros and Super gyros. In the final analysis, I would have to guess the French would win with notable contributions like French fries, French dressing, French bread, etc. The food court at your local mall is a great place to explore our lan­guage so rich in heritage.

Thank you,

Professor Know!