July 24, 1999

You Ate What? 

by Joshua Carden

One of the blessings of home schooling (at least for me) was the flexible schedule that allowed me to see much more of the world (geographically speaking) than I might have otherwise.  At my current age of 24, God has allowed me to visit 15 foreign countries, including every continent except Australia and Antarctica.  Obviously, some of this took place after I graduated, but I discovered my love for international travel fairly early in life.  One of the more unique aspects of international travel is getting to sample the local cuisine.  Believe it or not, there are some countries out there that don’t have a pizza delivery service.   Please try to restrain your shock.  As a matter of fact, the food in some countries will make you get down on your knees and thank the Lord for even the greasiest fast food place here in the good ol’ U.S. of A.  Now fortunately, I’m not a picky eater.  This has served me in good stead, especially in those countries where rejecting the local food can be a personal affront and lead to public floggings.  I’m kidding, that’s reserved for graffiti sprayers.  However, they DO get really offended if you turn up your nose at their food.  The best example that I can give is Korea.  I’ve been there twice, 1994 and 1996.  For the record, the Korean Christians that hosted my singing group from Dallas Baptist University were possibly the best hosts I have encountered anywhere.  They found out that we liked Dr. Pepper (not readily available over there) and had several cases flown in for our trip!  They also took great care that we were properly exposed to local culture and foods as well.  Since I am willing to try most anything, I was a popular guy to sit next to.  Those of my group with weaker stomachs were perfectly willing to scrape something onto my plate when no one was looking.  Fortunately, God also gifted me with hollow legs.  Now, for those of you who may not have sampled Oriental food in its natural habitat, let me describe some actual Korean dishes:

Kimshi – a cabbage dish, with many hot spices added, buried in the ground for several days until it ferments, dug up and served.  One of my personal favorites.  Really.

Pulgogi – The nearest thing to fajitas I found in the East.  You sit on the floor, around a table with a built-in cooker and cook your own meat, fish, squid, whatever, and then roll it up in a lettuce leaf.  No tortillas.  Sigh. I also loved this meal, except my legs are so long I kept burning my knees on the grill in the center of the table.  Koreans don’t often have that problem.

Sushi – Not bad, if you happen to like raw fish.

Poshun-Tong – A traditional dish eaten on the hottest days of the year.  DISCLAIMER: ANY DOGS IN THE ROOM WOULD BE WELL ADVISED TO LEAVE FOR THE NEXT COUPLE OF SENTENCES.    Yes, it was dog.  I comforted myself with the thought that Lassie and Rin-tin-tin were safe in a land far away.  Maybe it was a bad dog.  I’d like to think so.

Those Little Round Things – I don’t remember what they’re called, but they have raw salmon and rice in a little patty, wrapped around the outside with electrician’s tape.  They tried to tell me it was seaweed, but I know it was electrician’s tape. 

Squid jerky – I still have whiplash from trying to bite a piece of this stuff.  “Never eat something that once starred in a horror movie” is my new culinary motto.  If I hadn’t seen the tentacles, I would have thought it was a piece of canvas that they were trying to get the crazy American to eat.

Noodle Soup – with seaweed and stuff mixed in.  The only tough part was eating it with chopsticks.  Try it with mom’s chicken noodle soup sometime.  Harder than it looks, believe me.

Fried Silkworm-on-a-stick – The ultimate.  On the weirdness scale, nothing has come close to Fried Silkworms for me.  Were it not for the desire to not offend our wonderful hosts, I don’t think I could have gotten it down.  From now on, whoever tries to convince me that all foreign foods taste like chicken is going to get an earful.  You know the old nursery rhyme: “Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I’m going to go eat worms”?  Don’t do it.  It’s just not worth it.  I’ll never say “let’s get some grub” again!

I believe that missionaries have a saying that goes something like “Where He leads me, I will go; and what He sets before me, I will eat.”  God extended us grace and none of us got sick from eating anything Korean.  In fact, the only time anyone DID get sick was when we visited the local Kentucky Fried Chicken.  Go figure.  I’m just glad that there’s no truth to the old saying “you are what you eat.”  Woof….Er, um, excuse me, Have a nice day.