July 25, 1999

The Taste of Soap

by Joshua Carden

One of the things that I appreciate the most about having been home schooled is the screening process my parents used to protect my innocence when I was growing up.  They wanted me to be shocked by the sin in the world, not so used to it that I simply tolerated its existence. Later, as my faith matured, I was given more exposure to the world, proportional to the level of maturity I had reached.  Of course, as every parent will tell you, 100% protection is just not possible.  Let me illustrate.   I was about eight years old before I saw a PG-rated movie.  My pastor at the time highly recommended this great family movie to my parents and encouraged them to take me along.  Confident in his recommendation, my parents took me without having previewed the movie first.  The movie was entitled The Man From Snowy River.  Now, before I get hate mail, let me say that I loved this movie.  Often I would imagine myself leaping my magnificent horse off the nearest cliff, plunging down, herding other horses, cracking my bullwhip all the while.  Then reality struck: I had a four-foot Shetland pony that was 187 years old and moved at the incredible rate of 3 feet per minute.  Plus, growing up in eastern West Texas, if you think I had ever SEEN a cliff before I was eighteen, think again. Anyway, after seeing the movie, I remember my parents discussing the fact that maybe they should have waited before taking me to see it. Their mistake was not telling me why. I was a studious lad, eager to expand my horizons, including my vocabulary; and if you’ve seen the movie, you know that there is a substantial amount of language that is, how shall I say it, not exactly God-glorifying?

That’s the key to this story.  Growing up, I lived near the home of Jim and Fay Sammons.  If you have any connections to Bill Gothard at all, you should recognize Jim as the great storyteller who does the financial portions of the Advanced Seminars.  I was too young to be impressed at the time; I just knew that Jim and Fay were the parents of my two friends Cindy and Scotty.   The night after the movie, I stayed over at the Sammons’ home. Cindy, Scotty, my brother Jason, and I were playing “Cops and Robbers.”  This was the version where we were all cops and the robber, sadly out-manned, out gunned, and out-classed, was invisible.  After the “robber” had stolen the payroll, I began to refer to the robber using some of the new vocabulary words I had picked up the previous evening.  In context too, I might add.  Well, Cindy and Scotty were a little older than I, and their eyes went the size of dinner plates as they both yelled “MOOOOOOMMMMM, GUESS WHAT JOSH JUST SAID?!?!”  Mrs. Sammons came bustling in and asked me to repeat what I had just said.  I was a little taken aback by the first reaction, nevertheless I repeated what I had said.  Well, HER eyes went the size of dinner plates and she asked my where I had heard those words.  I innocently replied “At a movie my parents took me to last night.”  Next thing I know, she’s talking to my mom on the phone (whose eyes probably went the size of dinner plates too), my parents are coming to get me, and I’m not entirely sure what’s going on. 

After a firm but kind lecture from my father, I realized that I needed to be a little pickier on what words I chose to add to my vocabulary.  Trust me when I say that this event left an indelible impression on me that has stayed with me for the last sixteen years!  I mean it’s not even a problem.  No sir, I have not struggled with it since…HEY BUSTER! WATCH WHERE YOU’RE SWINGING THAT, YOU…just kidding.