August 24, 2001

Sod-Buster

by Joshua Carden

Growing up, my brother Jason and I did not watch a great deal of TV.  I’m sure there are a few families who can identify with this.  BUT we did watch some television on Saturday afternoons, because on Saturday afternoons the great genre of television took over.  I am of course referring to: Westerns.  Yes, we were fans of the Lone Ranger, Matt Dillon, and the Cartwright family.  However, my personal favorite was Lucas McCain, a.k.a. “The Rifleman.”  In fact, I used to shoot my B.B. gun from the hip in my constant struggle against the evil soup can on yon fence post.  Eventually, the laws of statistics would take over, and I would hit it – causing good to once again triumph.  Of course, it was never guaranteed that good would triumph before I exhausted an entire box of B.B.’s but that’s neither here nor there.  Anyway, in “The Rifleman” (yes, this eventually does have a point) McCain was frequently referred to as a “sod-buster” (that was the point).  My brother Jason and I were never entirely sure what that term meant.  We opined that it probably meant “farmer” or something along those lines, but we just never knew.  Well, last Saturday, I found out.

Being a law student (translated: “poor”), I occasionally look for outside sources of cash.  Being morally opposed to drug-running and bank-robbing, I look for more legitimate ways to buy books and put food in the pantry (BRIEF RABBIT TRAIL: Last week, I was blessed to find one of my law textbooks at a public library sale.  Bookstore price: $80.  Library Sale price: $1.  God is Good!) 

Well, last week, my roommate invited me to go “lay sod” with a friend of his who would pay us.  I readily agreed and Saturday was set as the target date.  At 7:30 a.m. Saturday morning, I was awakened by a loud clap of thunder and the realization that it had been raining for quite some time.  My roommate called his friend who said “Well, the sod truck is still coming at 8:30 a.m.  See you there.”  We put on work clothes (translated: “the oldest clothing we owned.”) and set out. 

We were working for this lawyer who had just built a very nice house with a large backyard in the Virginia Beach area.  (Author’s Note: I am looking forward to the day when I will be on THAT side of this equation.)  If you’ve ever built a house, you know that your yard (translated: “all the grass”) virtually disappears during the process.  This was no exception.  As the rain kept pouring down, we began the sod-laying process.  The forklift unloaded 20 (translated: “twenty”) pallets of rolled sod.  We began slogging our way through the ex-yard and unrolling these small patches of beautiful grass.  It was like putting together a very large, wet, and muddy jigsaw puzzle. The rolls started out weighing about 25 pounds.  By lunch time (still raining) the rolls had nearly doubled in weight.  So had our clothes from the mud that was caked on them.  By 3 p.m. (translated: “post meridian), you could have scraped enough mud off of me to supply a dozen three-year-olds entering a mud-pie making contest.  In fact, when I rinsed off in our shower-tub, I created a little archipelago (translated: “bunch o’ itty-bitty islands”) from the dirt on my body alone. 

Watching “The Rifleman” in 30 minute episodes, you never really got a sense of what being a sod-buster was all about.  Now, with a little more information to go on, I have officially decided NOT to become a sod-buster when I grow up.  I mean, yeah, the hip-shooting rifle part was cool, but I’ve now realized that Lucas McCain shot from the hip because his arms were too sore to raise the gun all the way to his shoulder!  I know mine were – I had to wait a week before I could type this article!  But I did get to catch The Rifleman on Saturday afternoon while I was recovering.  *sigh*  I need to get a new B.B. gun…