October 5, 1999
The Perfect Homeschooler
by Joshua Carden
Have you ever met the perfect home schooler? Maybe you have, or at least maybe you thought so. Let me introduce myself: I may be the closest thing to the perfect home schooler that you ever meet. Before you call down fire from heaven to punish my arrogance, let me hasten to add that this story takes a pretty drastic turn in the middle. Stick with me.
Paul says in Philippians 3:4-6, If anyone else thinks he has reasons to put confidence in the flesh, I have more: circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; in regard to the law, a Pharisee; as for zeal, persecuting the church; as for legalistic righteousness, faultless.
Paul just listed things that would have placed him awfully high on the spiritual "Who's Who in the Roman Empire" list. Well, like Paul, I've got a list. And believe you me, my list is pretty impressive as well. My parents began looking at home schooling in 1973. I was born in 1974 and began home schooling at age three when I learned to read. My parents introduced Bill Gothard to the concept of home schooling. The character quality material that the Advanced Training Institute used for many years had its origin in my home. My parents traveled around the state of Texas speaking on the topics of home schooling, character, and child discipline. In 1983, my father helped start the Home School Legal Defense Association with Mike Farris and Mike Smith. I was a National Merit Commended Scholar. I went to a private, Christian university where, before graduating with honors, I was named both Homecoming King and received the President's Servant Leadership Award. I've played the piano for over twenty years, a skill that has allowed me to travel to 17 foreign countries, 5 continents, the 1996 Olympic Games in Atlanta, and minister in over 500 concerts and worship times during my four years in college and since then.
Has your stomach turned yet? Hey, Paul, eat your heart out. If you're not impressed with me now, you never will be. The trouble is, somewhere along the way, I became impressed with all that. I began to place my faith in my list: who my family was, the things I had accomplished, the skills that I have - everywhere but where it should have been. God dropped me a few hints about this along the way, like when I was about 12, my best friend at the time told me "Josh, I used to hate your guts because I thought you were perfect and my parents compared me to you all the time. Now that I've seen you screw up a few times, I think you're okay." But for the better part of my young life, I went on trying to convince myself that I could still be perfect. You know what? That's a lot of work and a burden that I was never meant to carry. Let's look at the rest of Paul's passage in Philippians 3.
But whatever was to my profit, I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ "the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith."
"Rubbish." In some translations, "dung." Believe it or not, that's what that list of mine is really worth. In January of 1997, I began to see for the first time what the grace of God has had to overcome in my life. I don't know exactly what event triggered the discovery, but I suspect that it was shortly after I received my first "B" grade in a college English class. It was not a pretty sight. It retrospect, I laugh. To think that I believed that somewhat God would love me less if I didn't appear perfect! From that time forward, God began revealing to me the vileness of my sin and the flaws of my human nature. My petty, perfectionist self. My annoying habits. Yes, I have them just ask my family! You want an example? I don't share food! If you try to take even one French fry from my plate, be prepared to pull back a bloody stump! And that's just one example. Believe me there are plenty of others!
As this process of discovery got started, I began to see myself as God, in His perfect justice and eternal wrath, should see me. I say "should" because that's not how He sees me. As I learned more of who God is, I began to stick my toe into the bottomless pool that is His grace. I learned that He is not wringing His hands when I make a mistake. Instead, He looks at me and sees His righteousness. He sees the blood of His Son, shed for all my mistakes - past, present, and future. So the next time you see someone that may appear to be perfect in every way, remember that we look on the outside. God sees the heart.
