February 29, 2000
Who Wants to be a Millionaire?
by Joshua Carden
I recently received an email from Teresa in West Virginia asking “when is a homeschooler going to debut on Who Wants to be a Millionaire?” I must confess the thought had never really crossed my mind. Those of you who have taken a few moments out of your 12 hour school days (wink, nudge, snicker) to catch a glimpse of Regis “Is that your finahl ansuh?” Philbin know the show I’m referring to. For those who haven’t seen it, it’s much like the old $64,000 Question show (adding in inflation) where contestants are asked a series of questions, each worth twice as much money as the one before it. You can quit and keep your earnings at any time, but if you miss a question on your quest for a million - you go home with nice parting gifts. (“here’s a nice comb to part with.”) Incidentally, has anyone else noticed that Regis has yet to wear a tie that doesn’t blend in with his shirt? And that the two columns and staircases behind Regis look like they were stolen from a giant toothbrush display? These things escaped my notice until friends pointed them out to me. They watch a bit more frequently than I do.
So back to the original question posed: when is a homeschooler going to walk out with a million? As I pondered the idea, a few things came to mind. First, you have to love our chances. I mean, a LOT of the homeschool kids I know are excellent at games like Trivial Pursuit. For my own part, I used to read books of random facts. Unfortunately, some of those facts still circulate in my head, taking up valuable space that could be used to store useful information. For instance, did you know that an ostrich’s eyes weigh more than its brain? Or that a set of triplets born on the day that Israel and Egypt signed their peace accords were named Carter, Begin, and Sadat by their loving parents? That the word “hyperinfracanaphilia” means “excessive love for the underdog”? (really) Am I scaring you yet? The only place that some homeschoolers (including myself) would have trouble on the show would be those questions that are from pop culture. I believe a recent question required a contestant to identify the famous director who directed a particular Michael Jackson video. I knew it wasn’t Frank Lloyd Capra, but that’s about it. I would have definitely been going for a lifeline on that one. Which brings me to another point. Who would you pick for your lifeline? (for those who don’t know, you get three during the show; you can call anyone you’d like to help with the answer for one of them) Think of the pressure! I can just picture someone calling me: “Josh, the million is on the line. Quick: how many different ties has Regis worn on the show: A. 23, B. 147, C. 58, or D. 9? Talk about permanently marring a friendship!
Final point. Sure it would be fun for a homeschooler to be on the show, but would it be worth it? I have noticed over the years that we homeschoolers crave legitimacy. For those who had difficulties with school districts and state officials, and for nearly everyone who got raised eyebrows from family members, your one burning desire was for them to realize that your kids were going to do just as well or better than the rest. This desire for legitimacy also manifests itself during college preparation. I know many families who are upset that their kids have to take extra tests and jump through extra hoops to get in, when kids from public schools are ushered right through the door. I sympathize. Seeing a homeschooler do well on the Millionaire show would definitely add one more jewel in the ol’ “legitimacy crown.” But what if he or she did win and was actually happy about it? I’m sure many of you remember the young girl who won the national spelling bee. In her exuberance she joyfully celebrated her victory, the release of tension, and the well-deserved honor she was about to receive. Yet she was criticized for her enthusiastic celebration. “One of those strange homeschoolers” was the gist of many articles. Unfortunately, having a homeschooler perform well in the spotlight is not an automatic guarantee of more legitimacy. However, there are other ways:
I think of my friend (who shall remain nameless) who several years ago learned everything he could about computers. He wrote programs and sold them, he managed databases – a true technogeek. (I say that with the utmost respect.) More recently he started a company which provided cheap email service to businesses across America and then internationally. And finally, he sold that business last year for $40 million. More or less. He’s 26. Not bad for “one of those homeschoolers.” Now, you don’t have to go out and make a million. However, by displaying a strong work ethic and a dedication to biblical principles, you will establish the legitimacy of homeschooling FAR sooner than one appearance on TV ever could. My friend didn’t sit on his knowledge and wait for the Millionaire phone to ring; he used his God-given knowledge and talents to earn the money he made. Regis Philbin, eat your heart out. Who NEEDS to be a millionaire?