by Joshua Carden
January 25, 2000
Okay, I’ve had enough people ask me what my law school experience has been like. I guess I’ll just have to tell you! (Note to prospective law students: take what I say with a grain of salt! But then, you probably already knew that.)
Gee, where to begin? Reckon I’ll start with the LSAT: The Law School Admissions Test. Or if you’re into redoing acronyms: the Least Scary Animal Test, the Left Side Ate Tacos, the Last Stupid Acronym Tendered, I promise. If you’ve taken the SAT or the ACT then you will have some sort of idea about what this test is like. Take away the breaks, lengthen each section into an hour and add a healthy dose of “it’s been four years since I’ve taken a test like this” and you’ve got the general idea. My experience was made infinitely more interesting when I visited the legal counsel for my undergraduate university and he told me this little story the day before I took my test:
(Fade into the past…re-colorization by Technicolor®)
“When I took the LSAT back in [YEAR CHANGED TO PROTECT THE ELDERY, OOPS, I MEAN INNOCENT], everyone was nervous. I remember this young man who sat right in front of me. Halfway through the first section he stood up, took all five of his carefully-sharpened #2 pencils and snapped them in half. He picked up his test booklet and ripped it in half. He strode to the front of the room, threw the pieces into the trash and walked out of the room without a word. The proctor for the test barely glanced up, apparently he’d seen this kind of behavior before…”
(and we’re back.)
On that cheery note I took my test. Well, I made it. For the first time in my life, I didn’t care how I had done on a test – I was just happy to be finished! My brain felt like fried oatmeal as I left the building. Five weeks later I got the results and then the real fun began: the Application Process. If you’ve taken the SAT or the ACT you probably remember how much mail you got for the next several weeks. Many letters from schools that you’ve never heard of trying to get you and your money to go there. Well, law schools are no different, except that they sincerely hope you haven’t already borrowed the maximum amount from the government. The national average debt for a graduating law student is somewhere in the neighborhood of $60,000! Well, I was able to throw out most of those letters because there were only two schools that I applied to. After filling out the LENGTHY applications, which require basically every bit of information about you (“do you prefer white meat or dark?”), I felt like I had divulged enough personal information to qualify me for a Presidential campaign. In fact, one of my friends has graciously provided me with a slogan: “Carden for President: Home schooling is no longer an option…it’s the LAW!” Don’t worry, he won’t be my campaign manager.
But I digress, I was talking about law school. Long story short, after much prayer and counsel, I am here at Regent University in Virginia Beach, Virginia. The specifics of the law school itself I will save for a subsequent article. Being in Virginia Beach has its own set of pluses and minuses. I believe a man once defined “mixed emotions” as: “Watching your mother-in-law drive off a cliff…..in your new Cadillac!” (Kids, this is a another good reason for courtship) I’ve had mixed emotions in a few areas. For instance, this past year I’ve lived 10 minutes from the beach and the ocean…but I’ve only been twice. Time is not my most plentiful resource in law school. But I’ve never lived this close to a permanent body of water! In Texas, it’s considered permanent if it doesn’t dry up by May. Also, I haven’t had Texas barbecue in FOREVER! They have something that they purport to call “barbecue” out here in the East, but trust me, it ain’t barbecue! And Mr. Pibb is NOT an acceptable substitute for Dr. Pepper. (“I didn’t go through three extra years of soft drink school to be called ‘Mr.’!”) What else should a graduate student drink but Dr. Pepper? Wow, I’m really chasing rabbit trails today. I haven’t eaten lunch yet, so food can be a real distraction. Sorry about that.
Law school began for me in August of 1999. Since that time, I have learned, in exhaustive detail, how ignorant of the law I really am. If ever I am tempted to think I have managed to grasp a concept, my professors are more than willing to cheerfully cut me off at the knees. However, amazingly enough, at the time of this writing (April 18, 2000, 1:55 p.m.), I am 23 days away from ending my first year of school. By the grace of God, I have survived! 10 finals, three competitions, two memos, one brief, a job, rent, bills, a few weddings, a broken hand, and a partridge in a pear tree. Many times I have read the story of Joshua praying for the sun and moon to stand still. Believe me, I’ve been tempted on a number of occasions. However, God has constantly made it clear to me that if I give Him the first fruits of my time, He will make sure that I have time to do what He has called me to do. Speaking of which – it’s time for class. We’ll finish this chat later. See you around!
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