January 30, 1999

Brother Nose Best

by Joshua Carden

Although home schooling provides a greater amount of family time spent together, it is important that the time is not limited to academics.  One of the ways our family spent time together was to have family night once a week.  We would play games, go somewhere, sing songs, but whatever we did, it was together. 

One of my brother Jason’s favorite family night activities was Bible Baseball, a combination of trivia and actual baseball.  (Let me stress here that the story I am relating is from a LONG TIME AGO, and Jason is now a JUNIOR in COLLEGE and is much more knowledgeable than he used to be.  By “knowledgeable” I mean he can now crush my spine with his pinkies.)   Bible Baseball was fun, because we got to run the bases for every correct answer we gave: a single for the easiest ones, a double for slightly harder ones, etc.  Well, on this particular evening, Jason’s skill was put to the test.  He stood at the plate looking intense as he peered over the top of his glasses at my father.  He waited eagerly for his question, certain to once more fly around the bases to score the winning run.  “Who built the ark?” came the pitch.  Without stopping to think, Jason blurted out “Moses!”  We all laughed and Jason looked puzzled.  “Strike one!” my father chuckled, “Come on, Jason; think now: who was it that built the ark, gathered the animals by twos and put them into the ark?”  Jason mulled over the answer and swung again: “Moses!”  “Strike two!  Okay, Jason, I know you know this, think REALLY hard,” my dad encouraged him.  “Who did God tell that it was going to rain and flood, and to build the ark?” 

Jason stared at my father’s face, certain that if he concentrated hard enough, the answer would appear on my father’s forehead in magic marker.   Since the answer was not immediately forthcoming, my father decided to hint.  After all, we all have these little slips of memory, right?  “N-,  Nnn-,  Nnnn-“  my father intoned, hoping to jog Jason’s memory.     After an agonizing moment, Jason suddenly put it all together: “NOSES!”  Needless to say, the umpire, the coach, and all remaining players (me) were immediately incapacitated by laughter and adjourned the game in favor of ice cream. 

Fifteen years later, Jason now pitches for real at Dallas Baptist University, and makes pretty good grades to boot.  He’d kill me if he knew I put this story on the web, but hey, he’s five states away.  What he doesn’t Noah, won’t hurt him.  Or me.