From Nebraska to Ukraine

the story of our courtship

Our story begins across the ocean, but is a love story written by the Lord even before our lives were created. His perfect faithfulness & perfect timing is what our story is all about. So, grab a seat, as I’d like to share with you a story that only God could write.

Our story unfolds in 1998, when the pastor from my church in Lincoln , Nebraska went with his wife on a missions trip to Ukraine . They stayed in the far eastern part of Ukraine teaching at the newly founded Bible college, and stayed in the home of a young man Sasha, and his mother. This young man was a student at the National University and also director for the Bible College . During his stay, pastor Stan and Sasha developed a friendship. After our pastor’s return, Sasha and Pastor Stan began e-mailing and soon our church prayed about sponsoring him to come study English for one year at the local Bible College . That summer, he received his Visa with a lot of prayer support, and in August of 1999, came to the USA . It was a miracle in itself that Sasha was granted a Visa, because out of 200 people that applied the same day he did, only about 10% actually received a Visa! Our congregation of about 160 people was SO excited about hosting and helping this young Ukrainian….anyone who wanted to have him over for dinner, etc, had to go through the church secretary! He was the most popular person at Grace Church!

That fall I began my Senior year. I started praying about college, and knew that I wanted to be a Missionary, but no big green light seemed to be showing just where and when. I had grown up in a Christian home, was home schooled and at the age of 15 (after reading several books, one was Joshua Harris’ I Kissed Dating Goodbye) committed myself to purity and courtship. Struggles had come and gone, but I knew that the Lord had my “knight in shining armor” out there, and knew everything would all come together in God’s perfect timing. Several verses were a continual source of comfort for me as I continually gave God my desires…

Psalm 37:3-5
Trust in the Lord, and do good; Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness.
Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, Trust in Him, and He will do it.

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.

I desired to be married, but I was not going to spend my time “husband hunting” or attend college just to find a mate. I was ready to wait on God and be single forever if that’s what His plan was for me. But, I figured courtship and marriage wouldn’t come until I was at least mid-20′s. I kept busy as I served through Sunday School, Awana, teaching 5-Day Clubs (through Child Evangelism Fellowship) and music. From a distance at church, I admired Sasha’s commitment to the Lord and his maturity that I hadn’t seen in many other young men.

In the beginning of October 1999, a friend of mine had gone to be with the Lord while serving in Russia . I had asked in church that following Sunday for prayer for her family, and after church Sasha came up to me and asked where in Russia she had worked, etc. Up to this point we hadn’t even talked, so we shared a bit and that next week started a friendship and began e-mailing each other.

To tell you the truth, I was scared to death! I had just told God that I was going to devote the next 2-4 years just for Him. I didn’t want any guy in my plans at this time! I struggled with several issues over the next few weeks, asking for wisdom from God, and listening to my parents. During the next few months, God began to break me more and more. I gave the Lord my struggles daily as I looked to Him for guidance and wisdom. Sasha and I got to know each other better through scriptural e-mails (which my parents monitored) . We saw each other at church, and visited, but didn’t see each other during the week or by ourselves. I considered him a good friend and brother in Christ, as we both desired to keep Christ in the center of our friendship.

For Christmas, we invited him to stay with us, and he got to meet my whole family. I am the second oldest of eight, and Sasha only has one brother, so our family seemed big! My family loved him, and Sasha fit right in.

January came and I left for my 2 week trip to Mexico . I knew during that time that God was working in our relationship and my feelings towards Sasha deepened, as I felt his did too. Sasha said he had prayed for 4 months before he felt that courtship might be God’s will for our lives. The trip separation confirmed his thoughts and feelings. A week after Mexico, Sasha invited me to a Missions Conference in Omaha, and that evening shared his feelings and wanted to ask my dad permission to court me. That week for me involved much prayer, and deep talks with my parents. Within a matter of days, I had changed from uncertainty, to knowing for sure that Sasha was the one for me.

That Saturday Sasha came to “talk to my dad.” We had a full house that weekend, with all 8 of us kids, plus we were watching 5 other kids! Anyway, Sasha came over Saturday evening, and since there wasn’t a quiet, private place to visit inside, they put on their heavy coats and went outside in the dark!! (this was the beginning of Feb.) As they visited on a walk, Mom and I were nervous and excited as we waited for them… When they returned Sasha said that Dad had given his permission to court me. We were all excited, especially my siblings, since they loved Sasha! By the first weeks of courtship, we knew that the Lord was leading us towards marriage. We also felt that the Lord was calling us to return to Ukraine , where Sasha would continue his education at the University. We started preparing for our wedding and our departure to Ukraine . We felt total peace about it, as well as my parents, and Sasha’s family, overseas. We announced our courtship on Feb. 12th in church, and our engagement was announced on February 27th! Although we knew we were going to be married, I wasn’t sure that we needed to spend the extra money on an engagement ring. But, on the night of the 25th, Sasha took me on a walk and surprised me with a diamond ring! He said that he had also been looking in costume shops and wanted to wear a suit of armor when he proposed!! It was a very special time for all of us.

During our courtship/engagement period we committed to wait for the first kiss on our wedding day. We had family around all the time for accountability, and went alone on walks for visits and prayer time. It was a wonderful time spent together as we prepared for marriage and our new life together.

I graduated from high school that spring, we were engaged for 3 months, and were married on June 3rd, 2000 . It was a simple, yet elegant wedding, which we wanted close friends and family to celebrate with. We were married by our pastor, and added the covenant symbols and their meanings from scripture in our ceremony. We desired for this special day to be one of which all the glory and honor was given to the Lord. What a beautiful day it was as we celebrated this new life together as one!!!

After our wedding, we had 6 weeks to pack everything and prepare to say goodbye before our departure to Ukraine . We had quite a lot of criticism from others (even believers), saying that we “were too young” (19 & 20 years old), that “you need to go to college,” and “in order to test your love Sasha needs to return to Ukraine and you should wait at least 2 years before marrying.” But we had complete peace, and that was the most important part. We all watched in amazement as the Lord answered so many prayers. I never would have dreamed of the Lord bringing a Ukrainian into my life and moving us for almost 2 years to the Ukraine . He had been preparing both of us, in ways that we never could have dreamed of!

The Lord faithfully provided for us as Sasha finished his schooling at the National University of Lugansk, Ukraine and as we started ministry work with the local churches. It was a truly growing experience for us in our first year of marriage and in our lives. The Lord guided our steps that in January 2002, we came back to Nebraska and in August 2002, our son Micah was born. We continue to seek the Lord’s will as we live here in the States and stay in contact with the ministry in Ukraine . God continues to bless us as we look to Him, and we hope that our lives may be a testimony to others from our courtship and in our marriage. We are so thankful to Him for His perfect faithfulness continually in our lives.

Isaiah 25:1
O LORD, Thou art my God;
I will exalt Thee, I will give thanks to Thy name;
For Thou hast worked wonders,
Plans formed long ago, with perfect faithfulness.