Several people have asked us how we met and for various details of the way in which God has brought us together in our relationship thus far. We determined that putting our story on the website was the easiest way for everyone to get all the juicy details! But we also want to be sure and give God all of the glory for what He has done. None of this would have come about except for His quiet, slow working in each of our lives.
SHARON:
Jason has always been a guy that I have respected, since 2003 when I began working at the International ALERT Academy. Mutual friends talked of him. It was even suggested to me that we get together, even way back then!
He had to make the first move, though.
Jason worked mostly in the campus’ auto shop, and I worked in various departments concentrating mostly on the single staff ladies as the dean of women, and the STEP program in the summer.
A couple of years went by.
I could observe how Jason related to his peers and co-workers. Visiting families was also a good time to observe how he related to children. Unfortunate for me, I really liked what I saw. Only unfortunate because I would have to wait a while to find out if he had any feelings toward me. At one point, I asked God, if He was to allow me to marry, could He allow the man to have the same good qualities I saw in Jason?
During this waiting time the Lord required faith, judgment, mercy from me, before He would even consider a relationship between me and Jason. He would require from me a better relationship with Himself. As the waiting stretched on, could I trust God for His timing? He continued teaching His lessons of showing mercy, loving unconditionally, and forgiving…
The inner struggle continued and became more difficult as my respect for the man was turning into something more. It was hard to keep it from showing. But I could not let him know, as that would spoil the wait. I discussed how I felt with my dad. Just admitting it to him helped me control my feelings some. I saw it as a test from God, so Dad could not totally “fix it” for me. I was still responsible for my own thoughts and actions.
JASON:
Like most single young people, I had a desire to be married that increased throughout my early 20’s. There were a few girls along the way that stood out to me for one reason or another, but each time I further sought the Lord’s will, He closed every possible door of opportunity. This frustrated me, until I finally realized how much I was trying to make things happen based on my limited understanding.
In January or February 2007, I began praying about marriage generally (without anyone in mind) and asking the Lord to reveal His will to me on the subject. I was content to be single, if that was His will, but if there was someone I should be noticing I wanted to know. Not long after I began praying, a particular woman began popping up in my life on a regular basis (whether in person or in conversations around me). Sharon Stillwell was someone I had known for a few years and definitely respected a lot. But I always considered her out of my league. I would later tell her that I thought she was “too good for me.” Yet she seemed to be everywhere I turned.
SHARON:
In February of 2007, I was asked to work a banquet being held for the staff couples. I was overjoyed when I found out Jason was also working there that night. When I realized our duties required us to work together, I was excited, but also very nervous that he might notice if I did anything to arouse his suspicions of my feelings toward him. Little did I know, but some of my girls were trying to plan ways to put us together that night, giving us assignments together. Being Dean made me keenly aware of what it might look like to the casual observer, so I had to be careful. But I thoroughly enjoyed his attention that evening, even if it made it harder on my thoughts later! I had to keep giving him back to God.
Life on campus got pretty busy with spring approaching. I found myself many times at the auto shop where Jason was working with my different vehicle issues. (They were legitimate!) I enjoyed seeing him work and how he responded to each situation. (Girls can be so dumb about car problems!) My respect for him had grown to great magnitudes, greater than I would even admit at the time.
JASON
Finally one day while talking with a friend, the conversation turned to marriage. My friend asked, “Have you considered Sharon?” I replied that I enjoyed her friendship, but did not see God leading me in her direction. A short time later while praying about marriage, the previous conversation replayed itself in my mind. I heard myself saying, “I don’t see God leading me in that direction.” And the Lord merely asked me, “Why not?”
Why not indeed!
After getting some counsel from my parents and a lot more prayer, I determined that I would make an attempt to begin a relationship if she was willing. My initial thought was to speak to her rather than her dad because I knew her but did not know him at all. So I spoke to Sharon about setting up a meeting. In the meantime, I discussed my plan with a friend and he suggested that I speak with her dad first. So God changed my plan (through my friend’s advice) and I now had to find a reason NOT to meet with her!
SHARON:
Summer was upon me, and it was time to gear up for another STEP program on campus. I would be very busy the next two months (May-June) and my responsibilities with the 100+ girls needed my full attention. During lunch one day right before all the girls arrived, Jason asked to talk with me one evening after work. I agreed and brought a friend with me, thinking it was about a current issue. After chatting for a bit, he said it wasn’t a good time to talk about what he was planning. “Okay, that’s fine.” But my brain was doing it’s best to think of why it wasn’t a ‘good time’. I honestly didn’t know what to think at that point, with the other issue fresh on my mind. The days went by, and I admit, it was difficult to concentrate. But I kept busy those two months and thoroughly enjoyed the ministry God called me to be involved with, watching Him touch lives and direct hearts toward Him.
JASON:
About the middle of May, I made the first phone call to Mr. Stillwell. Since Sharon was having some problems with her car, I had a good icebreaker to begin. After discussing the car issue for a little while, I finally got to the real reason for the call. He listened quietly and we ended the conversation with his permission to talk to Sharon after STEP concluded (the end of June – only 7 weeks to wait and see what she would say!).
SHARON:
After the last day of the last class, Jason again approached me with the question, “Could we meet tonight and chat?” He said he had to wait until after STEP to do this. I laughingly replied, “Yeah, it’s been rather busy.” Then it hit me as I heard again what he said. My heart was joyful and my head tried to talk some sense into it! No, surely not! My head tells my heart to quiet down, but it would not. The only thing I had ever discussed with my dad about what to tell a fellow if he was interested in beginning a relationship was that he had to wait until after STEP to let me know about it. I knew I could not focus on my work/ministry if I knew God was in the process of changing it.
I rode my bike to the meeting place after supper with mixed emotions. My heart and head continue the battle. This did not look like ‘staff business’ to me. My head was doing it’s best to protect my heart in case this was ‘staff business’. It wasn’t working.
We chatted about the car he was currently painting. It was an interesting project. I would like to find out more about what his plans are with it, but in the mean time, I’d like to know why he called this meeting! The polite, friendly chat came to a pause when he invited me to move it to the office, if I didn’t mind, where we could sit and talk for a bit.
By now my heart had taken over the head, sticking out its tongue in defiance. It knew what was coming, even when the head was in denial.
Jason began with a prayer. I wished it would have been appropriate to record, but these memories will have to remain just the way they are. Jason asked me straight forward as he explained the purpose of our meeting. Would I be interested in beginning a friendship with him, looking at the possibility of marriage in the future? My heart was squealing with delight! My head directed my mouth, though, with a calm “That would be fine.” Oh, my heart could’ve kicked my head for answering so dryly!
JASON: Outwardly, she sure didn’t seem overly excited about the idea. By her calm response, you’d have thought I’d just asked if she liked pepperoni on her pizza or some other trivial thing! I had to wait until later to find out what she was really experiencing.
SHARON:
We both agreed to start the progression slowly into the relationship. We asked permission to get to know each other quietly without telling the rest of the staff. The first five and a half weeks consisted mostly of phone conversations almost every night. We discussed everything from when we first believed in God, to what our favorite colors were. Jason and I dealt with personal issues of trust as we learned to share what God was currently dealing with in each of us.
JASON:
For the first 3 months, we all but avoided each other throughout the workday to hopefully avoid suspicion. Because of our work situation at ALERT, we had permission to talk and get to know one another better via phone conversations (a lot of long phone conversations!), but we really didn’t want anyone else to know of our interest in each other.
SHARON:
After three and a half months of a ‘quiet courtship’, it was time to announce to the staff what the Lord was doing in our lives. It was a joyous occasion! But it also marked the time when I would need to leave ALERT, changing from one calling to another God was preparing me to begin. I packed up and moved into an extra room at the Luksa’s place, three hours south of Big Sandy. Our parents agreed this was a good plan since my folks did not have enough room for me to move back in with them in Georgia.
God continued to work in our lives as He asked us to wait on Him for the next step in the relationship. My faith grew as it was tested by the waiting. I was waiting on God to move, not Jason. Sometimes it was more difficult, especially when I could see Jason wanting to move ahead. But it was reassuring, as well, knowing that each of us individually had waited for God to move in order to bring about this relationship in the first place. What were a few months of waiting compared to the years already spent waiting?
JASON:
Throughout our relationship, one common theme that resurfaced over and over was that of waiting on God’s perfect timing instead of moving forward when we were ready (or thought we were). We waited to begin deepening the friendship, we waited (longer than we thought we’d have to) to make our relationship public, and we waited again for the right time to become engaged. As things progressed, I prayed for a couple of months about the timing of the engagement. One thing the Lord impressed on my heart during this time was that my life and relationship with Sharon was for His glory. This made me even more hesitant to move forward. I had money in savings that I could have used to purchase an engagement ring. But Sharon and I agreed we both wanted God’s clear direction and provision. We further agreed that we were willing to wait however long it took so that He could get the glory in the end. I had two vehicles at the time (one of which I was trying to sell). I was hoping to have enough money for a ring out of the sale of the car. My initial plan was to get the car sold and a ring bought by Christmas ‘07, but the car didn’t sell. Discouraged, I headed home for the holidays. Shortly after arriving home, I was diagnosed with mononucleosis and more or less confined to my room for a couple of weeks. God in His wisdom knew I’d be sick and it would have been really bad timing to propose!
Having tried to sell it for months with no success, I finally listed the car online. Once again, through circumstances that were out of my control, the car didn’t sell. I found myself was very discouraged and not knowing what to do. A short time later someone who bid on the car that wanted to come look at it contacted me. We set a time and they bought the car on the spot. I purchased a ring the same day with plans to give it to Sharon the weekend after Valentine’s Day.
SHARON:
The day finally came. Jason planned a special day together on Galveston Island. I didn’t realize his plans until he presented me with ‘another Valentines gift’. He had already surprised me with salmon-colored roses, a cute teddy bear, and more chocolate than I could handle by myself. I couldn’t imagine wha… Oh, wait! Maybe today is the day!
Jason showed me how to work the wooden puzzle box and find the key to open it. It contained some really pretty rocks lined up on a silver band! “For the woman that has the key to my heart, will you marry me?” he asked. I was glad the weather wasn’t the grandest because the beach was almost completely empty.
And my answer was, “Yes!”…
