Whether you are already focusing on choosing joy or know you have a lot to learn about the practice of joyfulness, you’ll want to read Sally Clarkson’s new book.  (Keep reading to find out how you can win a copy!)

Dancing with My Father: How God Leads Us into a Life of Grace and Joy is not just an uplifting, encouraging read.  It’s like each chapter is a chat over a cup of tea with the author herself.  Reading Mrs. Clarkson’s book makes me feel like I’ve gotten to know this dear lady, seen her heart and felt her hugs.  Hearing through the pages of Dancing with My Father about how she chose joy in her daily life and struggles inspired me to choose “a different heart”, a heart of joy.  And it brought home the point that it’s not something that just happens—I must choose joy.  Each and every day.

Clearly joy is an issue of the heart.  Joy is not found in performing for people or in doing all the right things for God.  Nor is joy in the absence of difficulties or problems.  Joy is found in the presence of God in the midst of all circumstances, in delighting in the life he has given. (Dancing with My Father, pg. 38ff)

Mrs. Clarkson, as a mother of four, knows that joy doesn’t just naturally bubble up in every day of a mom’s life.  She knows the loneliness and discouragement that can come to a stay-at-home mom.  She knows the pain of watching a friend suffer.  She knows the heartbreak of losing a baby.  She knows the feeling that “life will be good when”—when I get married, when I have children, when my children are out of diapers, etc.  She knows that one can begin to feel empty when each of those milestones arrived without the hoped-for fulfillment and joy.

She has learned that joy and thankfulness do not come with a certain age or experience: they can only come out of the daily choice to be joyful and thankful.

The key to enjoying God in every moment of these daily pleasures is to open the eyes of my mind to see and to appreciate what he has given.  A thankful heart galvanizes the connection between my God and me.  (pg. 92)

Making a choice to resist stewing and fretting over all the issues of my day gives me the ability to delight in each moment as a gift.  My responsibilities have not changed, but my relationship to my responsibilities has.  (pg. 177)

As a young mom who can all too easily stay focused on the exhaustion of my never-ending, never-finished tasks, this book was not so much a breath of fresh air as a timely prick to my heart and conscience.  Am I seeing Him in the little things He has placed in my life—or am I too busy and overwhelmed to notice, let alone thank Him?  Am I using those 3 a.m. feedings to thank Him for my little one—or to dream of going back to sleep?  Is it evident to all who meet me that I have an inner wellspring of joy of my life—or am I rushed and stressed and anything but a picture of perfect peace and joy?

Mrs. Clarkson comes alongside the young mom, the stressed businesswoman, the tired missionary and gently reminds us of the only way we can keep the spring of joy in our steps as we dance through life: by choosing joy, choosing to live each moment in step with the Joy Giver, Jesus Christ our Lord.

If I want to grow a heart of joy, then I must plant the words of God and his truth.  I must feed joy daily to ensure that it becomes a healthy fruit of my heart.  I must be vigilant to pick and demolish the weeds of doubt, despair, sin, complain, and selfishness which threaten to overcome this joy.  A hedge of protection should be in place so that nothing comes in to destroy the very place that God designed for me to cultivate faith, truth, beauty, and joy.  (pg. 190-191)

And the sweet picture on the cover of a little girl dancing?  To me it represents the hope that my generation’s loss of joyful innocence can be restored: not into blissful ignorance, but into delightful dependence on God.

He can turn our mourning into dancing.  He is waiting to lead us by the hand, every step of the way.  It’s a daily choice.  But the burdens are lighter when Dancing with My Father.

Official YLCF Giveaway Entry Rules:

• To enter the drawing for a copy of Dancing with My Father, please comment and tell us:
  What is one of the “weeds” that robs joy from the garden of your heart?
  What do you do each day to feed the joy in your heart?
  What have you set as a hedge of protection around your heart to guard from doubt and despair?
• Don’t forget to include your name and email address in the space provided on the comment form (your email address will not be published, but we need a way to contact you if you win!).
• This drawing open to readers with U.S. mailing addresses only, please.
• YLCF Team Members, their families, and recent YLCF giveaway winners ineligible for entry.
• Drawing ends at midnight, Tuesday, March 9, 2010.
• Winner will be chosen randomly, notified by email, and announced in this post.
• Thanks to the WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for providing this book for review and giveaway.
• Congratulations to Megan for winning a copy of Dancing with My Father!

©2010 Young Ladies Christian Fellowship. All Rights Reserved.

God bless you all. And now, enjoy another candid peek into the lives of some of our faithful sisters in Christ.

from Rachel:

What am I doing with my single life?

I am enjoying it… most days.

When I was 15 or 16 I thought I had my life all planned… I would finish homeschool, work for Daddy on our farm, and “someday” my prince charming would come riding in to sweep me off my feet and carry me away! (Preferably by age 21!) But God had different ideas. Now, at 24, I’m still at home, farming and ranching, but Daddy is in heaven. When he died 7 1/2 years ago, my world got turned upside down.

I have spent this time learning to redefine who I am. I couldn’t define myself by only human standards anymore, I had to be who I am in Christ, and look to Him for guidance and comfort. I’m not just “so-and-so’s” daughter, I’m a child of the King!

I have spent this time learning contentment. However, every time I think I can say, “I have learned in whatsoever state I am…” I am presented with a new way of practicing it.

Yes, there have been plenty of tears in my pillow, or cried in the milk bucket. There has also been opportunity to reach out to others who are hurting as well. What Joy!!!

from Victoria:

My situation is slighty different as my parents are divorced and I am not yet 18. I have been done with highschool for almost a year. Right now, I am spending my time helping my mother in her home. Between my two siblings, three step-siblings and two other girls with disabilities (one with cerebral palsy, the other with downs syndrome) who live currently with us, we usually have eight kids staying in our house. I spend my time helping with cleaning, cooking, and helping with schoolwork. Outside of those duties, I love to spend time reading and learning new things, fellowshipping with friends, and going and helping out wherever else I am needed. I have a wonderful relationship with both of my parents and I go and visit my dad as often as I can as they do not live too far apart. =) I almost took college courses online which would have started this month, but the Lord told me that it was not part of His plan for my life. Now I am learning serve Him better day by day, and waiting to see where He leads. I cannot say how freeing it is to simply rest in Him.

God Bless!

from Jordan:

I was just thinking yesterday how fast my life to date has passed. Watching 6 children ages 1 to 10 will do that to you! It has really made me re-evaluate and realize how much I should be enjoying my current time of life. I’m only 17, so I haven’t had to learn to be content single, but I have struggled with putting my life in God’s hands. This verse in a song by Casting Crowns pretty well sums up my constant prayer:

Here at Your feet I lay my future down.
All of my dreams I give to You now and I find peace!
Here at Your feet I lay my life down
For You, my King, are all I want now and my soul sings!

I am spending my “single years” doing whatever God leads me to do. A couple months ago He gave me the opportunity to drive 9 hours to stay with a friend of a friend who has three boys 5 and under and a baby on the way. I was able to help prepare meals and make a few quilts while I was there.

When I was 13 I started a sewing ministry at my church. It has grown and changed, but it’s still going strong! It has given me a good opportunity to practice being an “older woman” to girls other than my sisters.

Around that time I also started sewing for ladies in our homeschool group, making modest dresses for their daughters. I have grown that into a business over the past 4 years. My vision is to keep the modest clothing that I make high on quality and low on cost since I know many homeschool families live on a single income.

D L Moody said, “It is better to say, ‘This one thing I do’ than to say, ‘These forty things I dabble with’.” The things above are really just things I dabble in. My “one thing”? Abiding in Christ: Living in Him, Learning of Him and Loving through Him.

from Vanessa:

Sometimes I am not sure I even know what it is like to be single – even though I am. My “single” years so far have been filled with so many children, so much activity, and so much love that loneliness has not been a huge issue for me. I have almost always had something to do. Right now I am a private duty nurse for a child. It’s very fulfilling work and I am learning skills I hope to use in the future.

My single years have been filled with extremes. I have had some very unique experiences, such as being a caregiver in an orphanage. That gave me years of parenting experience. Since entering the nursing field, I have dealt with births and deaths and everything in between. I do not fit into any sort of mold. I do not feel like a “sitting duck” – my life has not involved a whole lot of sitting around! My goal is to let the Lord Jesus Christ be the center of my existence. Even though choosing to follow the Lord sometimes brings personal pain, I do not regret the path I have chosen.

from Sarah:

When I was sixteen I thought I was ready! Ready to have a boyfriend, ready to get married very soon, ready to quit attending the churches valentines banquet alone. But my Prince Charming still hadn’t shown up. What was wrong with him? Didn’t he know I was ready?! Now, at the young age of twenty, I look back and laugh at myself. God is using these single years to chip away at some things in my life that He needed to get rid of. And it would be so much more painful were a young man in the mix. Do I want to get married? Yes! Am I ready? No. So, I’m using this time to draw closer to the Lord. I’m using it to be a missionary to my family, to my neighbors. Those things won’t stop when I become a “Mrs.”, but I can devote more energy and time to it now. And I’m actually thankful for this time of singleness. Right now I live with my sister as a “live in nanny”, as we like to call it. It’s very practical training for learning to be mommy, cook, housecleaner, teacher and organizer!

And we’ll close for now with a good word of encouragement. Though not technically a comment on singleness, every one of us can benefit from the joyful perspective of a new bride:

from Regina:

Thank you so much for sharing! How well I remember the days of tears and longings, wondering when (if ever) God would bring a husband and trying my best to trust the Lord and grow close to Him through that time. Now as I look from the other side of the spectrum as a new bride (having married my beloved in September of 2009), I just want to bless each of you for yielding your lives to the Master Potter and allowing Him to shape you in His ways. I was so encouraged as I read how the Lord is using you in His kingdom as you faithfully follow Him! I discovered that learning trust – contentment – patience does not end at the marriage altar. In a way it only becomes more real as the sweetness of marriage unfolds.

God is continuing to work in my life – teaching me to trust Him, find my contentment in Him, rest in His care, and to be patient for His perfect timing. I am so grateful for the foundation that began in my single years.

As you follow the Lord and serve him faithfully in the little things remember that what you are learning now is becoming a foundation for what the Lord will continue to teach you through the coming years, as He unfolds His plan for your life.

Blessings to each one of you – married or single – Let us continue to lay our lives at the feet of the Father and trust Him in every situation we find ourselves in.

If you happened to miss the previous entries in the series, take a look at Single-Minded, Part Two and Single-Minded, Part Three.

©2010 Young Ladies Christian Fellowship. All Rights Reserved.

Part Two gave us a picture of half-a dozen young ladies spending their days lavishly in the love of God, and the stories you’ll find below are no different. I’ll just let them speak for themselves.

And check back on Friday for Part Four!

from Elizabeth:

The answer to “How are you keeping busy?” is that I am living life. I’ve never known anything except singlehood, so it feels fairly normal.

As to what God is teaching me: I often think of the young ladies in Biblical times as being under the protection of their parents and elders. As a missionary, I am not living with my parents, but I still feel under their protection, as well as under the protection of my Heavenly Father.

Recently I was praying about marriage, and I had a vision of standing before a crosswalk with the Lord tightly holding my hand. He would not let me go yet; it was not safe to cross, and He would not let me run into a dangerous situation. I am often aware of how He knows exactly what I need and what I DON’T need at any moment in time.

from Lin:

I am happily waiting for a person who will be easy to chose to love after years and years of marriage. It is so exciting to think about someone who will be just right for me the same way I see my parents and rest of the family married. It is like an unopened present that only gets sweeter and sweeter with time. I can feel in my heart my time is not yet and I rejoice in my free as the wind days! Life is simple, uncomplicated and happy! God has blessed me beyond reason!

from Ginger:

I wonder often when my prince will find me. Is there even a prince in my future? Questions like that will assail my mind at times. But for the most part, I am very happy in my “single” state and I try to leave the matchmaking to the One Who created my story before I was even born.

To answer your question. Yes, the Lord has given me plenty of opportunities while I am single. For one He has given me the gift of teaching and the opportunity to have my own classroom and my own class. I am able to have my full attention in teaching right now while I am still fairly new to the whole teaching thing!

I also am enjoying my single state while I have a six month old brother at home. I enjoy having this time to still be at home and to have this time to be an important part in my brother’s up bringing.

Those are only are a couple of blessings God has given me. There are so many more but I would have to write a novel to list all of them!

from Sarah:

In this time of singleness God has given me an incredible opportunity to continue my education. Occasionally I get wrapped up in waiting for “the one” and feel like I shouldn’t make plans too far into the future in case “Mr. Right” appears, but then I remember that God is not simply in control of my future, but also my present. His plan for me today is education and I need to wait patiently and prayerfully for Him to reveal His plans for my future.

from Kiersti:

While in my younger years I had hoped to be married by my current age of 25, the Lord has given me so many good things in this season of singleness. I am grateful to have the freedom and availability right now to help my family care for my elderly grandmother, whom we live with and who has dementia. I know things would be much harder on my parents and sister without my extra pair of hands. God has also given me jobs I enjoy–working in the Writing Center at my local community college and private tutoring an 8th grade girl in writing and English–as well as other special opportunities, like a writing internship with a small children’s missions magazine and helping with a Christian musical theater group for families that my family helped start this year. While the Lord has not seen fit to fulfill my dream of being a wife and mother yet, He has fulfilled other dreams that I didn’t even expect Him to, like getting to teach dance to children, be involved in musical theater, and even visit Europe when I studied abroad in college. He has also given me precious time with my family that I would have missed were I busy with a family of my own. Most of all, He has shown me how very near and dear He is Himself–though I know I still have so far to go in learning to know and love Him–and how Jesus truly is more than enough, and the only One who can meet our deepest needs and desires. These lessons have come through much heartache, but they are worth it. There are still days when singleness is very hard, as one by one my friends get engaged and married and no young man seems to show interest in me. But I can see more and more that the Lord’s plan is best. Thank you to all you girls who have shared…it is a blessing to see how He is blessing and using each of you right where He has placed you. May He bless you, and all you readers, each one.

from Abigail:

When I was younger it seemed like I had two possibilities ahead of me: marrying young or “surviving” a period of singleness. I have been pleasantly surprised to find myself in the midst of a third option: actually enjoying singleness! There are times, certainly, as Elisabeth mentioned, when those little glimpses of married life make my heart ache. There are days when I need to make a list of “Benefits I am Receiving From This Season.” But much of the time I am content and very happy. Recently I was surprised to hear myself say, “Thank You, Lord, that I’m not married yet!” I credit this to God’s grace in helping me to enjoy this unique time. For me, the more involved I get in ministry and the more I realize the many needs that surround me, the easier it is to stay focused on using this time well. If I think “How long will I have to wait until I can get married?” the wait can seem daunting, but if I think, “How much longer will I have to be this free and flexible for serving the Lord?” I feel like time is running short!

from Megan:

I’m going to Moody Bible Institute as a Women’s Ministry major starting next fall. I would love to end up working with young ladies in their teens and twenties, so one way that I see my single years is as time to gain experiences so that I can relate to girls who go through the same things. I’ve got some wonderful women who give me wisdom right now, so I’m taking notes! This includes the realization- through disequilibration and experiences, not just concepts- that God really is the Lover of my soul and the only constant, certain hope that I have.

©2010 Young Ladies Christian Fellowship. All Rights Reserved.

from Raquel Mutton:

Oh my… It’s so hard to untangle the answers to the questions you’re asking from the pain and tears of not knowing, and one more birthday being single, and one more day of biting my lip as I try to do what’s in front of me without creating a fantasy of world of how ‘he’ will come and fall madly in love with me…someday…

So what am I doing right now? When I turned 18 and graduated from my last year of homeschooling I moved in with my sister and her husband and their (then) five children. I am now 24, and my sister has seven children, and I’ve spent the last 6 years ‘practicing’ my homemaking skills. I thought I had them down pat because I was a nice homeschooled girl who knew how to cook and clean and do practical things, but I learned there’s a difference between knowing how and doing it day after day after day through all of the surprise inconveniences life throws at you.

While I’ve been busy growing up through the past few years, so have my sister’s children, and now that her oldest is 14, I’m needed less than I used to be around the house. One thing I’m spending my time on now is my amazing new hobby of couponing. I’ve discovered that if you put the time into learning the ‘game’ and plan each shopping trip carefully you can get tons of stuff for free or very cheap by combining sales and coupons. Some of this stays in my sister’s house, some of it gets sent to the house of another homeschool family nearby, and everything that’s left I donate to a local mission.

I have learned that no matter how small and pointless (and sometimes boring) my part seems in the grand scheme of things, if it’s the job God gave me, I will be faithful. I have learned that feeling peace is not necessary to being content in God–which is helpful when I’m once again sobbing into my pillow and wonder if I should be feeling guilty for being so miserable. I have learned that no matter how strongly it feels that God just ditched me and doesn’t care about me, it is not true and never will be. I have learned that I since I can never be good enough or wise enough to earn any good gifts from God, that means that my singleness isn’t a punishment for ‘not being good enough yet’. I have learned that no matter how well I think I’ve learned all of these lessons, I will promptly forget and need to learn them all over again.

I have learned that life is incredibly more excruciatingly painful and complicated and messy than I ever realized, and that my God is bigger, and brighter and more amazing than I could have known without the pain.

from ladyfelicity:

My single days are filled with … life. Abundant, exhilerating, exhausting, precious, wonderful life. (Sorry, that isn’t simple and succinct!) Let’s try again …

For me, the key to not just surviving but LIVING singleness is surrender. I try to surrender EVERYTHING. Jesus knows and understands and cares about my hopes and dreams. My life belongs to Him and I’ll never miss my life by leaving the details of love and marriage and motherhood in His hands. His timing is perfect. He knows how old I am and He’ll work everything together for good – even “the late twenties” and the challenges with which they present single girls. For me, the key to living singleness is surrendering everything to Him and watching Him do wonderful things in a heart and life that belong to Him.

God has brought some amazing things into my life – the chance to do admin for a local Christian ministry that ministers and prays on the streets of the city and the inspiration to write … articles and, come this spring, real life books. These are unique opportunities for TODAY – for this season of singleness. One of the wonderful-to-me ideals I have for this season is to write books that encourage girls in faith through stories. If we’re surrendered to Him and committed to saying yes to Him and walking with Him in faith, He brings wonderful things into our lives – things we can do with and for Him, but would never dream of doing on our own initiative or in our own strength. It’s a blessing to serve our families and friends, but it’s so exciting when God brings MORE.

Focusing on God ALONE is hard when you want to focus on Him WITH a special someone. But think of it the other way round – someday you’ll have to focus on Him with a husband and a bunch of children, but now you can focus on Him ALONE. It’s just you and Him and that’s … special. He can be your dearest friend. Make the most of it TODAY!

from Millie LeFlore:

I’m 26 and as I continue to follow Jesus Christ, he is showing me more of his heart through my singleness. When I lay my desires before Him they become a place where He meets me and speaks directly to my heart about His love and desire to be with me. Although I wanted to be married at 18, looking back I wouldn’t trade my years of singleness for anything. Through them I have learned what surrender is, what trust is, and I’ve been free to serve on the mission field in ways a married woman may not have been able. Thank you Jesus for my singleness!! thank you Jesus for YOU.

from Stacy:

As a single woman going into her mid twenties, I still long to meet the right one, but want to keep my relationship with the Lord as my first priority. It’s not easy, but I still hope for the best. I try now by volunteering wherever I can in my church and expand my writing ministry. It does help to do things and focus on positive things in the present. If I fall, I just get up and dust off my shoulders.

from Rachelle:

I organize the youth newsletter for my church. I am beginning a read-a-thon Feb. 12 to raise money for Compassion International’s relief efforts in Haiti. Most importantly, though, I am seeking to seek Him first during this time of serving Him “without distraction.”

from Anna Lofgren:

I am spending my single days serving my Savior and community He’s placed me in for now, learning contentment and trust, and preparing for marriage, and motherhood, if and whenever that will happen. I’m taking advantage of extra time I have to devote to the Lord and be about His affairs, making sure that my day starts with extended time with my heavenly Father. Making a routine of studying many books helps deepen my walk with Him and prepare myself for the different roles He may have me play. Though it can definitely be a struggle at times, God has granted me peace and contentment as I trust Him for His timing. Time and again He’s led me in amazing ways to show me what He wants me to focus on for now. As a single young lady, He’s blessed me with time with my family at home, and given me the incredible opportunity of teaching praise ballet to 40 young girls and directing theatre involving many families. It is a joy to be a part of bringing glory to God through the arts!

to be continued…

©2010 Young Ladies Christian Fellowship. All Rights Reserved.

May I be honest?

“The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth” is that—take a deep breath—the pain of singleness is real…deep…persistent.

I hate to admit it, but when I was in my teens, I whined about singleness. I wanted to marry “my childhood sweetheart.” I didn’t, actually, have such a guy in my life. I wanted to marry right out of school. I didn’t, obviously, considering that I’m writing this article! And way back then, it was tough dealing with frustrated desires of the heart and I whined—at my Jesus, to my parents and my friends, in my diary.

Now—in my mid-twenties—I try hard not to whine! (I want to stress that fact!) But it’s still tough dealing with frustrated desires of the heart.

Really tough.

Really, really, really tough.

Like I said, the pain is real…deep…persistent.

I’m surprised at how real it is. It’s not “just” a sense of emotional yearning, it’s a physical pain. It’s so deep (and personal), it’s hard to express. And it’s so persistent, it’s hard to forget.

When a friend starts dating or courting or, more often in my circle of friends, gets married or has a baby (or another baby), I’m so happy for her, but not-so-happy for little ol’ ME!

I was just looking at the pictures of one of my dearest friends and her young man at a ball. They are the cutest couple ever. I’m so totally, ridiculously happy for her I couldn’t stop smiling the whole time I was looking at the pictures! But…the whole time I was looking at the pictures, I was thinking about MY as-yet-unknown young man—wondering who he is and where he is at this moment…wanting him at my side…missing him in my heart. Moments like these—the news that a young couple have fallen in love, the sight of an old couple holding hands, the chance to cuddle a baby (not my own)—bring tears to my eyes.

And I wonder…why?

I don’t know why God allows the pain of singleness. The pain seems so pointless. But there’s more to singleness than the pain in my heart.

In Philippians 1:6, Paul says, “For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.” I love this verse. I feel as if God has a LOT to do to perfect in me “a good work”—the good work of conforming me to the image of my Jesus. In Romans 8:29, Paul says, “For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His son…” How wonderful is it that God has predestined me to become conformed to the image of His Son—my Jesus. In Philippians 2:13 Paul says, “For it is God who is at work in you both to will and to work for His good pleasure.” And in Romans 8:28 Paul says, “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”

Do you see?

Do you understand?

The pain of singleness is one of the things that God uses to perfect the good work He has begun in me and to conform me to the image of my Jesus.

He uses the pain for good.

He uses the tears for good.

He uses the soul-ache for good.

He uses them to conform me to the image of the One who knows and loves me best—who knows the pain and understands the tears. I promise. More to the point, He promises. He’s making you like Him and He’s using the pain of singleness to transform you, so you are radiant with Him.

But He doesn’t just promise to transform you; He promises something even more wonderful:

I am with you always, even to the end of the age. (Matthew 28:20)

Almost two thousand years after He uttered those words, do you believe the promise? It was made by your Jesus. Believe it—believe Him.

When the pain of singleness is overwhelming and feels pointless (not to mention endless!), remember that your Jesus is with you in the midst of the singleness. In the midst of the pain. In the midst of the ups and downs–joys and sorrows–of your life.

The pain is real.

But the promise is real, too. Your Jesus is with you … always. Forever.

©2010 Young Ladies Christian Fellowship. All Rights Reserved.

But in this pause, as the company slowly shuts down for the night around me and my husband passes in and out with a quick smile, I can’t help but think of the time in which I not only did not own such a privilege as to bustle into this man’s office, clearing papers for the basket of bread and cake that I bore and completely commandeering his work space for a YLCF post—but when I had no idea that he even existed! It seems so funny to think of it, but my brother was employed by the electrician that did the wiring for this building, spending days on end working directly with Philip, the summer before I even met him. We laugh about it now—how all it would have taken would have been one day of me being sweet enough to drive my little brother to work and we’d have had this deal wrapped up a whole year earlier!

And it feels like forever ago—another lifetime altogether—that the big question of my life lay unanswered and the future stretched ahead like a kaleidoscope of differing possibility. What would he look like? Would he be as kind as I hoped, as gallant? Would he sweep me off my feet in a moment or engage in a gentle wooing?

Would I be married at all? Was there something I was missing; some path God was pointing to that didn’t lead to a wedding but to some other adventure of His choosing?

Would I be happy?

Those days may seem like a long time ago now. But I remember the questioning like it was yesterday. I remember the frustrations of singleness and the endless curiosity and the flashes of carefree joy with which God blessed my way. I remember the comparative luxury of time to focus on the Lord “without distraction” and I remember the pain of waiting. Keenly. I will never forget it. And I’m glad.

We at YLCF have been thinking a lot about our singles lately, wanting to make sure we’re serving your needs and meeting you where you are. We want to be aware that in the midst of all the good posts on marriage and homemaking and motherhood we’re not leaning too exclusively on vision-casting—important in its own right and a good thing. But not the only thing.

Not the Main Thing.

It’s for that reason that I’m excited to announce a special “Single-Mindedness” for the month of February. Look out for some wonderful pieces, some of which have been penned by our very own YLCF readers, on the blessings, the unique opportunities and, yes, the struggles of singlehood. And get ready for a little audience participation, as well. We want to hear from you: what are you doing with your single days? How are you focusing on the Lord and your relationship with Him? How are you maintaining your pursuit of the Main Thing in the midst of desire? In what ways have you learned contentment? What wonderful opportunities and ambitions has He given you?

Be thinking about it, because we want you to leave a comment on this post—or any of the others to follow this month—telling us how you’re actively investing your singlehood to the glory of God! Keep it simple and succinct because we’re planning on compiling them all into one post at the end of the month. And I am anticipating a wonderful tapestry of diversity exhibiting the creativity of our Creator-King and the beauty of His daughters in more unique situations than we can imagine.

So get scribbling!

©2010 Young Ladies Christian Fellowship. All Rights Reserved.

The question has been presented in various forms over the two years John and I have been married. I heard it again last weekend at the wedding we attended.

Before I answer, I ask myself, what do I do?

Thinking over my days I remember the many little things that fill them. Waking up while the morning is still crisp, snuggling with my husband and baby boy, eating breakfast of cereal with banana before John leaves for work, reading my Bible with Troy on my lap… doing dishes, laundry, vacuuming, dusting, mopping, ironing…. planning menus, making grocery lists, having dinner ready when John gets home from work… holding and loving my precious baby boy, kissing poor tiny fingers pinched in baby toys–which will soon be scraped knees and cut fingers, changing many diapers a day, looking into Troy’s sweet little eyes as he nurses… enjoying conversations in the evening, ranging from computer networking to Bible doctrines… watching Troy enjoy his bath, then rocking and singing him to sleep… listening to John read God’s Word and praying together before drifting off to sleep…

“What do I do?” I reply with a smile. “I am a domestic engineer.”

“Oh. Wow.” The eyebrows go up. “And… do you enjoy that?”

Again I smile, unsure if this friend of a cousin understands what I mean in using the little phrase my mom coined when I was a little girl. “Yes. Yes, I do.”

A friend stopped by yesterday. We haven’t seen much of each other lately due to many short trips both of us have made. This was the girl who, in our high school years, was envied by many of the teenage girls in our church. Perhaps because of her naturally tiny shape, stylish clothes, coquettish ways? I don’t really know why we girls think some of the silly things we do.

We had a bit of an awkward visit yesterday. I listened for the first hour while she talked about all of the excursions she and her single sister have been making… weekends at the beach, visiting friends around the state and country. She told me about the cosmetology school she enrolled in, the house she just bought. She laughed as she told me about all the many guys who are just “crazy about her.” She talked of the clothes she’s been buying and the brands she loves.

Then she paused, sat back, and looked at me. “So what have you been doing? What’s up with you?”

“Well,” I began. “Not much. We just got back from a wedding in Minnesota, and we’re finally done with all these trips! I’ve just been kinda recovering from that… you know, laundry and cleaning up and stuff.”

I was met with a blank stare. For a moment there, I felt exactly like I did at fifteen when this same friend, who has become a dear friend in more recent years and with whom I laugh about our high school years now, would talk to me only if she had to, since I far, far from “cool.”  She said nothing. Just looked at me, waiting for me to say something else.

I took a breath. “Aaaand, taking care of Troy…. and…. stuff like that.” I laughed. There really wasn’t much else to say!

A  little half smile and a shrug. “Oh.”

This was one of those rare moments when I feel that my life is monotonous… humdrum… a little, perhaps, boring? I wanted to crawl upstairs with Troy and hide in a corner. The blank look, the shrug, the half smile. I felt so… insignificant. I didn’t have any wild times to talk about, or guys to report on,  or new clothes to sport. I just had the rhythm of my little life, not too full, not too crazy.

She left shortly after that, and I sat down on the couch where my friend, whom I do love dearly, had been sitting. I pulled Troy near to nurse him and thought about the visit. My heart was full of many different emotions, for many different reasons, not all relating to that conversation. But I still felt a tiny bit bruised from the encounter, and was rather surprised at my own reaction.

Then I looked down into the eyes of my baby boy. He was gazing up at me with more trust and little baby love than I ever could have imagined. I ran my hand across his soft head and held his hand in mine. My eyes started welling up.

As I sat there, John arrived home for his lunch break. He came and sat with me while I still fed Troy, and we talked together about his morning at work, my visit, and a few other topics. He put his arm around me and said, “The house sure looks nice. I like coming home when you have the music playing and candles lit.” I smiled at him, happy he had noticed my cleaning efforts of earlier in the morning.

It was quiet for a minute, then John looked down at Troy, stroked his little foot and said, in his cutest little mushy voice, “Isn’t he just the cutest thing?”

As I sat there, contemplating the events of the first half of the day, I became overwhelmed at God’s goodness to me. He has indeed given me everything and so much more than I ever could have asked for. He blesses me each morning with new mercies, a husband’s love, a little baby blessing to love and nurture, and a home to keep for His glory. What more could I want? The day to day tasks of my life may not hold much significance in the sight of others, but I can go to bed each night knowing that my husband considers himself a blessed man, and we are raising our little man to love Jesus with all of his heart. These are the things–the occupation–I have been given, and by God’s grace, I want to be a good steward of them, so that in the end, I can stand before Him and be told, “Well done, good and faithful servant… He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much… In as much as you’ve done it unto the least of these. you’ve done it unto Me.”

Written August 2006

©2010 Young Ladies Christian Fellowship. All Rights Reserved.

We often speak of things such as being a wife or mother as God’s calling. “This is my highest and noblest calling,” we might declare. I beg to differ. God’s calling to a life is the thing that will never, under any circumstance, change in that life. Throughout scripture we see His call of salvation, His call into service to Him, His call to righteousness. These are universal to all believers. But we don’t find Him calling people into motherhood, the medical field, a teaching career.  He does, however, put us in specific seasons in which we, individually, can fulfill those basic callings of service, of righteousness, of  love for others, of showing forth His salvation. We are called to be filled with Jesus and be wholly His own.

Marriage and motherhood are amazing blessings to be highly exalted and revered. They are high and noble seasons He gives to some of us, and when we’re in them (which, for marriage, is until death or circumstances beyond the Christian’s control separates the two) they are our highest priority, most certainly, and should be the thing into which we pour our whole selves for the glory of God. But to say marriage and motherhood (which, obviously, typically go hand in hand in our young dreams for the future) are the highest calling for a woman is to say that the woman who doesn’t ever marry or who isn’t able to conceive has somehow missed God’s original plan for her life. Both wifehood and motherhood are noble, if that’s the way God shows Himself through you, but they don’t at all lessen the height and nobility of the season in which He sets another one of us–perhaps the one to whom He’s given the season and priority of being on the mission field, obtaining a Master’s degree, serving as a nurse to people who need care, writing books and speaking to young women, teaching children, or any number of things God’s given the ability to do.

I’d not be so self-confident as to proclaim it easy to find the balance between preparing for what becomes the main occupation for the majority of young women at some point in their lives and not allowing it to become the sole focus. Nor would I say that I, as one who married young myself, have the answers for singlehood. Most noteable, I must be honest and say that I entered my own marriage yet holding some of the views I’m currently refuting. But I do know that even for me, as a wife and mother right now, God is showing me the truth of His calling on my life to follow Him wherever He leads being encompassed in the current priorities He’s given me of husband and children. But for single girls, their priorities are completely different. Even for some who are married, these eventually change. Spouses outlive each other, children grow and have families of their own. We’ve all heard the saying, “Nothing is unchangeable but change itself.” God’s ways are so much higher and more complete than ours–none of us knows what tomorrow holds. There are no guarantees–at all–outside of our unchanging Savior. Limiting a life to a man-made plan for the single years completely negates God Himself and His wisdom that reaches far above our own.

Never in the Bible do we read of women, single or married, spending idle days waiting for Prince Charming to arrive at their doorstep. Think of Rebekah, Ruth, Deborah, Esther, Anna, Lois, and so many others. Every woman mentioned, single or married, is found working, serving the Lord in industrious pursuits suitable to her season in life.

We can’t expect God to bless our efforts when they are ones of idly waiting or of simply taking matters into our own hands because we think we know what will make us happy. The true calling of active service on the path He sets before us is a command that extends beyond the boundaries and context of marriage and motherhood.  Single and married women alike need not be afraid of following God’s calling for them, individually–realizing that fulfilling His purpose for their lives is the only end goal worth pursuing and is something that can be accomplished now by living fully and vitally for Him, wherever that path leads… even if that path looks differently than we expect or desire it or even completely different from all of our friends.

Cooking is good. Cleaning, decorating and caring for a home are valuable skills. Children are a wonderful gift from our Father. Marriage is… wow. Learning more about all of these things is helpful (though there is a time to perfect and refine those skills, and it’s usually when they are actually your own priorities).

But also admirable is the unmarried girl who is teaching a room full of eager young minds who need guidance. Or trekking through a third world country and telling natives of a Savior who loves them enough to die for them. Perhaps it’s writing a dissertation. Answering phones and filing paperwork in an office building. Speaking to young women about pursuing Jesus. Traveling around the country and world as a photographer for missions trips and organizations. Meeting a word count goal for the book you’re writing. Serving teens and families at a Christian camp. Leading kayaking tours down a raging river. Being a chef in a fancy restaurant.

Go. Do. Follow Jesus. Be Busy. Embrace your true highest calling.

©2010 Young Ladies Christian Fellowship. All Rights Reserved.

But marriage is not the end goal of life.

Knowing personally and loving wholly the precious Savior IS the first and foremost goal of life. While such things as marriage and motherhood are, for many, the outworking of this goal, marriage in and of itself doesn’t make a life complete. It doesn’t signal the beginning of “real life.” It is simply a way God has ordained for some–I’d even venture to say most, but certainly not all–to better glorify Himself. Personal fulfillment, joy and happiness aren’t obtained solely through the finding of a life partner. If this is the only thing one is hoping for, waiting idly for, or even preparing solely for, something is severely wrong. Nowhere in scripture does God command or even suggest that marriage is the “IT” thing in the life of anyone–not even young women. In fact, the verses speaking specifically to unmarried women say the opposite–single women should be concerned wholly and completely with learning of, loving and serving their Heavenly Father, not waiting expectantly for life to truly begin with the appearance of Prince Charming.

It seems there is a rash among Christian young women to see their lives as being in a holding pattern until they get married. I know many–far too many–young ladies who prepare in every way and form they can think of, expecting to get married right after high school, because, well, isn’t that what we’re supposed to do? Some of us grow up often thinking that all we want to do in life is be a wife and mother… so why think of or plan for anything else? We do a good thing in learning basic and sometimes advanced housekeeping skills as we get older, and often, for Christian young women raised (rightly so) to revere and respect the position of wife and mother, this is the thing into which we pour our whole selves while we wait.

Sometimes, though, the waiting is longer than we thought it would be when we were 16. We reach the end of high school and our knight in shining armour hasn’t yet arrived on his white steed, so we wait another year or so, knowing he’ll drop from the sky soon… right? Two years pass… and three… and five… and… before you know it,  some have been single for much longer than they expected. They’ve been waiting at home doing everything they can to prepare for marriage–learning to cook, care for children, keep a home. They far surpass the basic housekeeping skills and have become a homemaker any young man would be blessed to have loving him and keeping his home. But some of them are beginning to wonder–what do I do with these single years as a whole? Have I possibly spent these past years waiting for something never meant to complete me in the first place?

We think we’re living for the Lord by preparing for marriage and marriage alone and might even feel a bit puffed up about our “holy focus” instead of doing the so-called “worldly” thing of pursuing a busy life of college, missions, service or anything that doesn’t center on preparation for marriage. We don’t realize we’re actually guilty of doing the very thing we’re accusing the rest of the “world” of doing. We’re living for our own pleasure–we believe we know what will make us happiest and most fulfilled in this life and so, as with someone wishing to enter any other field, we pursue nothing else. Is it worth considering that in some of these situations, perhaps we’re actually being blinded by our own desires? Are our own preconceived notions keeping us from what God actually has for us for this particular season?

Stay tuned for Part Two…

©2010 Young Ladies Christian Fellowship. All Rights Reserved.

It’s not a to-do list.

It’s not a game with hidden rules.

Though sometimes it feels like all of those combined.

Being single is not something I like to talk about. Because there are days, if you want me to be honest [and I think you do], being single feels like a curse.

A punishment.

A loss.

And if only I could find the magic key, pray the magic prayer, or do the right amount of things on the list, it could all be over.

And good Christian girls aren’t supposed to hurt if they are single. They are supposed to love it and endure it and think that being single is a glorious gift.

I don’t always think that. And I am a Christian. I promise.

On the other hand, it doesn’t hurt everyday. Many days, I totally love my life and I am super grateful for all the wonderful things God is doing.

It just seems like one day, I’ll unknowingly pray the magic word and POOF, my husband-to-be will appear, we will get engaged, and all my married friends will sit around and laugh at the memory of my singleness and how they are so glad they don’t have to keep the secret from me any longer.

Or what if I could solve it myself? Like one day, I say, “Oh, I’m single because I haven’t done enough hours of community service? Well, I’m really going to get right on that.” If, somehow, we had the power to orchestrate life to look the way we think is right.

The problem: Being single is a punishment that I have brought upon myself.

The solution: Do something about it.

But that is not the case.

A funny thing just happened. As I’m sitting here typing this post at the beach, my friend yells to me, “Come look, there’s a wedding!” I immediately jump up, roll my eyes, and with a hint of a smile say, “God, You would do that to me.”

Here I am writing about the confusion and concern and worry that come from the heart of a 29-year old single girl, and just down the beach, someone has solved the puzzle. In her white dress, she practically floats across the sand right into her answered prayer.

I almost yelled, “WHAT’S THE MAGIC WORD??!”

But that might have been awkward.

I stood there and watched the entire wedding, from the bride entering to the couple taking pictures on the sand. And as evening came and the sunshine melted away, so did my sad heart. In its place, God filled me with a renewed hope.

Not hope that my husband is on the next train into Annie-ville. [Though I wouldn’t mind that.]

But hope in the truth that this is out of my control. A hope in HIM. A hope that only comes from knowing that there is no real checklist, there is no certain amount of community service hours, and there is no puzzle to be solved.

In Romans 12:12, it says to be joyful in hope. And when I think about the truth, that God knows better than me, that His plans are always good, and that singleness is just part of that good plan, then I can choose joy.

Choose joy. Choose to live the abundant life that He has already given me.

The hope I have is in knowing that He knows. I can have days when I whine and am disappointed and feel hurt. But He knows my heart, He knows my desires, and He knows, in the end, that I love Him more than anything.

There is no puzzle. There is no checklist.

There is just a loving God who knows my heart and loves me anyways.



Annie Downs tells stories for a living as a freelance writer in Nashville, Tennessee. Flawed but funny, Annie uses her writing to highlight the everyday goodness of a real and present God. You can read more from her (but probably not about being single) at annieblogs.com.

Also read Symbol of Hope, another excellent post by Annie at (In)Courage.

©2010 Young Ladies Christian Fellowship. All Rights Reserved.

It was only because of the mercies of God that, after years of wrestling, I finally relinquished control of my love life to Him. Contrary to my expectations, it had nothing to do with ceasing to care about marriage. Instead I learned to become a living sacrifice: regularly, trustfully pouring out all my longings before Him.

-click here to read the rest of “His Love Stories” by Elisabeth over at Boundless

And don’t forget to re-read Elisabeth’s “Seasons of Singleness” series right here on YLCF.

©2010 Young Ladies Christian Fellowship. All Rights Reserved.

Thou hast not that, My child, but thou hast Me,
And am I not alone enough for thee?
I know it all, know how thy heart was set
Upon this joy which is not given yet.
And well I know how through the wistful days
Thou walkest all the dear familiar ways,
As unregarded as a breath of air,
But there in love and longing, always there.
I know it all; but from thy brier shall blow
A rose for others.
If it were not so I would have told thee.
Come, then, say to Me,
My Lord, my Love,
I am content with Thee.

-Amy Carmichael, Rose from Brier
(submitted by Elisabeth A.)

©2010 Young Ladies Christian Fellowship. All Rights Reserved.

©2010 Young Ladies Christian Fellowship. All Rights Reserved.

©2010 Young Ladies Christian Fellowship. All Rights Reserved.

©2010 Young Ladies Christian Fellowship. All Rights Reserved.

Why do we have the desire to be married? The answer goes back to the very beginning, to Genesis 2:18-24:

And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

The reason God gives for creating woman in the first place is to be a helper for man. We are the completer of the man – his “other half.” That’s so much more than a cute phrase! It really gets to the root of why we want to be married. We want to be joined to our other half! It’s not okay to desire marriage. It’s more than okay – it’s good and right and pleasing to God. He is glorified when His creatures fill the places for which He created them. When you long for marriage, part of that desire is the longing to fill your appointed place in the universe. Rejoice that you have that desire!

Have you ever heard or read something along these lines? “You need to just take all the love that you would give a husband and transfer it to Jesus. He is the only one worthy of your love anyway, and He can fulfill all your longings. If you love Him, you don’t even need a husband.”

This kind of thinking is misleading. Yes, Jesus is to have our hearts. Loving Him is the most important thing in our lives! But He’s not your boyfriend or husband. God has chosen to give us several different kinds of love. Our love for God is not the same kind of love that we would give a husband. When God looked on all His creation in the garden of Eden, He said, “It is not good that the man should be alone” (Gen.2:18). Remember that Adam had perfect fellowship with God at this point – there had been no sin. He could communicate with God more fully and completely than any of us have been able to since! And yet God said he was alone. God created mankind with the need for other humans – and more specifically, with a need for a spouse. He didn’t say, “The man is alone so I will bring him another man to be his friend.” It pleased Him to create a woman, and to institute marriage right from the beginning! So to say that we can just love Jesus is obviously missing part of what God intended. Loving Jesus is different than loving a husband.

Substituting Jesus for a “significant other” is not the answer. If we could see Him in all His kingly glory, the idea would be unthinkable.

And I saw heaven opened, and behold a white horse; and he that sat upon him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he doth judge and make war. His eyes were as a flame of fire, and on his head were many crowns; and he had a name written, that no man knew, but he himself. And he was clothed with a vesture dipped in blood: and his name is called The Word of God. And the armies which were in heaven followed him upon white horses, clothed in fine linen, white and clean. And out of his mouth goeth a sharp sword, that with it he should smite the nations: and he shall rule them with a rod of iron: and he treadeth the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God. And he hath on his vesture and on his thigh a name written, KING OF KINGS, AND LORD OF LORDS (Revelation 19:11-16).

Your boyfriend? I don’t think so.

Click to read the rest of the series…  Part One >> Part Three >> Part Four

©2010 Young Ladies Christian Fellowship. All Rights Reserved.

What is wrong? Why the endless struggle? I believe part of the problem stems from our attitude about marriage. Although nearly all of us long for a husband, few of us dare to admit how much. Within our Christian-homeschooling-courtship subculture, honestly expressing the depth of that desire has become somewhat taboo. Instead, singleness has been elevated and marriage regulated to dreams of “someday,” even for those of us in our mid to late twenties. And we single girls have done our part, insisting that we’re capable of being perfectly content and fulfilled right where we are (this may be in part a defense mechanism). “If God wants me to stay here in Dad’s home, and serve my family for the rest of my life, that’s fine with me!” we say glibly – then wonder why that wedding invitation gave us such a pang.

I’d like to offer an alternative to the way we’ve been looking at the whole issue of marriage and singleness, at least from a single’s perspective. Let me say right up front that this radical idea did not originate with me. I’ve run across bits and pieces of it in many diverse places, woven like threads of light through books and articles. What I hope to do in this series of articles is to pull those threads together into a banner of hope for all my struggling single sisters.

Called To Be Single

I’ve heard many girls say, “Well, maybe I’m just called to be single.” When no boyfriend is appearing on the scene (especially once you pass the early twenties), it’s tempting to say that! I’ll admit I’ve said it more than a few times myself. But I think we need to examine that phrase a little more closely – after all, “called” is a word with a lot of meaning to a Christian.

So what do we mean by “called to be single”? When you say that lightly to a girlfriend, are you saying the following? “I believe God has a special calling on my life. I am prepared to live a life of celibacy, never experiencing the emotional and physical intimacy of marriage, never having children, and serving God in an unusual way.” As Boundless writer Alex Chediak has pointed out, that kind of calling is fairly rare. God does not call many of His children to that kind of service. If that is your calling, He will give you assurance of that and the grace you need to fulfill it. But for the vast majority of us, that’s simply not what He’s asking for. Often when He doesn’t move as fast as we think He should, we don’t have the patience for Him to guide us to His will. Instead, we throw up our hands and say, “Fine! I guess I’ll just be single!” – perhaps in doing so, turning aside (even temporarily) from the pursuit of our true calling.

Click to read the rest of the series…  Part Two >> Part Three >> Part Four

©2010 Young Ladies Christian Fellowship. All Rights Reserved.

I have long maintained that, despite the saying, life is like a bed of roses. Perhaps most people only think of sweet blossoms when they think of roses. I know, however–from personal experience–that roses have thorns, too! The wild roses that bloom along our roads in June are my very favorite flowers. Many’s the time I have pulled the pickup over for a few minutes to gather a fragrant armful before continuing home. In the course of the picking, my fingers usually end up full of thorns. But they are worth the trouble. My pricked fingers are quickly dismissed when I bury my nose in my bouquet. And so does life contain both the bitter and the sweet.

When you look at your life, do you see the roses, or do you only see the thorns? Are you enjoying the blessings in each day, and thanking God for them, or do they go unnoticed because you are thinking only of what tomorrow may bring? True, some of us are more optimistic by nature than others, but contentment is a virtue that we each must cultivate, regardless of personality.

Life is good, these days. I have the best husband in the world, the two sweetest boys in the world, prairie flowers, a cow to milk, horses to ride, fresh cool mornings, sunset gold on the hills, little showers and rainbows, a fire in the stove, a song to sing, a piano to play, and over and above and through and in all the sure knowledge that God is guiding and keeping and protecting us. He most certainly “giveth us richly all things to enjoy…” (I Tim. 6:17)

Yet how often do I forget all this and get caught up in what is not. How many times, in those days when I was single, did I thank God for the opportunity to be fully focused on pleasing Him? Not many, I’m afraid. Instead, my thoughts tended to be turning ever Ben-ward, wondering how that “unofficial” courtship of ours would ever end, longing for a chance to be together, wishing he’d write me, daydreaming of “happily ever after.” After our marriage, when suddenly my assignment changed, and I now had to focus on pleasing my husband, I looked back on that season with a new appreciation for how good it had been.

Few things steal my joy faster than being over-focused on something I hope will happen “someday.” I miss out on present happiness when I get depressed in a season of waiting for blessings yet to come. As a new bride, I assumed that motherhood would follow on the heels of marriage. Wrong. One month passed, then another, and another, and another… “Why, Lord?” I wondered. I longed for a baby, for the chance to give my husband a child. Every month hope would rise; every month hope was disappointed, and I would crash into the abyss of sadness–again.

The baby came, at last, and then I wished for time alone with my husband! Do you see what happened? I had a good thing, and I missed my chance to savor it to the fullest. And then the opportunity was forever past. When I look back on our “honeymoon” year, the first thing I remember is being depressed over not having a baby. I should have been focused on delighting in my new role as wife to the man I loved, and keeper of the home of my dreams. I should have been thanking God for granting me the desires of my heart, and quietly trusting that He would give us a child in His time. I should have been content…

No matter how good life is, I can miss the roses for the thorns if I am discontent. Like the dog carrying his bone across the creek, I drop the treasures of today when I snatch at the mirage of “tomorrow,” and they are forever gone. Like a cow reaching through the barb-wire fence to munch on ditch grass, I overlook the goodness right in front of my nose.

Few things I have seen bespeak contentment and quiet trust to me like the sight of a herd of cattle grazing peacefully in a pasture. They take no thought for the morrow. They do not fret over yesterday’s mishaps. They harbor no worries. They simply take what is given them by the Creator’s hand. And perhaps, in the acceptance of the gift lies the gratitude for it.

How about you? What season of life are you supposed to be enjoying right now? What good thing has your Saviour set before you? Are you single, at home with your family? Treasure the time you have to build relationships with your siblings, and set them a good example to follow. Are you courting? Savor every minute of it–you will not pass this way again. Do you have young children? Delight in your role as their mother; pour out your life gladly for their nurture. Wherever you find yourself,“be content with such things as ye have…” (Heb. 13:5)

When life seems all thorns, just keep looking; you’re sure to find a bud sooner or later. Every day, remember that you are the most blessed woman alive, and wholeheartedly thank the Giver of such goodness as our God has bestowed upon you. The grass is always greener when we look at life through grateful eyes.

- by Mrs. Ruth Wiechmann

©2010 Young Ladies Christian Fellowship. All Rights Reserved.

God’s gifts are richly varied. How insufferably dull it would be if they were not! He equipped each of us accordingly, and woe to us if we spend our time fruitlessly wishing we were eyes when we were made hands.

©2010 Young Ladies Christian Fellowship. All Rights Reserved.