quietly, consistently living and loving

an interview with Chantel

How did you first hear about YLCF?  How did you “meet” the other YLCF team members and become one yourself?  I have searched my brain high and low, but honestly, I don’t remember for sure exactly when I first heard about YLCF, or who told me about it originally. I do remember reading some of the first blog posts, as the journal was fading from print to type, and thinking that I had found something good, but was not a regular reader for at least a year.

Natalie and I met somewhat randomly online and became good friends. I didn’t realize until we had been in touch for quite a while that she was a part of YLCF. Gretchen married into the family that was neighbors to my family when I was small; her mother-in-law was the one who taught my mother a lot about homeschooling. She and I met in person when my mom and I happened to drive by on a long road trip — It was a very fun, random way to meet a girl who I am honored to call my friend today. Ashleigh, Danielle, Jessica and I met on LJ over the years that I’ve journaled there. Ashleigh came to meet me (she was my first online friend that I met in real life) in Colorado one year and is every bit as amazing and sweet as her writing suggests.  Danielle is a kindred spirit and she kindly let me scribble a few words now and then for a magazine she printed (and I loved) some time ago. She was also the first person I called internationally and I’m not sure if we laughed or talked but it was fun! I haven’t met Jess yet “in real life”, but hope that one day our paths will cross outside of the internet. Elisabeth Allen has been a sweet friend and pen pal for some time; I am blessed to have her as my friend. Elisabeth A. always encourages me when we manage to catch each other on chat, and we are dreaming up the adventure it will be when I finally get a chance to visit her in Israel! Jeannie and I met through being team writers on YLCF, and Katie and Jennifer are two wonderful ladies I look forward to knowing and calling my friends!

Natalie was the one who originally asked me to write for YLCF, and I felt so small, so afraid of the responsibility and of my own lack of skill that I almost said no. But God had other plans, and though I still feel small, I am incredibly thankful and honored to be a part of this group and to share my heart with so many amazing sisters around the world.

When and how did you come to know Jesus?  Knowing Jesus is the desire of my life. It is a growing process and a journey in which I know I have many more miles to go, but I was young when I started loving Jesus. I was too young to remember my first thoughts about Him, but I know I was probably four years old when I remember sitting on my favorite rock and repeating my memory verse of John 3:16 to myself and thinking of what it meant. I knew then that I wanted to know Jesus, and as I grew older the more I wanted to know Him, to be like Him and to honor Him with my life. I was ten when I was suddenly struck full force by the story of the crucifixion and what it meant to me, personally, as a sinner, and knelt down and committed my life to Christ. Since then, I have struggled as much as anyone, and fallen in ways I am not proud of. And yet, my heart’s desire has not changed. I want to be like Jesus. I want to know Him. Not just about Him, but who He is, and who He wants me to be.

What is your family (faith) background? If they are believers, how do you encourage each other? If not, how do you handle the faith issue?  I am incredibly blessed with a family who loves the Lord and with parents who sought to raise my siblings and I to understand practical Christianity, and how to love others, unconditionally. Their influence, in spite of their own struggles, has encouraged me many times to never give up. Their prayers have no doubt helped me to be who I am today and I am grateful. I married a man who has parents who love us and pray for us, and this too is a wonderful blessing. The only shadow in my heart is our siblings who have chosen, at least at this time, to walk away from God. More than anything, I want all of us to be saved, and I cannot imagine Heaven with a single one missing. Yet I believe in the power of Love. I pray that one day, we will be a united family once more.

What is your approach to sharing your faith with nonbelievers?  I want to be a sermon in shoes. It matters less what I say, what I write, than how I live. I believe that there is little as powerful to influence a non-believer as quietly, consistently living my life according to my convictions, and to love, when it doesn’t make sense to love. So I try to live, and love and pray, and to never be too ashamed of who I am in Christ to speak or be silent as He so often quietly impresses my heart.

What are your favorite recipes? Do you have a signature dish that you love to make?  Scott and I are vegetarians, and so sometimes it is the fact that my food is vegan (well, whatever you call vegans who use honey?) is the signature that most people remember. I suppose if you were to go by what I’ve been asked to make over and over, it would be vegan Irish stew or the baked “(cashew) cheesy” pasta dish that I put bread crumbs on. Personally, I love variety! I grew up with a mom who cooked amazing meals out of simple foods and who rarely followed a recipe. Cookbooks were inspirational resources but never set-in-stone guides. While I don’t think I’ll ever be as good as she is, I tend to not follow recipes exactly and to make things up as I go, and I like to try new things. I try to cook well-balanced meals and love coming up with something healthy, tasty and appealing. Now that I am working, variety has taken some cuts, but I still try to make sure we always have a rainbow of colors in our meals. We love just about any fruit or vegetable!

Do you have any cross-cultural experience? If so, how has it changed your life?  I have never been anywhere outside of the US or Canada. Yet, I was privileged to spend a few months working with the children on a Native Reservation in one of the western states. It was an experience I will never forget. Many of the children we worked with came from very troubled homes, and were unruly and hard to manage. Many of them never heard the name of Jesus except as a curse word spoken in anger. Few of them knew how to pray, and all of them needed love. It broke my heart to see some of the lives they were forced to live, and to hear them ask who Jesus was…while they lived in my very own country. It was exhausting, emotionally and mentally, at times to deal with so many very needy young children, but it showed me how strong love is. It strengthened a passion in my heart to touch the lives of little ones, and gave me even more patience for people who seem so very unlovable, because I had a glimpse at what lies behind the mask that they wear, and at the broken hearts that need desperately someone to care enough to reach out and touch them. I cried when I left, and carry in my heart the faces and the names of half a dozen or more children and parents who I still pray for, and still love, even if I never see them again.

What’s your favorite book you’re reading right now (or read this year)?  I really got a lot out of Nick Vujicic’s book, Life Without Limits, when I read it this spring. It challenged me, and reminded me to never give up on living my one life well.

What books remain your favorite over the years?  I think it would have to be a book called The Desire of Ages that talks about Jesus’ life and ministry on this earth. When I read about Jesus, my heart is humbled by the way He loved so much. I want to love like that too. That book has helped me keep my perspective fresh when life clamors and feels so busy that I almost forget what is really important.

Other books that have impacted my life in big ways are Pilgrim’s Progress and Hind’s Feet on High Places. I read those time and time again and always, always find reminders of just what I need for the season I am in. In fact, I think it is time to pull them off the shelf again…

What is your most-remembered, favorite childhood story/book?  I grew up hearing Sam Campbell’s Nature Series. I have the best memories of my siblings and I curling up with a pile of blankets around Dad on the couch while he read to us about Loony Coon or The Seven Secrets of Somewhere Lake. I already loved animals, but I think those books inspired me to learn more about wildlife and nature than before. I wanted to be a naturalist and take care of wild animals too, and study plants when I grew up. While I have rescued quite a few wild birds and animals over the years, I am most definitely not a naturalist, but I still secretly dream of doing that one day.

I also grew up hearing Pilgrim’s Progress over and over again, and it impacted my life in so many ways that I often think of growing up when I think of Pilgrim’s Progress.

How many siblings do you have, and where do you fall in the birth order?  As the middle child of three, I am the filling of the sandwich. I always liked being the middle child — it suited my quiet personality fairly well because I was rarely the center of attention and could think and watch from the sidelines!

As we have grown up, our family has grown too. I now count more than 11 siblings and two nephews and one niece, so far! I love each of my siblings and siblings-in-law, and feel like I am one blessed girl to have so many friends in my family.

What’s your preferred form of exercise?  I love walking! If I have a companion (Scott is my favorite walking partner!), I could walk for miles and miles, I think, and only turn in because of the cold. It is slow enough to notice all the details around me, and yet I can still walk briskly and enjoy the benefits of good exercise.

If someone met you in person, what’s one thing they’d learn about you that your online friends might not know?  I really am very shy and feel all awkward inside. Writing is easier than talking sometimes, and it takes a lot of courage (more than you would probably guess!) for me to walk up to a stranger and introduce myself. And I am often pretty clumsy, which is often very embarrassing! Oh, and I blush a lot when I talk, for no apparent reason. *sigh*

If you could vacation anywhere, where would it be?  There are hundreds of places that I would love to see and experience. I have never been to Europe, or South America…or anywhere, but I have traveled quite a bit within the states and some of the provinces. Right now, I’d love to go to the Florida Keys or return once more to Virginia’s Colonial Williamsburg to see it all dressed in holiday regalia.

What is your favorite pair of shoes?  I think I’m actually more of a barefoot girl and care little about shoes in general. My most favorite thing to wear is my Chaco Hipthong sandals. I put them on the first chance I get in the spring and don’t take them off until my toes are just too cold to be happy in the fall. If I had my way, they would be the only shoes I’d ever wear!

Are you a morning person or a night owl or neither?  I’m a morning person. I need a good night’s rest to feel my best, but there is nothing quite so wonderful as waking up before the first birds begin to sing, watching the sun’s first glints on the sky, and having time to read in the quietness and get a good start on the housework before evening comes and all I want to do is relax.

Your favorite spot in nature?  I have always had a special spot in each of the places that I lived that was my personal retreat where I would go to think, refocus and to pray and write and to watch the birds and bugs and creatures that I love. My favorite place was a big rock near my parents’ home, surrounded by aspens and with a view of the valley and mountains beyond. When I got married, I found a quiet corner on the trail our landlord had built where butterflies often landed, and where flowers bloomed most of the summer. When we moved to Tennessee, we lived where there were no quiet places for me, until a month ago when we moved into a different rental. It has a back porch that gets flooded by sunshine. It is facing the forest and there are always birds in the nearby branches. I love to sit there and I finally feel at home.

Where you hear or feel God’s presence the most?  Outside, where I can see the sky, and hear the birds and the wind and feel the grass under my feet. There, surrounded by the things that He created, I feel like I am close to Him, and He is close to me. Every bird song reminds me to keep singing, every flower is like a love note, and there is so much to discover and learn that I never grow tired of it. There, I can share my heart and look up to the heavens, and know that He is listening, and that He cares.

If you could travel to any one place, what would it be?  I am not sure I can pick one place, there are so many that I long to see. However, at this moment, I would like to go to the Philippines and see my sister again, meet my brother-in-law and my nephew for the first time. It has been much too long for two sisters to be apart.

If you could describe yourself using a book character, which one would it be?  I am Elinor, holding my feelings in my heart, overly practical, and strong, so that others don’t know the struggles I really am facing. I am Much-Afraid, who longs to have Hind’s feet and to run in High Places, but battles fears every step of the way.

Where are you reading in the Scriptures just now?  I am reading Judges, and learning how He never gives up on us, and never stops trying to teach us to trust Him.

What is your favorite book of the Bible?  I think I have favorite portions, more than a favorite book. Some of those are Psalms 18, Second Peter and all of the stories of Jesus.

What did you like about your education and what do you wish you and/or your parents had done differently?  I loved being homeschooled. I feel that I was able to focus more on learning and less on trying to fit in. I could advance at my own pace, and am grateful to my parents for still structuring my schooling enough to keep me on track, and yet give me flexibility to learn skills and have experiences that others may not have had. While I can’t think of anything my parents could have done better than they did, I wish that I had challenged myself a little more on some of my weaker points (math!) and spent a little more time thinking about future goals instead of letting my senior year of high school sneak up on me and send me into a needless panic about what I was going to do with myself afterwards.

How have “real life women” influenced and encouraged you over the years?  It is the fact that they have been real that has helped me more than anything. It isn’t easy to be open about mistakes and struggles, and yet I have learned a tremendous amount about life and marriage and priorities by the way that they have lived their lives and the way that they have handled difficulties. And, unlike fictional characters, they have prayed for me, listened to me, and supported me through the good times and the bad, and I am grateful that God allowed me the honor of knowing real women who live for Him.

Where do you see yourself in ten years time compared to where you are today?  I am learning that life rarely goes according to plan, though I would like to say that in ten years, Scott and I will have the joy of hearing little feet in our hallways, that we will have our very own little farm, and that I will perhaps actually be a writer, instead of just wanting to be. But I don’t know what these ten years will hold, what life will bring or if any of the little hopes and dreams we have will come about, or if they will change all together. All I know is that ten years from now, I hope I can look back and see a little more clearly the ways that God has been working in my life.  And see that I have grown in my Christian life to be less impatient, less worried about tomorrow, to love more, to be a better wife and companion to the man that God gave me, to have been a true friend to at least one person and most of all, to be more like Jesus.

If you’re married, what are some ways you’ve worked through conflict with your spouse?  When Scott and I had been married just a few weeks, a older gentleman who had been married for over 60 years sat down by us and told us that conflict in marriage was inevitable but that if we could learn to tell the difference between the petty and the important, it would save us a lot of heartache. The way he said it was that in the years ahead, there would be hundreds of things that we’d have to deal with, but that only a few of them would be important. We haven’t been married for a long time, but I can already tell you that he was right.

Scott and I both try to keep this in mind and to be objective rather than emotional when we find something that bothers us or that we do not agree on. I can’t tell you how many times something that felt like the end of the world to me was really petty when I took the time to think about it for a moment! And for the things that are or were real issues that needed to be dealt with, we are learning to listen, to be willing to take time out to deal with emotions if necessary, and to not make something bigger than it is.

I also believe that a couple can never pray too much for God’s help in building and maintaining healthy foundations in their marriage. When conflict arises, I am also learning to pray first and pray more often.