“She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.”
-Proverbs 31:27
The Good Wife’s Guide
reported to be from a 1960’s Home Economics Textbook
(reprinted in The P31 #14)
Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return home from work. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs.
Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed. Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking.
He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be light-hearted and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Gather up school books, toys, papers, etc. and then run a dust cloth over the tables. Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first; remember, his topics of conversation are more important [to him at the moment] than yours. Make the evening his. Try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.
Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit. Don’t greet him with complaints and problems. Don’t complain if he’s late home for dinner. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.
Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange the pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice. Don’t ask him [too many] questions. And remember…
“A wife who has good horse sense never becomes a nag!”
Ohhhh! One of my favorites! I remember when I first read this one too! The “minimize all noise” advice was something that really helped me out when I first read it. It’s amazing what the little things can do!
Much Love!
This is what my mom makes sure to do when my daddy gets home from a long day of work – the main part of the house in uncluttered, the TV is turned off usually, dinner is on the stove, and we kids make ourselves scattered.
Alexxus
This is such good advice, and even though I’ve read it several times before, it’s the kind that is worth reading yet again, just because you might remember something you’ve forgotten… love the picture too
Wow what great encouragement for ahomemaker…..it is so hard sometimes to put your husband first, but I think as a wife we need to realize these things and that they are our job. We should Love to serve our husbands…it is such a privelage. Thanks for the encouragement.
” Let him talk first; remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours”
Is this what you ladies really believe? I understand having a nice dinner for your husband when he comes home, a nice clean home and not nagging, but the rest of the things listed are ridiculious. Why would my husbands topics of conversations be more important than mine?
The way I understand this paragraph is that, to a tired husband home from a long day of work, his thoughts and worries may often be uppermost in his mind at the moment, giving us as wives the opportunity to put Philippians 2:3 into practice, “considering others more important than ourselves.”
It also says “to him at the moment,” which suggests to me that what they really mean is that he may just need a bit to decompress and vent about work before settling in-I know when I get home from work (I’m an unmarried but independently living young woman), I often need to take a moment myself before chatting with my roommate or answering any phone calls, etc.! I’d expect any person, male or female, to need a similar courtesy!
It didn’t say “at the moment” the first time it was posted.
I understand the general intent of this article is for the wife to be the helpmeet and encourage her husband when he gets home. Christian women cannot dispute this biblical role, of course. But as a wife/mother who must also work outside our home, to literally put food on our table, I find myself resenting this a little. It smacks of an ideal that is wonderful, yes, but nowhere near my (or many other women’s) realities. So in our house, we do what works. We both have to take on roles that we’d rather not have to, in order to make it our haven. I still try to do many things to help and encourage my husband, but the reality is, I could do with a helpmeet myself! After working, grocery shopping, cleaning, errands, and baby care, my evenings are then full of trying to spend quality time with my family as well as seeing to the affairs of the house. My husband’s work is done for the day at 5 pm; mine has been ongoing for at least 8 hours by that time, and will continue for at least 4 more every evening.
My schedule is far from being what I’d like it to be, but I must realize and be thankful for the opportunity to help provide for my family in such tumultuous times. Articles like these can sometimes further the guilt that women feel for having to work outside the home; and add another burden to the many others they carry. So I’d have enjoyed a reminder along with this article that recognizes the valuable input that working women provide, and honor their sacrifices as well. I leave my child every day to work, not because I want to, but because I love him enough to help provide his necessities of food and extra medical care. I do not work so that I can have luxuries or to be independent. I leave every day with an ache in my heart, but with enough character and resolve to choose to see the brightest side of the life I have been blessed with.
I agree with that article 110% but in my opinion, it should written differently… I think the “tone” distracts from the wisdom in it. How special does a wife want to feel? Don’t we want our beloved to feel even more special than that? I have to admit that’s a self-serving way of looking at it. I think It takes faith and practice to be selfless, and that’s pretty much what this article is asking us to become. Caring for others more then oneself is a beautiful thing.
I love this! It’s hard to believe that such good advise used to be considered the norm, even in the secular world.
Wise young women will take this “old fashioned” advise to heart… and put it into practice!
I agree that it is about serving, and I like that the article is so thorough. If you wanted to bless someone in as many ways possible, how would you do it? There may be some things universally pleasant to men, but the details will vary.
If you get home later than your husband, his needs might be different since he may have already had time to rest and be ready to chat. You could leave something special for him to find when he gets home. You could freshen up your makeup in the car before coming in. I think the key phrase is “This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs.”
Another part I liked was about trying to understand the burdens he’s been feeling that day. It can take extra patience and care to prevent tiredness from turning into crankiness.
I’m not speaking from a ‘feminist’ viewpoint – just a realistic one: I feel like this article gives the impression that one spouse works harder than the other. The husband’s work day ends at 5 pm; the wife’s (in this article) keeps on going…though she has gotten up presumably at the same time he did and has been working ever since. Both spouses, yes, should pamper each other, should add ‘honey’ to each others’ lives. What I am missing from this article is advice for HUSBANDS on how to coddle their women at the end of the day, too!
I love this!