Redeeming the Time

by Marie Elizabeth Reist,
originally published in the final issue of the YLCF Journal, Fall 2003

  “See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil.” Ephesians 5: 15-16

I first heard of the concept of “redeeming the time” when I read Joshua Harris’ book I Kissed Dating Goodbye. I know many of you have read it, and I urge you to go back and reread the “Redeeming the Time” chapter. I think this is a concept we young people, especially, need to study and put into practice.

“Redeeming the time” means making the most of our present circumstances, whatever they may be. Here, I am mainly talking about the circumstance of singleness, since it is what I am most familiar with. It is especially important for teenage girls: I know from experience that it is very easy to spend a lot of time and energy dreaming about marriage, obsessing about finding the right guy, and making plans for what we hope will be our future life. Some girls have imagined their weddings right down to the very last detail: the colors of the flowers and bridesmaids dresses, what songs will be sung, how they will walk down the aisle and what their dress will look like.  They spend hours poring over bridal magazines and picking out rings. This seems to be inbred with girls. I can remember when I was a child, playing “let’s get married” with my friends, and crying when mom cut my hair because I thought you had to have long hair to get married. But as we mature, we should “put away childish things.” Besides, there is more to marriage then just the wedding ceremony. It’s the days and weeks and years that come after that are the important—and hard!—part.

Being of marriageable age (or near it) can be difficult. Watching friends and acquaintances get married one after another can, if we’re not careful, lead to feelings of discontent, envy, and of being “left out.” In his book, Joshua asks: “Does the fact that I could get married mean that I should make it my priority to find someone?” No. I believe that God will lead us to the right person without any maneuverings on our part. And if we take all the time we could have spent looking for someone and use it for the glory of God, think how much good could be worked in our lives and in that of others!

Joshua’s mother used the term “hustle while you wait” to describe being productive during a lull in the action. That’s part of the work ethic my dad instilled in me: don’t stand around with your hands in your pockets when you could be helping out in some ways. You could call the years which many of us are in now, the years between childhood and true adulthood, as a lull in the action. We have learned many of the important lessons in life, but aren’t out on our own yet. So, what do we do during these years? Run around to all the parties, live it up, sow our wild oats? Or just keep plodding along, waiting for the day when we will finally find the one we’ve “waited for all our lives”? The answer is neither. We should be molding ourselves into the image of the adult God would like us to be.

We should be intolerant of wasted time.  Not that I’m good at this; quite the contrary. I’m one of the best wasters of time you could ever meet! Yet I always feel better at the end of a productive day than one that I loitered away, even if it felt good at the moment.  And you will feel better if you spend your teenage and young adult years getting rid of bad habits, cultivating good ones, building your character, and generally spending time wisely rather than frittering it away on trivial things.

We all have duties that seem unimportant. Yet they should be done well, insignificant as they may seem. Rebekah of the Bible is a prime example. Gregg Harris said in his article, “The Adventure of Current Obligations,” “Rebekah was able to meet God’s divine appointment for her life because she was faithfully carrying out her current obligations.” Her trip to the well was an everyday occurrence. It was mundane, normal, boring. She had drawn up water many times in her life. But when a stranger needed a drink, she was willing and eager to serve; so willing that she also drew water for the camels, although she was not asked. The servant of Abraham probably had quite a few camels with him. I don’t know how much a thirsty camel drinks, but I imagine Rebekah drew up many pitchers of water.  And she was happy to do so, even though it made so much extra work for her. Faithfulness in these small, everyday tasks equips us to handle the big things. And not only does it “make the most of every day”, it also prepares us for marriage and makes us mature physically, mentally, and spiritually. And whether we marry or not, these qualities are necessary in our lives.

We also need to look at our obligations, not as a way to pass the time while waiting for Mr. Right to ride up on his white horse and carry us away (or for a Miss Right to ride away with, in the case of young men!), but as part of God’s divine plan leading us to the next step in our lives. We have obligations as sons and daughters, siblings, and friends that we should be fulfilling. Some people are so caught up in dreaming of the future—or worrying about it—that they neglect these things. We can’t expect the qualities that will make a good spouse and adult to just appear: they must be cultivated. And that should be our focus during these times.

Here are a few practical suggestions on some things to work on.

It is very important that we develop good habits now—and not just brushing your teeth every night!  Some good qualities such as: neatness, diligence, willingness to serve, cheerful attitudes, good devotional habits, good work habits, good nutrition, and the ability to work with other people, among others. Sometimes taking on additional responsibilities can help in these areas.  This past year my mother was gone several times for about two weeks, taking care of her dying mother. That left me, the oldest child and only girl, in charge of almost all the household affairs. It was a crash course in housekeeping! I’d done the various chores at one time or another, but having to do all of them left me with little time for the things I enjoyed. I soon learned how to best use my time so that I got done what needed doing and still was able to fit in some reading. Another thing that is helping me get the problem of procrastination was teaching Sunday School. Since I hate to be unprepared, knowing that each Sunday I will have to be in a room full of five-year-olds is a strong incentive to not wait until the last minute in preparing my material. Sometimes we have to get involved in something that’s just a little beyond us to learn how to deal with it.

Joshua Harris brought out that we should practice intimacy now so that we will be able to communicate well with our spouse and be able to work out problems. Don’t shut out your parents from your life. Talk to them and hear what they have to think. Do things with your family—play games, go on walks. Spend time with your siblings. This is meant especially for us older children in the family: help with the younger ones’ projects, bake cookies together, read to them, or just talk.

Learning how to be a good manager of money is vital.  Much of the trouble in marriages today is related to money. Many end up in divorce—and still they fight about money. (How do you divide it? How much child support and alimony?) Make a budget and stick to it. Learn to save. Learn to discern between needs and wants, between good bargains and bad.

We should also be acquiring practical life skills. For girls, this means cooking, caring for children, and keeping a clean house. Work with your mother on planning menus, shopping for food, and preparing meals. Help out with cleaning the house. Mend socks and sew on buttons, and maybe learn how to make simple garments. If you have a garden, help with the planting, harvesting, and canning/freezing. Young men should learn how to take care of household jobs—and they can even pitch in and wash dishes every now and then!

Whatever your present circumstances, use the time wisely so you will be ready for what God has planned for you.  And know this: we may not see it now, but God does have something wonderful in store for each one of us.  God bless!

At the time of the article’s original publication, Marie was 19 years of age and had graduated from 12 long years of homeschooling. She was “working part time, pursuing many interests and hobbies, and still managing to indulge in copious amounts of reading.”

“Remember, marriage doesn’t automatically make you an adult, nor does it necessarily make you happy–marriage simply makes you married.”

-The One by Ben Young

“We must seek God first, trust Him to provide for us to meet our needs, even if He does not meet every desire. That relationship with God should be so liberating that you feel free to live with or without a man and still enjoy meaning and fulfillment in your life.”

-Finding Mr. Right by Steve Arteburn