God’s Best-Dressed Woman

by Kristy (Smith) Howard
originally printed in the Summer/Fall 2000 YLCF Journal

Recently, while reading the newspaper, I came across an article written by a former fashion designer about the “worst-dressed” women of the year.  The list of women accused of being “fashion frumps” included celebrities such as Cher, Queen Elizabeth, Britney Spears, and a host of names I didn’t recognize.

My first response to the article was, “Wow, it would be embarrassing to be put on that list!”  What woman wants all the world to read that she doesn’t know beans about so-called fashion? But it wasn’t long before my thoughts took another turn. So what if the world labels you as “fashionably challenged” (or whatever lingo they’re using these days)?  What does God say about us, as young women who claim to know, love, and serve Him?

Good question, I thought!  We girls are often caught up in clothing designs and wearing the “right” fashions, but how often do we seriously consider what the Lord finds acceptable, not just in our clothes but in our whole demeanor?  What if Jesus were to make a list of His “Best-Dressed Women”- what criteria would He require?  Would Christ’s priority be make-up, beauty, or clothing?  And, most thought-provoking of all, would I be included on that list??

I believe the Lord has given us a guideline; not just concerning our outward dress, although that is of upmost importance to Christian girls, but also about our spiritual garments. Obviously, the guideline I’m talking about is the Word of God.

I wish to share with you a few “must haves” for every young lady who wishes to be on God’s “Best-Dressed Women” list.  The following is not an exhaustive compilation, but I believe it will give us a lot to strive toward.

And remember: women of the world go to all extremes to adorn themselves with the right fads and fashions.  How much more should we—as daughters of the King—make a conscious and purposeful effort to please our Heavenly Father and abide by His dress code?

The Ornament of a Meek and Quiet Spirit.  The Apostle Peter, in the first book bearing his name, admonishes young women, “[Your] adorning [should] not be outward adorning… but let it be the hidden [person] of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.” (I Pet. 3:3,4 KJV, emphasis added)

“Meekness”, as defined by Webster’s dictionary, is “having a patient, gentle disposition; submissive.”  I feel that Webster’s definition complements Peter’s instructions to young women perfectly.  It is the submissive girl, the gentle and patient girl, who has the greatest value to God.  This is in stark contrast with the glitzy glamour the world calls “valuable”!

The Strength of Noble Character.  “The most precious earthly treasure a girl can have,” states M. Hale in Beautiful Girlhood, “is good character.”  The author goes on to say, “Character is not given to us; we build it ourselves.  Others may furnish the material, may set before us the right standard and ideals, may give us reproof and correction, may guide our actions and mold our thoughts.  But we build our own character.”

What is good character? you might ask.  Again, Beautiful Girlhood offers an excellent response: “She who has ideal character is first of all pure and true, then earnest and sincere, patient and gentle, and more ready to serve than to be served.”

The girl with strength of character, rather than the girl with the most popularity or talent, is held in highest esteem by God.

The Comeliness of Modesty.  The first thing that comes to mind when I think of modesty usually has to do with clothing.  But there is another, often overlooked aspect to this principle—what about modesty of the spirit?  Our clothes, of course, must be modest; but what about our attitudes, our words, our actions, our motives?  Are we bold and brash, or do we display the gentle character of Christ?  Is it possible to adorn ourselves in modest apparel and yet posses a very immodest spirit?  Michael and Judy Philips tell us that it is possible.

In their book, Best Friends For Life, the Philips affirm, “[A girl’s] whole demeanor and carriage contributes either to a modest, discreet, composed image of decorum and humility, or to an immodest attempt to pull every eye toward oneself.”  They continue: “Modesty is one of the seriously overlooked traits of character in our day.  Our culture thinks modesty is a character flaw.  In reality… modesty… reveals a balanced sense of personhood, maturity, and humility.  On the other hand, immodesty… and its unquenchable desire for attention reveals insecurity, self-absorption, and weakness.”

Which attitude does your life—my life—display?  Do we demonstrate a pureness of body and heart?  Is there a confidence in who I am in God; or a frantic need to gain approval and acceptance from those around me?  The comely robe of modesty is a must for every Christian girl.

The Honor of Graciousness.  Proverbs 11:6 tells us that “a gracious woman retaineth honor.”  As young women, we all desire to be treated with respect and honor; to have others regard us with esteem and appreciation for who we are.  Girls, the best way to ensure the respect of those around you is to conduct yourself in such a way that you deserve it!

Too often young women turn to fashion, make-up, and hair styles to make them feel and look “grown up.”  We can spend all our time perfecting the shape of our nails and eyebrows and totally miss the truest mark of womanhood, which is a state of heart, not something we smear on our face or stick in our hair.  A girl’s hands may be slender and white, but are they quick to help with chores around the home?  A young woman may have delicately shaped lips, but do the words that come out of them edify, or tear down those around her?  Attractive eyes may be a sought after asset, but do our eyes regard others with criticism or with love?

I’m talking about getting past the facade, to the very heart of who you and I really are in the deepest chambers of our beings.  Outward charm and favor are deceitful, the writer of Proverbs tells us, and only the woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.  Use your God-given desire for femininity to allow the Holy Spirit to mold you into God’s shape of womanhood.  True femininity goes far beyond clothes or finely shaped figures—it is found in the heart of graciousness toward others; a heart that desires to love and please God above all else.  Do we wish to be women whose conduct commands true respect from others?  Then we must clothe ourselves with the mantle of graciousness.

The Perfection of Selflessness.  “The great foe of [young womanhood],” Beautiful Girlhood warns us, “is selfishness, and the girl who comes to the most perfect womanhood learns soon to fight selfishness with all her might.”

Unfortunately, it comes very easy for us humans to be selfish.  It’s in our nature, and we must constantly be on guard against it.  Self-centeredness will rob any woman or girl from allowing Christ’s beauty to shine through her life.

The best place to learn sacrificial giving is not in the fanciful dreams of marriage or motherhood, where we envision ourselves as the “perfect” wife and mother.  We are in the best classroom for learning lasting character right in our home, with our siblings and parents.  I agree that it seems much more “romantic” to spend your energies dreaming of all the self-sacrificing acts of love you’ll perform for your husband someday, but those sort of fantasies do nothing to improve character.  In fact, they distract from the important lessons we should be learning now.  You and I will be no better a wife or mother than we are a sister or daughter.

While we are young, we must learn to give, to do without those things we think so necessary for our comfort.  If our focus is on our own happiness, then we know that we need our vision readjusted.  Ask the Lord to give you a servant’s heart.  An attitude of selflessness will be a perfect addition to any young woman’s spiritual “wardrobe.”

As I said earlier, this is certainly not an exhaustive list.  There are hundreds of qualities we need to develop in our lives in order to be more like Christ!  But I hope that these five specific areas have given you something to work toward; I know I have a lot of striving to do!

In closing, let me share with you a very familiar passage from Proverbs 31.  Note carefully the description of the Virtuous Woman in these verses:

“Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.  She openeth her mouth with wisdom: and in her tongue is the law of kindness… Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.  Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.” 

(Proverbs 31: 25, 26, 28-30)

As each of us grows older and time brings added maturity and responsibility, may we all keep in mind Whose daughters we are, and Whom we seek to please.  The world has its own low set of standards and values; we don’t measure ourselves by those.  We have a higher calling to strive toward—the mark and the prize of Christ Jesus.  (See Phil. 3:14)

As Christ works in and through us, may we grow to become young women of virtue, women whom God would be pleased to have on His “best-dressed” list.

Back in the year 2000, Kristy Smith (pictured at left) was a 19-year-old home school graduate, attending Ozark Bible Institute in Missouri. Her family lived in a rural town in Texas. She and her mother published a newsletter—Chosen Generation.

Now, Mrs. Kristy Howard says, “I’m 30 yrs old; been married to my preacher boy, Jeremy, for 9+ years.  I’m a fledgling homeschooling mama (two daughters and two sons — pictured at right), a whole foods fanatic, and most recently, a country-girl transplanted in Forth Worth, Texas.  I love reading and writing about health, home education, natural birth, homemaking, and Biblical womanhood.”

Visit Kristy’s blog at www.LittleNaturalCottage.com.