“From My Point of View” was a favorite column in first The P31 and then the YLCF Journal. In the style of New Attitude’s “Interaction” we exchanged opinions on everything from romance novels to dancing. The opinions were as varied as our readers. But each one’s point of view gave us a perspective to consider as we defined our beliefs, formed our convictions.
For the May/June 1998 P31 we asked readers, “What do you think of purity/chastity/courtship rings? Do you wear a special ring to symbolize your commitment to purity? If so, we’d love to hear your testimony of how you got your ring, and what it means to you!”
Read their responses below, then perhaps you’d like to add your story in the comments. Do/did you wear a purity ring? Will you pass on the tradition to your daughters?
I have a purity ring, and it is a very special thing to me. My dad gave it to me on my 13thbirthday. It’s not fancy, so it’s not like a piece of jewelry to attract attention; it’s a simple black hills gold band with two leaves on it. I swim, sleep, shower, and do everything else while wearing my ring.
My ring symbolizes my purity, and my commitment to stay sexually pure until marriage. I wear it on my “wedding ring” finger, and there it will remain until an engagement or wedding ring replaces it. Then I might put it on my pinkie, if it fits.
Not only does it symbolize my purity but it is one of the most special things I own. It is a gift from my dad, given with lots of love to a special daughter. When my older sister got her purity ring a few years before I got mine, that was before I really understood what the ring stands for, and I wanted one simply because I could see that it was a very special thing, which it is. I treasure my purity ring with all of my heart.
-B., age 14
My father gave me a promise ring for my 16th birthday. He gave it to me right before we went into the restaurant for my first “date” (and the only date I will have until I am married). I wear it in place of the wedding ring that will someday be there (Lord willing), as a symbol of my commitment to purity. It also represents my submission to my father, which will one day be replaced by submission to my husband. It will remain on my hand until my wedding day.
Because of Christ, R.
I do not have a purity ring, although I have heard of girls owning them from various places. If purity rings serve to remind us of our promise before God and men, then I suppose they can be a very good and special gift. Probably I will never own one, but I wouldn’t mind. 
What a nice way to remind us of the importance of purity, which has sadly been degraded and lost in our modern day!
B.
Although I personally do not own a purity ring, and actually have not yet decided if I want to get one, I would simply like to say that deciding to or not to get what I consider an outward symbol of one’s commitment to chastity is totally up to the individual (and her parents, in many cases). I have already made the commitment, inside myself, to abstinence before marriage. I know a girl who’s 18 and now engaged, who never had a ring but her commitment remained strong. There are others I know, who like to have something to hold up and show people that they have made a commitment—perhaps it seems more unbreakable that way.
To tell you the truth, since I’m not used to wearing much jewelry at all, and have very rarely worn a ring in my life, a purity ring could be an inconvenience to me. Of course, there are girls who use bracelets or necklaces in place of rings, which is fine.
To sum it up, I think the choice is up to each girl. The only danger I can think of to NOT having a ring (or whatever) is that someone might possibly be able to talk you out of your decision more easily. I’m not about to compromise my convictions (any of them!), but if I ever feel the need to “renew my commitment” I would certainly consider a purity/chastity/courtship ring!
Sincerely, A., age 15
I think purity rings are a great idea, but I don’t have one yet, ’cause I’m actually holding out for a purity car! Vrrooom! (I mean Pur-i-teeee!)
See, there’s more than one of us doing that. Someone else you may have heard of doing the same thing is Josh Harris. (Josh told us about this great idea at his conference. He said, “Parents are buying girls purity rings as a sign they will remain sexually pure until marriage. I’m actually holding out for a purity car—a red sports car convertible. Every time I threw that baby into third gear, it would be like, ‘Pur-i-teeee.’” )
-S., age 14
P.S. I want a jet-black convertible sports car.
I think purity rings are a good reminder and witness. I do not own a ring that was purchased for that specific reason, but my parents gave me a special ring for my 12th birthday. It is a sterling silver ring with “JESUS” inscribed on it. I’ve worn it since I was 12, getting it made bigger and now I need it smaller again.
To me, it’s a reminder of Jesus and my promise to Him that I will remain sexually pure until marriage. I encourage those of you who do not own a purity ring to get one.
In Him, S., age 15
I don’t have a purity ring (yet), but I wanted to let you know that your “From My Point of View” column has prompted me to get one! My parents and I have been looking for a ring, and I am very excited about it. To me it’s like the signet rings in the Bible: they were given to seal a contract or commitment between the king and another person. Well, a purity ring is a tangible reminder of the agreement we have made with God (the King!), and also our father and mother. It is an outward indication of an inward commitment; a promise that we have made and that we intend to keep.
-K.; age 17
Words of Wisdom from Elisabeth Elliot
A letter from Mildred Scott in Missouri: “Dear Elisabeth…I bought both my twelve-year-old granddaughter and my fourteen-year-old grandson a chastity ring after they had expressed their desire to have one. I made sure that they both understood what they were promising by wearing these rings. Also, I solicited and received a promise from both of them that they would continue to wear these rings until they get married, even if their friends make fun of them for wearing them.”
I’m so glad to hear about those chastity rings. I am very thankful for the fact that it does appear to me that there is a real, sort of a groundswell, of desire for sexual purity. I think there’s a generation of young people out there who are beginning to realize how deeply they have been confused by the behavior of their parents, and perhaps even of their grandparents. There are several generations now, since the things that happened in the 1960’s when virtually everything that really mattered seemed to be swept off the board.
Those chastity rings [are] just one more little way of encouraging young people to wait for the right person at the right time. That has got to be your marriage partner. There is no place in Scripture whatsoever for any kind of sexual activity outside of marriage.
Mildred says, “Now I realize that their wearing of these rings does not guarantee that they will keep these promises, but I firmly believe that it will act as a deterrent when they are tempted to commit any immoral act.”
-from Elisabeth Elliot’s “Gateway to Joy” website
Copyright © 1998 Good News Broadcasting Association, Inc. (Back to the Bible), Lincoln, Nebraska, USA.
Used by permission in The P31 #14. All rights reserved.
That is a very neat article! (Thanks for sharing) I especially was encouraged to think of a purity as K age 17 mentioned it, as a signet ring, what a neat thought.
I have a purity ring also. My Dad gave it to me for my 14th birthday. When I was younger a girl I know was 14 and received one, and I thought that is what I want for my 14th birthday. God taught me and gave me convictions in the area of purity and staying pure physically, emotionally, and spiritually, around that time. I now wear the ring on my right hand ring finger because I don’t want to take it off when I get engaged/married (if that is God’s will), but instead want to be continually reminded that even in marriage I also need to remain pure (to my then husband and to God.)
A.K.
Our family never did purity rings and I don’t have one (am single and 33 years old). I feel like if I can’t keep a promise without a piece of jewelry on my finger, then I have some serious character issues! LOL
However, I do think they can be a neat idea to use as a witness to others of the importance of purity and keeping your promises. I wear jewelry so often that I doubt if anyone would even notice if I wore a purity ring, or ask me about it though.
I do think that an outward appearance can say a lot about your commitment to purity. Not only wearing a purity ring, but also wearing beautiful feminine clothing that is modest says, “I am a woman who wants to have sex with her husband some day – but not with anyone else!”
I don’t have an official “purity ring.” But, when I was 12 my mom gave me a simple thin gold band with my birthstone in it. I started wearing it, attaching no importance to it particularly. And I know my mom didn’t give it to me with a “purity ring intention” attached. However, over the years, it began to symbolize my commitment to God and my family. I have worn it everyday for 10 years, virginity intact. I don’t wear it on my left hand- just to be sure no one confuses it as a promise ring to another person
I am 22 now and still waiting for the one God has for me. I’m thankful for this time to get closer to God and learn more about myself- I’ve learned that I’m a complicated girl! haha 
But to sum it up, my self proclaimed purity ring will remain in place until I am married. So ,teenage girls keep faith on your pursuit for purity! In God’s will is the safest place to be 
“I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.” Song of Solomon 8:4 ESV
I just had to laugh at the purity sports car sort of idea! the picture that came into my head had me giggling
I love the idea of a purity ring but I’ve never had one nor do I necessarily “want” one. It’s a wonderful thought and idea but not entirely necessary either. Though I can see that if a girl were to look down and see it constantly, it would be a constant reminder of her “promise”.
I have worn one since I was in high school (still have my True Love Waits commitment card in my wallet from 7th grade!), I have gotten different ones a couple of times as one was lost and another got too big when I lost a good deal of weight. I used to have a couple different rings that I wore for various reasons, so I left the purity one on my left ring finger, but now that it’s the only one I wear, I wear it on my right ring finger. The reason for this is that I am single, and I discovered via some good, Godly guy friends in my life that if men, even Christian men, see a ring on the left hand, they won’t try to get a good look it, they will just assuming it is a symbol that a young lady is “taken.” Since this is not the case, I wear it where it won’t cause confusion!
I recieved my purity ring on my 13th birthday from my parents. It’s a simple silver band with the words “Today, I promise I will wait agreeing to stay pure because I know God loves me and his blessing is in store” etched into it. I, like many others, wear my ring on my ring finger. Even though it’s a “purity ring” I think of it more like a symbol of love. This ring signifies my very special relationship with my Father in Heaven.
I don’t have a purity ring, nor any desire for one (nor do I have a charity ring, nor a temperance ring, nor a faithfulness headband, nor a gentleness necklet – I’m more of an internal ‘armour of light’ kind of girl, and promise rings aren’t really a thing in my country, although I love to see how many young women here have such beautiful family stories to go with their accoutrements) but I confess to curiosity: do your brothers have purity rings also? Now that men often wear wedding rings and given that self-control can be difficult for anyone under the right (or wrong!) circumstances, I’d love to think that the same sort of helpful memory tokens are encouraging young men to be faithful young gentlemen, as well as my dear sisters to be faithful young women.
Hi Angharad!
That is a really great question! I personally know guys at my church who wear purity rings. And they are some really great guys!
Thanks so much for your reply Jillian! It’s great to hear :0)
I second Jillian’s comment. I don’t believe it is quite as common for a young man to wear purity rings, but I have seen and known several young men who have chosen a symbol to keep or wear to remind them to keep their hearts and lives pure as well.