Archive | February, 2011

“I Understand Now”

“I think maybe I understand it now,” she whispered.” When it happened, I thought I’d lost everything I cared about. My dreams… my heart…was shattered into too many pieces to count, and I dared not dream again. And the painful days and nights that followed seemed so meaningless and hard then. But now…maybe now I understand a little bit of what it means that all things are beautiful in Your time.”

And here she paused, for though time and God can heal the most broken of hearts, sometimes there will still be little scars left to remind of the wounds that were there — and she was thinking of these little scars now…

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His Future Wife

It catches me out of the blue sometimes – the thought that I’m his future wife.

The “he” in question … ? I don’t know him yet. Whoever he is, he’s my future husband – and I like that idea.

But if he’s my future husband, I’m his future wife … and I wonder what sort of wife he’s dreaming of and praying for today! I don’t know, but I do know I want to be a good wife. The Bible says that “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord”…

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our plans must fail

“Sometimes our plans must fail so God’s plans for us may succeed.”

I’ve thought of this often over the years, and even with tears in my eyes and aches in my heart I’ve whispered it as I let go of the things I thought mattered most.

I’ve repeated it, knowing that His plans are always the best, and that His time is the only perfect time…

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clinging…

I need something to grab on to, something to steady me.

A goal to focus on, a plan to live by.

I want just the right parenting philosophy that will help me have perfect children.

I need the right schedule to help me organize my day and make me productive.

I long for perfect fellowship with like-minded families living nearby.

I look around so desperately for something to cling to.

But I already know the truth.

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Watering Love

Just over two years ago, Scott and I hiked to a beautiful waterfall here in Tennessee and sat up together under the trees — talking, soaking up the view, and enjoying being together again at long last. It was then that Scott put into words what our hearts had been saying for a while, and…

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A Daisy in the Darkness

Usually, I like roses. The sparkling purity of a white rose is lovely. Red roses remind me of sappy sweet romances. I find blue roses interesting. Yellow roses make me smile. And my friends know that peach roses are my favorite flower in all the world.

So when I saw the daisy planted by a neighbor’s mailbox, I almost walked right by it.

But then, I stopped…

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a journey in the valley of brokenness

An old journal and a seat among the trees — these were a refuge for a heart that felt broken beyond repair, when the journey seemed too long and too difficult. Into those pages were poured all the pain and loneliness, the wind gently drying the tears that only the blue sky, the tall trees, and God knew fell so often. And yet, in those pages there was also written the records of the work of the Master Physician, the One Who heals heart break.

These words are some of the mileposts, some small windows into that journey in the valley of brokenness. It is my journey, but perhaps it is yours, too…

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Love is a Miracle

Grey misty wetness. Evergreen treetops. The hint of a salt air and the distant roar of the ocean. My little sister’s tiny bump tummy. Graceful curves of arms intertwined. Love is a miracle. “It makes you relaxed.”

The livable part of their house is barely big enough to fit in the crib they will need in less than 6 months. Only married long enough for all the hanging pictures to be wedding pictures.

Still, reflective lake. Love never fails.

I remember the tulle, light-edged afternoon. It wasn’t that long ago. All the girls were there, just like old times. Black heels, green ribbon, the solo and the rush of walking down the aisle. Today was the day.

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Dear Single Sisters…

To all the amazing single or childless Christian women in my life:

You know who you are.

I love you and want to encourage you.

Keep on trusting in Him who gave His life for you with an undying, passionate love.

He has you just where He intends you to be.

He loves you perfectly–so much that He bought you with His own precious blood.

He chose you for Him.

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the heart that was broken

I had never wanted to know what it was to have a broken heart. I had tried to do things differently from most of the world, to protect myself and my heart from needless pain. But here I was, and it was real.

When I saw that there was someone else that made him smile, the realization that I didn’t light up his world brought the painful truth home. I knew, then, that I could never make him happy the way that I wanted to, the way that it should have been. Knowing that perhaps “he and I, together” wasn’t meant to be after all weighed on my heart like so many heavy bricks, crushing out the spark of joy that once had lit up my world.

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