Comments on: Marriage Is Not My Highest Calling Part Two http://ylcf.org/2009/09/marriage-is-not-my-highest-calling-part-two/ YLCF Thu, 09 Feb 2012 20:06:26 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Sarah http://ylcf.org/2009/09/marriage-is-not-my-highest-calling-part-two/#comment-11200 Sarah Thu, 08 Apr 2010 17:54:37 +0000 http://ylcf.org/?p=4281#comment-11200 But I've grown to realize something the stay-at-home daughter movement has missed. We aren't preparing for life; we are living it right now. In this season, I'm supposed to be at college. In another season, I may be writing a book. Or getting my masters degree. Or getting married and raising children. Life doesn't start at the altar of your marriage vows, but at the altar of your daily surrender of your life to the Lord. Pursuing Jesus with your life is the highest calling. But I’ve grown to realize something the stay-at-home daughter movement has missed. We aren’t preparing for life; we are living it right now.
In this season, I’m supposed to be at college. In another season, I may be writing a book. Or getting my masters degree. Or getting married and raising children.
Life doesn’t start at the altar of your marriage vows, but at the altar of your daily surrender of your life to the Lord.
Pursuing Jesus with your life is the highest calling.

]]> By: Sarah http://ylcf.org/2009/09/marriage-is-not-my-highest-calling-part-two/#comment-11199 Sarah Thu, 08 Apr 2010 17:52:29 +0000 http://ylcf.org/?p=4281#comment-11199 I grew up respecting marriage and child-raising so highly, I assumed that was the only proper life for a woman of God. Even now, as a sophomore in college, I often wonder if studying to be a teacher as I am is merely a waste of time. What if I never technically use my education? I grew up respecting marriage and child-raising so highly, I assumed that was the only proper life for a woman of God. Even now, as a sophomore in college, I often wonder if studying to be a teacher as I am is merely a waste of time. What if I never technically use my education?

]]> By: Heather http://ylcf.org/2009/09/marriage-is-not-my-highest-calling-part-two/#comment-10520 Heather Tue, 29 Dec 2009 22:26:05 +0000 http://ylcf.org/?p=4281#comment-10520 Thank you so much for this article. I have had my eyes opened to the idol I had made of marriage and motherhood. That is what I have been hoping and planning for my whole life. I read all the books about courtship and modesty and figured that if I was the right kind of girl, God was obligated to give me the husband and ministry I wanted, instead of submitting my future to Christ's Lordship. Recently I ended the only relationship I have ever been in because I was trying to "make it work" - to make myself fit with this young man in every way, simply because I was attracted to him, admired his godly character, and essentially wanted to use him to fulfill my dreams of romance, marriage, and the ministry of motherhood. I wanted to prove to him and to God that I was worthy of favor and approval. But I could never measure up to the standard I set for myself. I became depressed and exhausted trying to meet expectations both real and imaginary and felt like a total failure as a "girlfriend" (or whatever you call it - a "courtee?") and a Christian. I began to doubt my salvation, the reality of the Christian faith, everything! If it were not for Him I would have left the faith! The Lord has had to remind me that that is the whole point! We ARE total failures! We cannot follow Jesus in His life of sacrifice and self-denial to the point that the Bible demands. If it was up to our hard work and perfection, none of us would be saved. How thankful I am for the Cross of Christ, for His imputed righteousness! That He accepts me, and then changes me Himself, accepting my weak and faltering efforts for Christ's sake! So now I am trying to develop a "life plan" that does not require marriage. In other words, instead of doing short-term activities to serve the Lord UNTIL marriage comes along, I want to develop long-term goals for how I can spend my LIFE in His service, even if marriage never comes. This is an impossible task by myself. The Lord has to help me root out this idol from my life. Not that I would be opposed to marriage if the Lord was clearly bringing that into my life, but that my life would not be centered around that as the only way I am willing to serve the Lord with my life. Thank you so much for this article. I have had my eyes opened to the idol I had made of marriage and motherhood. That is what I have been hoping and planning for my whole life. I read all the books about courtship and modesty and figured that if I was the right kind of girl, God was obligated to give me the husband and ministry I wanted, instead of submitting my future to Christ’s Lordship.

Recently I ended the only relationship I have ever been in because I was trying to “make it work” – to make myself fit with this young man in every way, simply because I was attracted to him, admired his godly character, and essentially wanted to use him to fulfill my dreams of romance, marriage, and the ministry of motherhood. I wanted to prove to him and to God that I was worthy of favor and approval. But I could never measure up to the standard I set for myself. I became depressed and exhausted trying to meet expectations both real and imaginary and felt like a total failure as a “girlfriend” (or whatever you call it – a “courtee?”) and a Christian. I began to doubt my salvation, the reality of the Christian faith, everything! If it were not for Him I would have left the faith!

The Lord has had to remind me that that is the whole point! We ARE total failures! We cannot follow Jesus in His life of sacrifice and self-denial to the point that the Bible demands. If it was up to our hard work and perfection, none of us would be saved. How thankful I am for the Cross of Christ, for His imputed righteousness! That He accepts me, and then changes me Himself, accepting my weak and faltering efforts for Christ’s sake!

So now I am trying to develop a “life plan” that does not require marriage. In other words, instead of doing short-term activities to serve the Lord UNTIL marriage comes along, I want to develop long-term goals for how I can spend my LIFE in His service, even if marriage never comes. This is an impossible task by myself. The Lord has to help me root out this idol from my life. Not that I would be opposed to marriage if the Lord was clearly bringing that into my life, but that my life would not be centered around that as the only way I am willing to serve the Lord with my life.

]]> By: Jessica http://ylcf.org/2009/09/marriage-is-not-my-highest-calling-part-two/#comment-10500 Jessica Tue, 22 Dec 2009 00:00:41 +0000 http://ylcf.org/?p=4281#comment-10500 Hi Ashleigh, I really like your post, but what about those girls who are single like me who don't seem to know what they are supposed to be doing with their 'single' time? I honestly thought I would have been married by now. In fact, what if I told you that I knew who my future husband is, but yet, he doesn't know it, or is being stubborn about it? I would have to politely disagree with you about God not calling people to be married, because I was. Yet, I believe I missed my chances. I won't go into detail, but perhaps you could provide an answer to this question: "if you know that beyond any shadow of a doubt you were supposed to marry a certain person, and he lives in another state, and you had the chance to get to know him at college, but didn't, how on earth, are you supposed to know whether God will ever bring you together, like He told you?" It's a honest and agonizing question. Also, if you are in a church that is full of married people, and there's not many ministries to get involved in that aren't already full, but you know that God doesn't want you to leave the church, what are you supposed to do? It's very difficult to look at people I grew up with who seem so much more 'mature' and 'different' and 'grown up' who are in the church and who are married. People don't say it, but I feel like I'm being looked down on for being single. Perhaps it's just my being paranoid. And also, the people who are married in our church are so preoccupied with their own families, that as a single person, it's easy to feel left out and disconnected from people. Especially when there are other single people in the church who are either working too much that you never see them, or they are not completely focused on the Lord, you know? What is my role in this season of my life? If I'm not supposed to marry, what am I supposed to be doing? Please, any response would be beneficial. Also, it is refreshing and encouraging to me to hear from a married lady who doesn't believe that "marriage is the highest calling of her life." Perhaps it's better that I'm single? I don't know. I'm just confused about it all. Hi Ashleigh,
I really like your post, but what about those girls who are single like me who don’t seem to know what they are supposed to be doing with their ‘single’ time? I honestly thought I would have been married by now. In fact, what if I told you that I knew who my future husband is, but yet, he doesn’t know it, or is being stubborn about it? I would have to politely disagree with you about God not calling people to be married, because I was. Yet, I believe I missed my chances. I won’t go into detail, but perhaps you could provide an answer to this question: “if you know that beyond any shadow of a doubt you were supposed to marry a certain person, and he lives in another state, and you had the chance to get to know him at college, but didn’t, how on earth, are you supposed to know whether God will ever bring you together, like He told you?” It’s a honest and agonizing question. Also, if you are in a church that is full of married people, and there’s not many ministries to get involved in that aren’t already full, but you know that God doesn’t want you to leave the church, what are you supposed to do? It’s very difficult to look at people I grew up with who seem so much more ‘mature’ and ‘different’ and ‘grown up’ who are in the church and who are married. People don’t say it, but I feel like I’m being looked down on for being single. Perhaps it’s just my being paranoid. And also, the people who are married in our church are so preoccupied with their own families, that as a single person, it’s easy to feel left out and disconnected from people. Especially when there are other single people in the church who are either working too much that you never see them, or they are not completely focused on the Lord, you know? What is my role in this season of my life? If I’m not supposed to marry, what am I supposed to be doing? Please, any response would be beneficial. Also, it is refreshing and encouraging to me to hear from a married lady who doesn’t believe that “marriage is the highest calling of her life.” Perhaps it’s better that I’m single? I don’t know. I’m just confused about it all.

]]> By: Laurie http://ylcf.org/2009/09/marriage-is-not-my-highest-calling-part-two/#comment-10133 Laurie Wed, 14 Oct 2009 13:35:32 +0000 http://ylcf.org/?p=4281#comment-10133 Oh, Bravo! I am 39 and never been married, and feel very blessed as a single woman. I've often found it frustrating that most of the resources for Christian women seeking to follow Jesus in the most sincere way are geared toward wives, mothers, and those looking for a husband. I have placed my marital status in the hands of God, and whether I remain single or eventually marry will be done in obedience to Him. I have a job I enjoy and own my own home, family and friends who love me, and I seldom feel lonely or that I've "missed my calling." Thank you so much for such a respectful, balanced look at what constitutes a calling of God. Oh, Bravo! I am 39 and never been married, and feel very blessed as a single woman. I’ve often found it frustrating that most of the resources for Christian women seeking to follow Jesus in the most sincere way are geared toward wives, mothers, and those looking for a husband. I have placed my marital status in the hands of God, and whether I remain single or eventually marry will be done in obedience to Him. I have a job I enjoy and own my own home, family and friends who love me, and I seldom feel lonely or that I’ve “missed my calling.” Thank you so much for such a respectful, balanced look at what constitutes a calling of God.

]]> By: Sallie http://ylcf.org/2009/09/marriage-is-not-my-highest-calling-part-two/#comment-10099 Sallie Tue, 06 Oct 2009 00:44:54 +0000 http://ylcf.org/?p=4281#comment-10099 Ashleigh, Thank you for doing this set of posts. I am on the other end now, having been very happily married for almost 14 years after a long struggle with singleness. I did not marry until I was 29 and was not blessed with a child until I was 39. It was never my intention to delay these things. I had always wanted to be married and have children. But God's plans were different. I am glad to see young women writing something to challenge other young women to think about their highest calling - following Christ. Being married is wonderful and being a mom is great. But none of it compares to walking with Christ. And I truly believe God has much more for his beloved and gifted daughters than just passing time, waiting for a husband, house and child. Ashleigh,

Thank you for doing this set of posts. I am on the other end now, having been very happily married for almost 14 years after a long struggle with singleness. I did not marry until I was 29 and was not blessed with a child until I was 39. It was never my intention to delay these things. I had always wanted to be married and have children. But God’s plans were different.

I am glad to see young women writing something to challenge other young women to think about their highest calling – following Christ. Being married is wonderful and being a mom is great. But none of it compares to walking with Christ. And I truly believe God has much more for his beloved and gifted daughters than just passing time, waiting for a husband, house and child.

]]> By: Mary Beth http://ylcf.org/2009/09/marriage-is-not-my-highest-calling-part-two/#comment-10089 Mary Beth Sun, 04 Oct 2009 17:50:56 +0000 http://ylcf.org/?p=4281#comment-10089 I concur with Ashleigh's articles, having entertained many of the same thoughts idolizing marriage and motherhood myself for many years. After awhile, though, they became fetters that hindered me from participating in the life and ministry that God has provided for me. I been have been a single, stay-at-home daughter and sister for many years now; I am 34, yet the Lord has not provided a husband for yet. My life has not been stagnant either! I been involved in numerous church ministry ventures, worked in a juvenile rehab center for a year, and became an dedicated intercessor for many lost and hurting souls. I have spent ten years of weekends as a wedding cake engineer in my family's bakery, been a perpetual college student, been a teacher and high school principal for twelve years, been a homeowner and landlord, and just become an aunt for the first time this year! My life is busy and useful in the Kingdom Harvest. I am thankful for my fruitful life, although my heart often wanders into longing for what I do not have. I lay that burden at the foot of my Jesus' cross, for He sees and hears and answers. I concur with Ashleigh’s articles, having entertained many of the same thoughts idolizing marriage and motherhood myself for many years. After awhile, though, they became fetters that hindered me from participating in the life and ministry that God has provided for me.

I been have been a single, stay-at-home daughter and sister for many years now; I am 34, yet the Lord has not provided a husband for yet. My life has not been stagnant either! I been involved in numerous church ministry ventures, worked in a juvenile rehab center for a year, and became an dedicated intercessor for many lost and hurting souls. I have spent ten years of weekends as a wedding cake engineer in my family’s bakery, been a perpetual college student, been a teacher and high school principal for twelve years, been a homeowner and landlord, and just become an aunt for the first time this year! My life is busy and useful in the Kingdom Harvest. I am thankful for my fruitful life, although my heart often wanders into longing for what I do not have. I lay that burden at the foot of my Jesus’ cross, for He sees and hears and answers.

]]> By: Elizabeth J. http://ylcf.org/2009/09/marriage-is-not-my-highest-calling-part-two/#comment-10087 Elizabeth J. Sun, 04 Oct 2009 00:34:20 +0000 http://ylcf.org/?p=4281#comment-10087 Ashleigh, thank you so much for the biblically sound post and encouragement you have blessed us with. I will more than likely not be a "stay at home daughter" and I know that that might not always be popular but I am determined to follow Jesus where he is presently leading me. Thank you again and may God bless you, your husband, and children. Ashleigh, thank you so much for the biblically sound post and encouragement you have blessed us with. I will more than likely not be a “stay at home daughter” and I know that that might not always be popular but I am determined to follow Jesus where he is presently leading me. Thank you again and may God bless you, your husband, and children.

]]> By: Samantha R. http://ylcf.org/2009/09/marriage-is-not-my-highest-calling-part-two/#comment-10086 Samantha R. Sat, 03 Oct 2009 02:55:57 +0000 http://ylcf.org/?p=4281#comment-10086 Once again, THANK YOU, Ash!! and a resounding Amen to this Part Two. I have to agree with you 100% on all you wrote and it has encouraged me greatly at where I am in life right now and where God is leading me. Once again, THANK YOU, Ash!! and a resounding Amen to this Part Two. I have to agree with you 100% on all you wrote and it has encouraged me greatly at where I am in life right now and where God is leading me.

]]> By: Kaomi http://ylcf.org/2009/09/marriage-is-not-my-highest-calling-part-two/#comment-10085 Kaomi Sat, 03 Oct 2009 02:54:44 +0000 http://ylcf.org/?p=4281#comment-10085 I am a working girl, who hopes to go to college in the near future. I used to think that I was messing up to get a job and go away to college, but God has showed me differently. I never thought I would be going to college, because I wasn't interested, but God has showed me His plans aren't mine. I think some girls take the issue of daughters staying at home wrong. 1) They think that this means they should never work outside the home or go to college and 2) they think that everyone who does those things is going against the teachings of the Bible. There is wisdom in a daughter staying under her father's authority, and if your family has their own business, working with them is probably a good idea, because as I have found the world isn't always a friendly place for a single young woman. But, I think you can work out-side the home and still be under your father's authority. I still live at home, and I think that if I girl can stay at home she should, because women who live alone too long tend have trouble coming under submission to their husbands once they get married because they have gotten so used to doing things alone and their own way. Women were made to be under man's authority, whether that means the authority of a husband or father. So, staying with your family and submitting yourself to your parents authority is a good thing. Or, if you do leave home, if you can live with a like-minded Chirstian family that is also better then making your way alone. I think college isn't a bad way to spend your single years either, you just must keep in mind that should God call you to marry, your degree and career will probably need to go on the very back burner. Some women spend years getting a degree and work after they are married and have a family because they spent so much time and money on the degree that they cannot justify not using it and having a career. They do well in their chosen career, but neglect their families. When their kids are grown and gone, they regret their choices and wish they had done things differently. What I am trying to say and not saying well, is, if you can stay at home and still follow God's calling, do it. And just because you think you hear God's voice doesn't mean the devil isn't decieving you. Seek wisdom from the Christians around you as you seek God's will for your life. Don't put down those who are called differently, and encourage every girl you meet to walk closely with the Lord. If you are in close fellowship with Him, He will speak and you will hear His voice (and you will not be decieved) and have His peace in your heart. For me, I plan to go to college for a few years, because the field I am going into calls for it, but though I will not be able to stay at home, I will not be alone either. Then after college I hope to move back home, unless God has some other plan for me. I love being a daughter at home and spending time learning from my parents. Sorry this is so long, and muddled, maybe I will post a full post on this topic some- day soon on my blog. :) In Him, Kaomi I am a working girl, who hopes to go to college in the near future. I used to think that I was messing up to get a job and go away to college, but God has showed me differently. I never thought I would be going to college, because I wasn’t interested, but God has showed me His plans aren’t mine. I think some girls take the issue of daughters staying at home wrong. 1) They think that this means they should never work outside the home or go to college and 2) they think that everyone who does those things is going against the teachings of the Bible. There is wisdom in a daughter staying under her father’s authority, and if your family has their own business, working with them is probably a good idea, because as I have found the world isn’t always a friendly place for a single young woman. But, I think you can work out-side the home and still be under your father’s authority. I still live at home, and I think that if I girl can stay at home she should, because women who live alone too long tend have trouble coming under submission to their husbands once they get married because they have gotten so used to doing things alone and their own way. Women were made to be under man’s authority, whether that means the authority of a husband or father. So, staying with your family and submitting yourself to your parents authority is a good thing. Or, if you do leave home, if you can live with a like-minded Chirstian family that is also better then making your way alone. I think college isn’t a bad way to spend your single years either, you just must keep in mind that should God call you to marry, your degree and career will probably need to go on the very back burner. Some women spend years getting a degree and work after they are married and have a family because they spent so much time and money on the degree that they cannot justify not using it and having a career. They do well in their chosen career, but neglect their families. When their kids are grown and gone, they regret their choices and wish they had done things differently. What I am trying to say and not saying well, is, if you can stay at home and still follow God’s calling, do it. And just because you think you hear God’s voice doesn’t mean the devil isn’t decieving you. Seek wisdom from the Christians around you as you seek God’s will for your life. Don’t put down those who are called differently, and encourage every girl you meet to walk closely with the Lord. If you are in close fellowship with Him, He will speak and you will hear His voice (and you will not be decieved) and have His peace in your heart. For me, I plan to go to college for a few years, because the field I am going into calls for it, but though I will not be able to stay at home, I will not be alone either. Then after college I hope to move back home, unless God has some other plan for me. I love being a daughter at home and spending time learning from my parents. Sorry this is so long, and muddled, maybe I will post a full post on this topic some- day soon on my blog. :)
In Him,
Kaomi

]]> By: Jaclynn R. http://ylcf.org/2009/09/marriage-is-not-my-highest-calling-part-two/#comment-10084 Jaclynn R. Fri, 02 Oct 2009 20:46:44 +0000 http://ylcf.org/?p=4281#comment-10084 JWashington: Your reply was very meaningful to me too, I've had those talks with God, very similiar thoughts have run through my mind. I just turned 24 too so I know it can feel sometimes. But He really does care! And He does want us to trust Him with every detail of our lives. *hugs* to you sister. JWashington:
Your reply was very meaningful to me too, I’ve had those talks with God, very similiar thoughts have run through my mind. I just turned 24 too so I know it can feel sometimes.
But He really does care! And He does want us to trust Him with every detail of our lives.
*hugs* to you sister.

]]> By: Anna http://ylcf.org/2009/09/marriage-is-not-my-highest-calling-part-two/#comment-10083 Anna Fri, 02 Oct 2009 16:35:49 +0000 http://ylcf.org/?p=4281#comment-10083 As a teenager I was one of these girls who was "never" going to work outside the home, go to college, etc. We believed, based on our study of Scripture, that a woman's place was in the home (which I still believe, if God blesses that woman with a home of her own), and therefore I was just going to prepare for marriage. I realize now, though, that subconciously I was saying to God, "Well, Lord, I'm following the Scriptures more closely than all these other girls, so You had better hold up Your end of the bargain and bring me a husband, right now!" God answered, "Oh really?" :) Almost 24 and still single, I now have a part-time job and go to college (gasp!) :) I've been a "stay-at-home daughter" and a working girl/student, and to my surprise God has engineered both situations and done His work in both. I've learned that God is the only One in control, that we can't hold too closely to ideas that may be just our own, if they have to do with an area that's not spelled out in clear black and white in the Bible! Thanks Ashleigh! As a teenager I was one of these girls who was “never” going to work outside the home, go to college, etc. We believed, based on our study of Scripture, that a woman’s place was in the home (which I still believe, if God blesses that woman with a home of her own), and therefore I was just going to prepare for marriage. I realize now, though, that subconciously I was saying to God, “Well, Lord, I’m following the Scriptures more closely than all these other girls, so You had better hold up Your end of the bargain and bring me a husband, right now!” God answered, “Oh really?” :) Almost 24 and still single, I now have a part-time job and go to college (gasp!) :) I’ve been a “stay-at-home daughter” and a working girl/student, and to my surprise God has engineered both situations and done His work in both. I’ve learned that God is the only One in control, that we can’t hold too closely to ideas that may be just our own, if they have to do with an area that’s not spelled out in clear black and white in the Bible! Thanks Ashleigh!

]]> By: JWashington http://ylcf.org/2009/09/marriage-is-not-my-highest-calling-part-two/#comment-10082 JWashington Fri, 02 Oct 2009 09:40:13 +0000 http://ylcf.org/?p=4281#comment-10082 wow thats funny cause i was JUST thinking that. I am going to school right now and want to ultimately get my RN licence and was wondering "is it wrong to have a career or should i just be a homemaker when i get married?" but no it IS ok!!! wow thats funny cause i was JUST thinking that. I am going to school right now and want to ultimately get my RN licence and was wondering “is it wrong to have a career or should i just be a homemaker when i get married?” but no it IS ok!!!

]]> By: JWashington http://ylcf.org/2009/09/marriage-is-not-my-highest-calling-part-two/#comment-10081 JWashington Fri, 02 Oct 2009 09:36:01 +0000 http://ylcf.org/?p=4281#comment-10081 Thats crazy i think the same thing a lot too =] Thats crazy i think the same thing a lot too =]

]]> By: JWashington http://ylcf.org/2009/09/marriage-is-not-my-highest-calling-part-two/#comment-10080 JWashington Fri, 02 Oct 2009 09:34:00 +0000 http://ylcf.org/?p=4281#comment-10080 WOW!!! God is SO good Ashleigh you don't understand how much ur post means to me right now. [ok sorry this maybe a little long] I am 23, and i came to Christ almost 7 years ago. For the past 7 years I have watched EVERYONE in my youth group grow up and get married and have children [including my younger sister]. For the past 3 years people have come up to me, pat me on the shoulder and say "girl when are u going to get married?". I soon found myself sad and hurt because I am the last young adult of my youth group to be single. I felt [and sometimes still feel] that God has closed his ears to me and could care less about my desire for a future husband. I would say "what's the problem with me God, don't you know i would make a good wife?" or "well maybe its cause im not pretty enough"; I would begin finding things wrong with me and try changing them [dieting, shopping for cuter stuff, lowering my standards]. This past year God began to show me that i need to embrass my singleness and make the best of it. Well i started to get more involved with his ministry, and went back to school to work on my career. All was good until this past week, i started to question my desicion to wait on God and let him direct my love life, i started saying "well look nothing is happening". [this brings me to tears] Just tonight i came home from school and had a talk with God that went somthing like this: "God i am tiered of being lonely, im tiered of wishing and asking and nothing happening, im tiered of being the odd ball out, im tiered of it all, I've done ALL that i know to do and its like u still don't care. I DON'T want to grow old and lonely and not have a family. Well it doesn't matter if my guy is in church so if your not going to do anything about it, i guess i have to take this in MY OWN hands." [now of course this is Jesus so i said it with more respect lol] but after all that i decided to look and see if i could get some advice...and then i found this blog.....it got my mind back on focus!!!! I TRUST JESUS!!! he never said this was going to be easy, but with his hand and guidence i know he will provide IN HIS TME!!! until then i want to love Jesus and focus my life on him.. thank you so much sis for sharing your blog with us much blessings for you Jess! 4xkt498 WOW!!! God is SO good
Ashleigh you don’t understand how much ur post means to me right now.
[ok sorry this maybe a little long]
I am 23, and i came to Christ almost 7 years ago. For the past 7 years I have watched EVERYONE in my youth group grow up and get married and have children [including my younger sister]. For the past 3 years people have come up to me, pat me on the shoulder and say “girl when are u going to get married?”. I soon found myself sad and hurt because I am the last young adult of my youth group to be single. I felt [and sometimes still feel] that God has closed his ears to me and could care less about my desire for a future husband. I would say “what’s the problem with me God, don’t you know i would make a good wife?” or “well maybe its cause im not pretty enough”; I would begin finding things wrong with me and try changing them [dieting, shopping for cuter stuff, lowering my standards]. This past year God began to show me that i need to embrass my singleness and make the best of it. Well i started to get more involved with his ministry, and went back to school to work on my career. All was good until this past week, i started to question my desicion to wait on God and let him direct my love life, i started saying “well look nothing is happening”. [this brings me to tears] Just tonight i came home from school and had a talk with God that went somthing like this:
“God i am tiered of being lonely, im tiered of wishing and asking and nothing happening, im tiered of being the odd ball out, im tiered of it all, I’ve done ALL that i know to do and its like u still don’t care. I DON’T want to grow old and lonely and not have a family. Well it doesn’t matter if my guy is in church so if your not going to do anything about it, i guess i have to take this in MY OWN hands.” [now of course this is Jesus so i said it with more respect lol]
but after all that i decided to look and see if i could get some advice…and then i found this blog…..it got my mind back on focus!!!! I TRUST JESUS!!! he never said this was going to be easy, but with his hand and guidence i know he will provide IN HIS TME!!! until then i want to love Jesus and focus my life on him..
thank you so much sis for sharing your blog with us
much blessings for you
Jess!
4xkt498

]]> By: sweetmomma http://ylcf.org/2009/09/marriage-is-not-my-highest-calling-part-two/#comment-10079 sweetmomma Thu, 01 Oct 2009 18:42:30 +0000 http://ylcf.org/?p=4281#comment-10079 I entirely agree! I was conversing with my younger brother on this very point last night. It's a hard to explain subject! I think you did very well though. Thank you. This took courage to write. I entirely agree! I was conversing with my younger brother on this very point last night. It’s a hard to explain subject! I think you did very well though. Thank you. This took courage to write.

]]> By: Kiersti http://ylcf.org/2009/09/marriage-is-not-my-highest-calling-part-two/#comment-10063 Kiersti Thu, 01 Oct 2009 01:35:11 +0000 http://ylcf.org/?p=4281#comment-10063 I'll add my voice to the others above: thank you, Ashleigh. :) I’ll add my voice to the others above: thank you, Ashleigh. :)

]]> By: Jen http://ylcf.org/2009/09/marriage-is-not-my-highest-calling-part-two/#comment-10062 Jen Wed, 30 Sep 2009 21:26:17 +0000 http://ylcf.org/?p=4281#comment-10062 Very, very good thoughts Ashleigh. The circumstances and blessings around us don't change the race. :) And there's no level of blessing or circumstance that is higher than another. It's all a gift from God. If all we ever received from our Creator was a Savior while we were yet sinners, that would be completely enough. Everything else is extended-undeserved blessing. Thank you for the needed reminder! "Let us run with endurance the race <i>marked for us</i>...keeping our eyes on <i>Jesus</i>..." Hebrews 12 (italics mine) Very, very good thoughts Ashleigh. The circumstances and blessings around us don’t change the race. :) And there’s no level of blessing or circumstance that is higher than another. It’s all a gift from God. If all we ever received from our Creator was a Savior while we were yet sinners, that would be completely enough. Everything else is extended-undeserved blessing. Thank you for the needed reminder!
“Let us run with endurance the race marked for us…keeping our eyes on Jesus…” Hebrews 12 (italics mine)

]]> By: Rebecca http://ylcf.org/2009/09/marriage-is-not-my-highest-calling-part-two/#comment-10061 Rebecca Wed, 30 Sep 2009 19:54:04 +0000 http://ylcf.org/?p=4281#comment-10061 Excellent article. Thank you very much. Excellent article. Thank you very much.

]]> By: Katie http://ylcf.org/2009/09/marriage-is-not-my-highest-calling-part-two/#comment-10060 Katie Wed, 30 Sep 2009 18:28:19 +0000 http://ylcf.org/?p=4281#comment-10060 This is so true. I've held a simiar opinion for years and wondered if I was the only one... This is so true. I’ve held a simiar opinion for years and wondered if I was the only one…

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