Appealing Biblical Femininity (part two)

Can femininity still be appealing?  Is femininity biblical?  Can femininity lend appeal to the message of the Bible?  The answer is yes to all three.  Carolyn Mahaney outlines the biblical traits of a femininity that is not only appealing, but a femininity that has the power to give the very message of the Gospel appeal as others watch how we as Christian women live!  Continued here are highlights from the chapters of Feminine Appeal outlining the feminine traits listed in Titus 2 (click here for the first part of the review).

The Pleasure of Purity – Few books contain a chapter with as much power to impact your perspective of marriage as Feminine Appeal.  Carolyn Mahaney packs the truths from all my favorite books on marriage into one chapter entitled “The Pleasure of Purity.”  But that doesn’t mean single ladies should skip it!  The chapter on purity has plenty to say on fleeing temptation—and that applies to everyone.  Plus, it will give you a beautiful vision of the way God designed marriage to be, so very different—and so much better—than what our culture promotes.  (Wives, look for a more in-depth review coming to the YLCF’s Just for Married Ladies blog.)

Our conquest of sin begins with a deliberate resolve to set our hearts and minds on things above.  As we contemplate what Christ has done for us, we will be compelled to pursue purity for His glory. (pg. 90)

The Honor of Working at Home – In a chapter which could cause many in today’s world to bristle, Carolyn deals biblically and honestly with the call to be busy working at home.  She is quick to point out that feminism has failed to deliver as promised—yes, it has done its job of undermining the role of a homemaker, but neither has it given women happiness or fulfillment in the work force (pg. 103).  Yet if you’ve ever paused to come up with some other answer to the question of your occupation than the happy declaration of “wife and mother”, then you know how many of us are still affected by the poison of feminist thought patterns.  But the management of our homes—under the guidance and support of our husbands—is designed to give us happiness and fulfillment!  Carolyn comes down strongly on the idea of “co-responsibility”, making it very clear that the man’s primary role is provider while the woman’s primary role is manager of the home.  Yet she also uses the woman of Proverbs 31 to illustrate that it is quite biblical for a woman to contribute to the household income.  I thought her exhortation to single women was especially applicable to many of the readers here at YLCF (as is Carolyn’s article at CBMW.org and this article from Boundless):

I can understand how easy it would be to make the school or the workplace the priority in your life.  Yet the call to make the home a priority extends to all women, no matter your season in life.  Even now you can discover ways to make your residence a home, cultivate the domestic arts, and prayerfully consider how to use your home for outreach and care to others. (pp. 104-105)

The Rewards of Kindness – Carolyn’s definition of kindness is “a sincere desire for our husbands’ and children’s happiness.”  And just as self-control (nor in fact any of the seven attributes of a godly woman) is not attainable in our own strength, kindness can not become a part of our lives if we do not rely fully upon the help of the Holy Spirit.  Highlighting the hindrances to kindness—anger, bitterness, and judging—Carolyn also provides the biblical solutions.  Being kind brings us a reputation for goodness: What are we known for?  How are we described by others?  Is it our kindness or our style of clothing which attracts more attention?

This reputation for goodness begins at home.  At the heart of our commission to do good is the well-being of our family members.  Our husbands and children should be the primary beneficiaries of our good works. (pg. 128)

The Beauty of Submission – In the final trait listed in Titus 2:3-5 we find the most debated: submission.  But again, Carolyn handles it with candid grace.  She clearly states that, “Scripture makes no allowance for male dominance or male superiority…  Neither is submission a position of inferiority or demeaning in its application” (pg, 137).  She also makes it clear that the submission is not to all men—or even any other man who might seem more worthy of honor or respect than our husband—no, our submission is to be only to our own husband, then to God.   And nothing is a more powerful commendation of the gospel to an unbelieving husband than a submissive wife.

If we embrace [God’s] plan for our lives and purpose to obey His commands, He will develop in us the beauty of submission.  He will enable us to trust Him to lead our husbands to lead us. (pg. 152)

And the preface to it all in Titus 2?  It’s a “call to action for the older women,” says Carolyn.  (Which is why the expanded version of Feminine Appeal includes study questions for groups large or small.)  Paul commands us: “Teach what is good, and so train the young women” (Titus 2:3b-4a).  And as we state in the YLCF values, every woman is an “older woman” to someone.  It is your responsibility, it is my responsibility.  Let’s not only teach what is good, let’s live it out in our day to day life, commending the Gospel for not just the world, but also our family, to see.

(Note to parents: “The Delight of Loving My Husband” is a fabulous chapter for readers of all ages.  The only chapter moms of younger teens may want to preview is “The Pleasure of Purity”—but even that is very tastefully written and includes issues that moms need to be discussing with their daughters as they reach the appropriate age.)