How often does it cross your mind that the way we live as Christian women is to actually commend the Gospel? Carolyn Mahaney has written a book that brings that point home in a powerful way, highlighting “the seven virtues of a godly wife and mother” straight from Titus 2. Feminine Appeal has a powerful message packed in a little book:
The world doesn’t judge us by our theology; the world judges us by our behavior. People don’t necessarily want to know what we believe about the Bible. They want to see if what we believe makes a difference in our lives. Our actions either bring honor to God or misrepresent His truth. (pg. 27)
How are women to commend God’s truth through their daily lives? Paul lists seven areas in Titus 2:3-5, which Carolyn highlights in seven chapters.
The Delight of Loving My Husband – I found very thought-provoking Carolyn’s differentiation between how wives are commanded to phileo their husbands versus how men are commanded to agape their wives. Phileo refers to a tender, affectionate “friendship” kind of love. The very affection and friendship upon which a marriage thrives is that which, Carolyn points out, in our busy (agape) service to our husbands we often forget to give them! Prizing him, cherishing him, enjoying him—these create a love that lasts. Carolyn encourages wives to practice thinking tender thoughts of their husbands. Do we spend the same amount of time now admiring his good qualities that we did before we were married? If not, shame on us—for now we have even more opportunity to observe his admirable traits! According to Carolyn, changing our thought patterns is a key for keeping the passion and excitement in marriage.
If we find that our affection for our husband is waning or has subsided altogether, then we do not need to look any further than our own hearts. Where sin is present, warm affection dissipates. Anger, bitterness, criticism, pride, selfishness, fear, laziness—all vigorously oppose tender love. This love cannot survive in a heart that harbors sin. (pg. 38)
The Blessings of Loving My Children – Again, Carolyn points out how important the agape command is in the way we care for our children. We spend our days attending to their every need—but are we enjoying them, delighting in those little moments that so quickly are gone? Are we praying for them as we care for them? This chapter was filled with so many “highlightable” sentences and convicting paragraphs—more truth is packed in those few pages than in the majority of the books on parenting filling the shelves of Christian book stores. Carolyn does more than just remind us to have fun with our children, however—she shows the powerful potential a mother has to influence her children, reminding us of the highest aim of parenting:
Our goal is not that our children be happy, fulfilled, and successful. Granted, we may desire these things for them. But our highest objective should be that our children would repent from their sins, put their trust in Jesus Christ, and reflect the gospel to the world around them. (pp. 60-61)
The Safety of Self-Control – Eating, sleeping, thinking, and feeling—all to the glory of God? Plenty of conviction in this chapter for each of us. But Carolyn reminds us that we can do nothing through our own strength. His strength is made perfect in our weakness—when we admit our total dependence upon Him. And the only guaranteed way to develop self control, Carolyn says, is to meet daily with God:
When we meet with God, we can find peace in the midst of trying circumstances, an eternal perspective where we have lost sight of the truth, and power to fight our battle against sin… We should eagerly and consistently respond to our Savior’s invitation to come and meet with Him. (pg. 78)
The Gospel has the power to change our lives. Are we willing to be truly transformed by Titus 2? Nothing will commend the Gospel more.
Watch for the rest of the Titus 2 traits in the conclusion of the review of my new favorite book—Feminine Appeal—soon.
(Note to parents: “The Delight of Loving My Husband” is a fabulous chapter for readers of all ages. The only chapter moms of younger teens may want to preview is “The Pleasure of Purity”—but even that is very tastefully written and includes issues that moms need to be discussing with their daughters as they reach the appropriate age.)
I’m reading this book right now and have had some of the same insights you mentioned. I was especially provoked by the first quote, a great explanation of why our actions are so important.
Excellent article for women of all ages. I will have to read Mahaney’s book.