I have a new favorite book on marriage. And for once, it’s a marriage book I can recommend without disclaimer—to anyone! In fact, it’s a book every woman should read—whether married or single, retired or still in your teens. Because it’s more than just a book about marriage—it’s a book straight out of Titus 2.
Feminine Appeal: Seven Virtues of a Godly Wife and Mother is a gem of a book. The author, Carolyn Mahaney, is a pastor’s wife and mother of four. After hearing her on the radio a time or two and liking everything I heard, I finally decided I really should find her book—which was written six years ago! I’m only sorry I didn’t read it sooner, because now it numbers among my absolute favorites.
There were, of course, “the books I didn’t pack”—my stack of favorites I was reading right up until the days before my wedding. I’ve always been a firm believer that how you think about marriage and what you read about marriage will have a great affect on your marriage. And I know that the favorites I’ve collected have been largely responsible for the foundation of the very happy marriage we have thus far enjoyed.
Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands hits you right between the eyes, as only Dr. Laura can do. The basic principles of her book are ones that have had a huge impact on the way I view marriage and men. But not everyone likes Dr. Laura’s ultra-blunt style.
Created to Be His Helpmeet is chock-full of down-to-earth, practical, every-day application from Debi Pearl. Her illustrations will be enough to change the way you treat your husband. But the Pearl’s conservative stance and theological views are enough to prevent some from getting the good out of Created.
For Women Only paints a vivid picture of a man’s day-to-day battle with his eyes that can give women a whole new understanding of their man and his “visual Rolodex.” Shaunti Feldhahn’s book is excellent, but it far from covers all the aspects of marriage.
Feminine Appeal has it all. A no-apologies, hard-hitting biblical message—with no crass terms or theological landmines. It’s a book I am going to recommend to every wife and mom, every older teen girl. Even the chapter “The Pleasure of Purity” is written in such a tasteful style that it would be the perfect discussion starter for moms and teen daughters. (Moms, I beg you, please give your daughters a vision for a happy, loving marriage—otherwise, this tabloid society will quickly fill the void!)
If you’ve read Feminine Appeal and want more—especially practical application for you wives—I still highly recommend Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, Created to Be His Helpmeet, and For Women Only. Each expands on some of the topics in the authors’ respectively unique ways. Choose your favorite author of the three and check out her book. (More detailed reviews of all three can be found at YLCF’s Just for Married Ladies blog.) But in the meantime, be sure to read Feminine Appeal.
In my mind, Carolyn Mahaney’s book is the Let Me Be a Woman of this decade. Not that Elisabeth Elliot’s book is out of date—in fact, Carolyn Mahaney frequently quotes Elisabeth as well as many other classic authors, which is one of my favorite elements of Feminine Appeal: all the fabulous quotations! Read it!
(Watch for a review of Let Me Be a Woman coming soon—in addition to a more in-depth review of Feminine Appeal.)
Feminine appeal sounds like a great book, I’ve only read an article about modesty of Carolyn Mahaney, but I liked that one =) I’ll be sure to check out something so highly recommended!
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I’ve read For Women only and it’s a book that I do recommend highly too, it changed my view of men (and how to act around them) completely.
Proper Care and feeding of husbands is a book I’ve only heard about here at ylcf, and I thought from the review that it covered mostly the same as For women only? But otherwise I would be interested in reading it.
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I read tons of reviews on Created to be is helpmeet, cause I was interested in it, but from the reviews I understood it to be saying “you serve God by serving your husband (which IS true, though I was a lot more in doubt when it seemed like another theological view was that) women don’t need to spend time alone with God, praying or reading Scripture, it’s enough that they meets their husbands needs.” (will someone please say I got it wrong?)
If this is right, I don’t know if I care to read it. Though I haven’t read the book, only tried to look through a wide range of reviews. I’m very open for other’s thoughts here.
God bless you, Gretchen, your writings have inspired me so much with your writing, for years. Thanks for being one of us and still daring to speak up with thoughts and advice!
åslaug abigail
I think Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands covers a much broader range of topics than For Women Only. In reality, I’d say Proper Care and Feeding and Created to Be His Helpmeet cover the same topics–just from the perspective of a very different author.
As to your understanding of Created to Be His Helpmeet’s message: yes, the author’s main point is that you serve God by serving your husband. But I think she puts plenty of emphasis (though maybe more understood than stated) on a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, Bible study, and prayer, as being the source for the strength to serve your husband. There are suggested Scripture passages for study at the end of every chapter.
I just had to add, that I’ve now read Created to be His helpmeet twice (before I got married) and after almost 9 months of marriage I’ve taken it off the shelf to read it again, and it’s not for the last time. I absolutely love it. It’s my number one recommended book for my friends who are gettting married. I guess amazon reviews can be misleading?? Yeah. Well, anyways I half way expected to find a “be a door mat”-instruction in it, but in that area I was very disappointed =) It’s a great book, and after reading it I totally agree with your view of it.
I can second this review! Carolyn Mahaney’s book is excellent.
Ooh, I want to read this! I love the blog of Carolyn and her daughters, “Girl Talk.”
Thanks for all these recommendations, Gretchen!! I’ve read For Women Only and thought it was great, but the others I haven’t read.
Blessings,
Laura
http://only-annegirl.blogspot.com
Hello – I’ve been reading the YLCF blog for a long time and wanted to tell you all how much I like it and how much I’ve learned. What may surprise you is that I am a 40-something married female atheist living in a major city, intentionally child-free, a professional with an advanced degree. I appreciate learning about your way of life (which I had never even imagined) and beliefs, even though I don’t share them. I’ve also taken some good cues from you on being a wife, which my hubby has appreciated. I admire you for having the courage to live your convictions and imagine it must be a real commitment to buck society’s norms and live the way you think is right.
Thank you. We’re glad to have you here!