Who I Am Today

February 5th, 2008

Don’t you just hate all these task-oriented entries? They will be such a bore to re-read. Yet that is who I am – especially in this season. Wifehood, motherhood, housekeeping – lists for each, overlapping and multiplying daily. I take great satisfaction in accomplishing my goals, be they ever so small and menial. That is why I write so much about them. It is a part of who I am.

But I do have other thoughts and other sides to my personality…

I have moments daily that I find myself dreaming of a house, alone on a hill, full of children being taught and loved by a creative mother – me!…I dream of dresses I shall make when my figure stabilizes again after the child bearing years (maybe 20 years?)… And all the little dresses and make-believe costumes I will make for my children until then… My mind is frequently working on projects in my studio months before I will have a chance to get to them in real life.

I often ponder the person I was – single seamstress, amateur poet, bookworm, who cooked only when the fancy hit…to fulfilled wife and mother, only too glad (most days) that she can’t see the end of the tasks that keep her beloved husband and child clothed and fed and clean and happy.

I marvel at the multiple talents and traits the Lord put in my husband, creating a person that I love and respect more than I ever thought possible… I am in awe of my son, daily growing in understanding and ability – color-sorting his beads on the living room floor at 16 months, or communicating clearly through sign language that he is thirsty and that after a drink he wants me to read him a book…

I think these thoughts as I knead bread, breaking a sweat from the exertion combined with the temperature in my cozy house. I stare out the window musing as I wash still another pile of dishes. I am not simply what I accomplish in a day. With the gifts of hope, love, imagination, and gratitude, I am so much more. I am a woman worshiping God through the fulfillment of tasks He created me for.