Thoughts on Singleness, Marriage, and Purity: Part 1

I’ve recently been compiling and pondering an abundance of diverse thoughts and quotes on singleness, marriage, purity, and the relationship between men and women. No book excerpt or author has the answer on these issues; perhaps over the next few weeks as I post various thoughts they will add a different light or insight into your personal journey as a woman of God. If you have any passages to share, do sent them my way.

You must begin with a set of presuppositions, and build on these and none other. We cannot know anything unless we know it through the framework of this:

Therefore, the answers to any questions must be found through His Word. What is found in His Word must change our life and alter our actions. We must obey based on our knowledge of God. “And by this we know that we have come to know Him, if we keep His commandments” (1 John 2:3). When we obey, we are reflecting our knowledge of Him. The more we know Him, the more we are able to obey. The more we obey, the more we are able to know Him. It is a beautiful, paradoxial circle.

So one question must be: What has God commanded that we are called to obey in these areas of singleness, marriage, purity, and relationships? Let’s begin with a few of the many passages that apply to this question.

And so, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. And beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. (Col. 3:12-14)

It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery…For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole Law is fulfilled in one word in the statement “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” But I say, walk by the Spirit and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. (from Gal. 5)

We are to serve and love each other. What does that look like? What should it look like? “Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are…strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger…envying…but the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control; against such things there is no law” (Gal. 5:19-22).

The Bible Knowledge Commentary says: “Jealousy (zelos) refers not to the godly form but to the sinful and self-centered type.” You see this also in Romans 13: “Owe nothing to anyone except to love one another; for he who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law…love does no wrong to a neighbor; love therefore is the fulfillment of the law.”

The notes on verse 22 say: “Love is listed first because it is the foundation of the other graces. God is love and loves the world. Such self-sacrificing love that sent Christ to die for sinners is the kind of love that believers who are Spirit-controlled manifest” (emphasis mine).

“But whoever keeps His word, in him the love of God has truly been perfected. By this we know that we are in Him: the one who says he abides in Him ought himself to walk in the same manner as He walked” (1 John 2:5-6).

This then is our foundation: what the Word says, we will do. We are commanded to love. What should this love look like? What should it not look like?