I’ve never understood it. I don’t think I ever will. It is just downright confusing! Why do girls go nuts over movie stars or singers? How can you like a man just for his face? How he acts in movies or on the stage is nothing like he is in real life. How he looks with all that make-up is nothing like what he’d look after a day of hard work. And those cute lines and compliments–he’s memorized those for the movie, but I really doubt that he uses many of them in his every-day life on the women he’s close to.
How can you admire a man when you’ve never seen how he treats his sister, how careful he is of his mom, and how much he respects his dad? How can you respect a man when you haven’t seen him hard at work or sitting in church or in the midst of a theological or moral discussion? How can you know what he’s really like when you haven’t seen him at 1a.m. bein’ a night owl or at 6a.m. getting up for work? How can you be so enamored with him when you don’t know what his personality is really like, under pressure, or when you haven’t seen him holding a baby or playing with a toddler?
There’s a lot more to a man than his face and muscles! John Wayne was the good-looking guy when my grandma was young–but she got to see him in person once, and he was drunk and rude. What a heartthrob, eh? The same could probably be said for a lot of other movie stars. They may have a great face on film, but what are they like in real life?
I admire the manly qualities of some of the characters they portray, and put them on my “list” of what I want my husband to be like. (For example, I want a guy with a humor like Bert in “Mary Poppins” and character like Eric Liddel in “Chariots of Fire”!)
But their looks? Hmph. They fade. (I hate to mention it, but ours do, too!) Besides, the beauty is in the eye of the beholder anyway! (I prefer to marry a man for what’s on the inside, not what’s on the outside–and I hope he does the same for me! If he married me for my looks, he would someday find himself married to a prune! But if he marries me for what’s inside, I pray he’ll find himself married to someone who grows more beautiful each day.)
And their muscles? They would lose them after missing a few months of working out. I’ve known a lot of guys with cool-looking muscles from the gym and a tan from hours at the beach, but try to chop wood or do manual labor and they can’t! I prefer real muscles and a hard-workin’ farmer’s tan, thanks.
You can have your movie stars if you want, but I’ll take a real live loving and breathing gentleman friend who I can laugh with and talk with, thanks!
“Women see things in a man that men aren’t able to see themselves. They know what to look for. It’s more than just facial characteristics themselves. It’s the way a man carries himself, how he behaves, the way he treats people, the way he speaks, whether his eyes have a fire of purpose in them or are vacant, how he walks–and especially how he treats women. Everything mingles together. A woman responds to the whole man, not merely his face. When I say that you are handsome, it’s everything about the man you are. And now, with all that’s happened to you since, all you’ve become, how can I not think it all the more?”-Sabina in A Rose Remembered by Michael Phillips
*applause* What a refreshing read! I feel ill when hearing girls gush about actors or other men simply because they are good-looking. Isn’t there more to love than that? I wrote the following sonnet a few years ago:
My love has turned, not my head, but my heart.
He is a man of truth, ever steadfast.
Struck by respect, I fell to Cupid’s dart.
By his integrity, I was caught fast.
Virtue is his sword, faithfulness, his shield.
Kindness and love cause his armor to gleam.
Nobly, the chivalric code he does wield.
With loyalty, he has won my esteem!
My knight is pure in both spirit and mind,
Beauty, youth, and fervor will quickly wane;
Soon no trace of them will any man find,
But truth, honor, and virtue will remain.
All men can display fervor and passion,
But strength of character marks my bastion.
So true…amen. So many women get caught up in the romance of the stars that they fail to realize that those people arent real. Those characters they play are simply characters, and that handsome face is most likely covered in 3 inches of makeup and has been treated with botox and facials.
Real men are far beyond whats on the outside, or what romantic lines they feed us. Its their hearts that count.
I think you should move on from posting to actually writing a book! God bless you for your amazing ability to drive home exactly what girls of today need to hear.
Thank you, Gretchen. This topic has been on my mind lately, and it was good to read this.
What a good reminder! Thank you for the post, Gretchen. And what a beautiful poem, Susan! Your poetry is enchanting:-)
Speaking of this post’s topic, I once had a professor who had an interesting thought: what if for one day our outward appearance was only as “beautiful” (in the world’s eyes and opinion) as our hearts were beautiful? He wondered if a lot of people would be shocked to find that some of those “pretty people” we admired and thought were so beautiful on the outside might not necesarily be on the inside. And some of those who maybe were not noticed before, suddenly looked radiant, like their hearts already did. Then we would probably see how foolish we really are at times…
So well put, Gretchen! Thank you for reminding us all of where our priorities should be.
1 Samuel 16:7…”God does not see as men see: Men look on the outside appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”
A beneficial daily reminder!
Your Sister in Christ,
Claire
AMEN Gretchen!
how interesting. my sisters were just talking about which movie stars they thought were handsome, and for some reason, I just couldn’t bring myself to think of one. I didn’t know why, until I read this post. How can I be attracted to a man I know nothing about?
It is character, a love for the Savior, and personality that spark my interest.