written in 2003
The last ten months have brought me a lot of new opportunities and experiences, most of which I’ve enjoyed tremendously. I’ve taken writing classes at college, and realized that writing is truly what I love to do best. I’ve volunteered in an office, and found that I can be hired as a secretary when I want a job. I’ve spent time at our state capitol, and realized that you can spend your life climbing the political ladder. I’ve been working long hours, pleasing those at school and work. But I’m not spending much time at home with my family, or getting much done on my priority list.
It hit me the other day that I’m glad I’m having these experiences now, before I’m married. For almost the first time, I’ve realized that I’m really glad that I’m not engaged yet, and that I have this time to pursue my interests and explore options. It sounds crazy, but it’s true—I’ve just finally realized that this is truly the time of my life to be learning what I want and love to do. I would never have had some of these opportunities if I were married already, and I might have always wondered what it would have been like. But instead I’m finding out what it’s like to work, to be in politics, to get a formal education. And I’m realizing that, simple country girl that I am, all I really want is to raise a family with a John Doe on a John Deere.
While I do enjoy helping at my office, I wouldn’t want to be working those hours if I had a husband at home. It has been interesting being involved in the political scene, but I wouldn’t want to be married to it. And I have learned some interesting things in my college classes, but I wouldn’t want to be attending college full time: I’m learning that a true education will never be shown by a diploma.
My family has many ideas and dreams for me, and I’ve had a few myself. I’ve envisioned the paycheck I’d make as an executive secretary. I’ve pictured myself as a famous author and speaker, with a prestigious husband. I’ve even thought of being married to a congressman—or at least, a refined, mannerly gentleman.
But in these last few weeks especially, I’ve realized that I don’t want to be stuck in an office all day, or live a high profile life. I don’t care about marrying a well-educated, polished man or having a speaking career. And I certainly have no ambitions for or interest in pursuing politics.
I want to have time to write to my heart’s content, sitting on the front porch of a little cabin nestled amongst rolling hills. I want to be a patriotic citizen doing my part in my hometown. I want to spend my days cooking and raising a family. I want to spend my evenings cuddled up next to my husband. I want a John Doe on a John Deere.
beautiful post Gretchen! My highest goal as well, is to devote my time to raising a wonderful family, being a full-time wife and mother, whenever I’m old enough! A good old-fashioned country boy would do for me nicely!
Very beautiful and well written, Gretchen! Isn’t it amazing how much God worked things out for you? I love reading back in my journal, seeing how God has changed me over the years, and how much his hand is at work in my life all the time!
Jane
P.S. All I want is a John Doe and a John Deere, too (Lord willing!)
A catchy motto, & nice. I am a writer also, but I have a strong suspicion that my life is going to be more of a rollercoaster. God knows. I will find out.
Meanwhile, it is indeed remarkable to see how He has put you together for exactly the life you want and are probably going to get. Every once in a while, a person just gets those revelations, doesn’t she? They make the rest of the wonderings worthwhile.
Well, I was already quite in love with my farmer when I wrote this, Sarah…
But I didn’t know whether my feelings would ever be returned, whether I would ever have my John Doe on a John Deere…
My grandparents used to have a tractor. I remember the exhilaration and the freedom of being able to drive a tractor on my grandfather’s knee. How precious that you will get to drive a tractor on Merritt’s knee!
A dream come true! 
My grandparents used to have a tractor. I remember the exhilaration and the freedom of being able to drive a tractor on my grandfather’s knee. How precious that you will get to drive a tractor on Merritt’s knee!
A dream come true! 
My grandparents used to have a tractor. I remember the exhilaration and the freedom of being able to drive a tractor on my grandfather’s knee. How precious that you will get to drive a tractor on Merritt’s knee!
A dream come true! 
Beautiful Gretchen…just beautiful.
I’m not sure if you saw my comment on Natalies post on the 24th, but I asked if you had any advice for a women in the waiting period between courting and engagement. My heart has been so anxious for the time to come that I can finally marry by beloved, but reading this post help check my heart.
Thank you for your words of encouragement. Its so wonderful to read your writings, especially since I’m just one step behind you in the seasons of my life.
God bless!
~Katie
p.s
Natatie, thats so awesome you went to Calvary! Its possible we’ve met before, but I’m sure I would have remembered!
I saw that you worked with Avant, and my church is right next to Avant ministries in KC MO. What a small world!
~Katie
It can be exciting to taste that which the world calls “success”, but then with that experience behind you, to still turn back to CHOOSE (with pride) the role of a wife and mother. What a great, fulfilling position that far surpasses any bonus the world might offer.
So often the choice to stay in the home is seen as an archaic, wifely doormat principle of the past. What a thrill is is to shock the stereotype in the joyful pursuit of a fulfilling biblical role!
I’ve even thought of being married to…a refined, mannerly gentleman.
Isn’t it wonderful that gentlemen come in all shapes and sizes? Some wear dress shirts and khakis, and some wear faded jeans and green & yellow hooded sweatshirts.
What a blessing that God chose to give you just the kind you dreamed of. 
Thank you Gretchen…I’m in your ’2003 phase’ right now, and about to graduate, so this post was a real inspiration to me. Beautifully written too!
Gretchen,
Thank you for the post!
-been thinking along the same lines lately! I want to enjoy every stage in my life, I’m currently in the stage of “I don’t want to do this for the next 20 years, but currently this is what God has called me to do and I’m learning to enjoy it. . .AND be patient, waiting on the Lord!” (If that makes sense??)
Thank you for the encouraging words! Thank you also for allowing us to comment on YLCF, I feel like “part of the group” and I enjoy seeing other’s imput, it encourages me so much!
God Bless and have a
wonderful day everyone!
HLH
Dear Gretchen,
You are in for it, dear – bliss, I mean! 
I am so excited for you, for take it from one who has been married for just over 6 months now, marrriage to the man of your dreams (especially when you have been patient and let the Lord mold those dreams) is the awesomest experience on this earth!
Great post, Gretchen!
—-
I tried linking to ylcf, but the image didn’t show up. I used the code on the Link 2 Us page. Any suggestions?
Katie,
It is a small world. I hope we can meet sometime…please keep us posted when you know your wedding date…I want to hear your whole story sometime. 
You go to Northland??
Blessings,
Natalie
P.S. if you want to talk further, just email me via the site, k? I looked for your email but couldn’t find it.
A.M., for some reason the code was messed up on that page. It’s fixed now! Thanks for letting us know.
Thanks for the post, Gretchen!
I was at that point a while back in my life too. You see, I’ve always wanted to be a hairdresser for as long as I can remember. During my early teen years, my friends would telling me what they wanted to do when they got older (i.e. doctor, lawyer, etc). What they wanted to do made me feel like what I wanted to do wasn’t really that good. I struggled with that for a while. Finally, God showed me that it doesn’t really matter what other people think about what I have chosen to do. The most important thing is to be in God’s will for your life. (One thing that I like about becoming a hairdreser is that I can save my family…present and future…a lot of money by serving them in that way.
As for the man that I marry…I don’t care what he does as long he’s a Christian and is doing what God wants him to do. (Of course, there are other specific details, but those are the main things:).)
~Allison
I’ll most definitely e-mail you Natalie!
I actually go to NewLife community church, which is right next to NorthLand. Its a small church, so you probably wouldnt hardly notice it!
I certianly will keep you posted on my wedding date. lol…Our story is…interesting. I’ll be sure to send you the details sometime soon.
God bless!
~Katie
Thanks, Gretchen, for fixing the code. It works beautiful now.
A.M.
HLH,
your words could have been my own. So I shall only say, “Ditto.”
Have a beautiful day, all. The sun is shining, the semester is almost finished, and God is so faithful. 
LM
Wow, Gretchen. That could have been me writing that! I totally agree with you – I want a John Doe on a John Deere!
Thanks for your ministry, and many blessings upon your new life with Merritt!