It’s one thing to keep from being the proverbial woman who goes grocery shopping in her sweats. But is it any less frumpy to look comfy all day at home?
Right now I’m living with my family. They aren’t quite as much fun to dress up for as a husband will be. And it probably doesn’t matter near as much to them.
But I don’t want to let myself slip into the habit of looking comfy all day.
Someday soon I hope to have a husband who cares how I look when he comes home. Will I appear cute and perky or will it look like I forgot to get dressed?
I realized that when the comfy clothes I wear all day are nearly the same ones I slept in, there’s a problem. (And God forbid that a married lady make a habit of sleeping in such things. But that’s another post, which I am not qualified to write.)
As much as I love comfy fleeces and cozy pants, they don’t always lend a stylish look. I’ll grant that sweat pants have come a long ways in the past few years, and Old Navy sells the cutest flannel pajama pants ever. But even the most adorable of pj’s will get old if you wear them all day.
When I was going to work every day, I made a conscious effort to dress in a stylish, professional fashion to appear in the state capitol offices.
But who matters more–my co-workers, or my family?
I won’t begin wearing heels and hose here at home. But neither will I get stuck in the rut of thinking I don’t have to dress up because I have no place to go.
For the truth is, sometimes comfy is almost as bad as frumpy!
15 Comments
Very good post!
Gretchen, I loved your post on not being frumpy! It reminds me of something Shannon Harris wrote: that there’s a big difference between dressing attractively and dressing to attract.
Now I’ve never been one to care much about fashion trends, especially since I became a Christian. But since I married (a whole four months ago!) I have found myself more aware of how I present myself. I want to look good for him. So while I may wear sweats for my daily household chores, I will change my clothes and freshen up when I’m expecting him home. It’s a courtesy, and helps me to prepare mentally and emotionally as well. The same with God – He doesn’t care what clothes I wear, but as He has blessed me with relative wealth, I can show my gratitude by trying to look smart for our special meeting together each week (church!).
But I must stress that as Christians, I feel that we should NOT be obsessed with our looks. Our beauty is within; we should be clothed with good deeds. It’s an amazing privilege that we don’t need fancy clothes, makeup or fine jewellry, and I’m blessed with a husband who frequently tells me I’m beautiful just as I am. We can honour God by taking care of the temple of the Holy Spirit, our bodies, but we also need to stand out from the world in what things we value. This was brought home to me recently: the outfit of mine that my husband likes the most came from a thrift store! The whole thing! So now I can be a delight to my husband’s eyes, and still have money left over for more important things! Amen?
I have had wonderful examples of what you’re talking about Gretchen…all my life I’ve watched my mother and her friends show such respect to their husbands. I know one mother of four teenagers who showers every afternoon right before her husband comes home and puts on a pretty, fresh dress. She is a beautiful woman, but I believe it’s that godly deference that makes her even more lovely. And her husband is completely delighted with her!
, and prepare my home and myself for the best part of the day. My husband’s homecoming! 
They really do feel honored when our behaviour shows them that it’s an honor to be their wife…
I’ve tried to keep these examples in mind the last six years…I get into all kinds of things in a day, but around 5:00 I try to start winding down–put on a cute outfit, powder my nose
Lanier
It’s great to have response from married ladies on this!
I have the greatest respect for women who make a conscious effort to be pleasing to their husband in everything.
And oh yes, Liz, I am all about GoodWill! When the girls are commenting on where they got this cute outfit on sale, etc. my man will touch my sleeve and ask with a twinkle in his eye, “GoodWill?” And he’s almost always right.
However, GoodWill sells frumpy clothes, too–sometimes you have to search to find the timeless, cute stuff. And I think it’s much nicer to just shop with him and find out exactly what he likes before I buy it.
I have the opposite problem. The first year of my marriage I worked wo hard to look nice. I wore nice clothes and make-up and curled my hair or straightened it everyday. I also wore silk night gowns to bed and was always clean, clean, clean.
However, I asked my husband if he cared what I was wearing and looking like. He smiled at me and said, “Zan, I would rather you be comfortable than try to look nice for me.” I felt so stupid because I had worked so hard to look nice all the time. I am greatful to my husband for not caring what I look like. It sure makes getting dressed a whole lot easier. However, I do make an effort to try to look nicer when he comes home from work.
Also, it is very hard to look nice when you have severe morning sickness. I am VERY pregnant right now and am living in comfy clothes. I cannot wait until I can put on some nice clothes again and have a waist again. I actually dreamed about it last night.
I strongly agree with Lanier and Liz… it is so important to care for our husbands by looking lovely for them! A friend once shared with me something she read which stated something to the extent of, “when a husband comes home, he should know he is coming home to the most beautiful sight he will have seen all day.”
, and done at least something with my hair. And my husband still thinks and tells me that I am beautiful to him. 
But yes, I also have those dreams (literally!) of actually fitting into regular clothes again, lol!!
I do have to laugh with Zan! As someone who is also due to have a baby any day, I must confess that some days I end up in “comfy clothes”–jeans and a big t-shirt–but only after I’ve showered, put on a little makeup
I think I agree with you in principle. I wouldn’t want to lounge around the house in anything that I would be embarrassed to be wearing if I had to, say, open the door for the UPS man. But at the same time, I don’t have a hubby, nor is one looming on the imminent horizon.
I think of my sweatpants as one of the many benefits of singlehood.
I agree very much, Gretchen- all though on occasion I break my rule and wear those comfy, slightly ugly pair of jeans when no one is looking;-)
so true!!!!!!!!
I felt I should add, in defense of my earlier statement, that when one is living out of boxes because there is nowhere in a very crowded house to put her clothes, it makes it somewhat harder to dress beautifully all the time.
Dear Gretchen,
While the off topic of your post (to some degree)I have yet to say an official and grand congatulations on the advent of your engagement (isn’t it amazing how you never get sick of hearing it!).
You and your man look like a very handsome couple!! *smile*
I also appreciated your most recent post – and let me say I agree!! I love trying to look my best and loveliest for my man. I want Cory to know I respect him enough to want to look pretty and fresh for him. Mind you, I have found that no matter what I wear, a cheerful countenance and attitude really make a big difference!
Love your sister in Christ
- Vanessa Sugar
I completely agree with you, Gretchen.
And while I try to look nice all day (even if no one sees me!), I always freshen up a bit before my husband wallks through the door… brush my hair, and put his favorite scent on. 
Thank you SO much for the post!!!
I have always thought that dressing up a little more for our husbands was a good idea. . .but I didn’t know if there was anybody else out there that thought that way too. . .I see there’s quite a few of us.
Sometimes I wonder, why would we dress up more when we’re courting and than when we get married we don’t care as much about how we look when he’s around? (I almost think it’s MORE important once we’re married, than before we’re married, to look our best for our husbands.)
Good post!!! Thank you for taking the time to write posts for all of us!
Gretchen, I thought I was the only one out there that thought this way! The comments of everyone, but especially those of the married women, have been such a blessing and encouragement to me! Thank you for your hard work and dedication to YLCF!
I too, feel the same way.
There are some comfy and stylish clothes out there, though. I have seen so many classy sweatsuits or loungesuits.