Waiting for THE Cute Guy

I’ve always liked guys. I never went through the “boys have cooties” stage. My guy cousins were my heroes and the boys at church were always good-looking. But until I was about fifteen, I was steadfast about one point: boys are not cute. Babies were cute, and boys didn’t fit that bill! I rolled my eyes at the slumber party discussions of this cute boy or that—boys might be handsome, but never cute. I was positive on this point.

Then I met a guy who was really good-looking. And I discovered that “cute” was a good way to describe guys without sounding quite as serious. But I was still scared stiff about actually talking to guys. I knew I didn’t want to flirt, so my solution was to not talk to guys at all—in fact, I often turned my back when I saw them coming! Needless to say, I didn’t get asked on any dates during Junior High.

But, I did meet a lot of cute guys in the next few years. And when I actually started talking to them, I learned that guys make great friends. But I also discovered that “friends” quickly leads to something more, and that’s where the danger zone is.

The summer before I turned thirteen I read the romantic story of Eric and Leslie Ludy’s courtship. They had each committed to waiting for God to lead them to their future spouse. Then they met, became close friends, and realized they were growing to love each other. With her father’s permission, Eric won Leslie’s heart. They had a very romantic courtship and the book ended as they kissed—for the very first time—on their wedding day.

Growing up I’d never been able to picture myself on a first date. The idea seemed weird—and scary! And besides, I was a complete romantic. I’d been reading Anne of Green Gables since I was in second grade, and there was no strange first date in Anne’s life: only a beautiful story of friends falling in love. So when I read Eric and Leslie’s beautiful, romantic story of a “romance God’s way,” when I read about the blessings they experienced waiting on God’s choice and timing, I was convinced. I purposed then and there that since I wanted a romantic love story, I would “give God the pen” of my life. I would let the Lord choose my husband and write a beautiful love story for us. I also committed to saving my heart, my emotions, and my very first kiss for my husband.

It went great for about two months. Then there I was, age thirteen, “waiting not dating,” when cute guys started appearing in my life, messing up all my plans of waiting patiently for my husband! That was when I had to ask myself again: why do I believe in waiting instead of dating?

I had always thought something seemed wrong with the vicious cycle of dating and breaking up, dating and breaking up again, that went on in the church youth group. Because those were real hearts getting broken. But I watched as time and again a girl would just let another guy break her heart the next time around! Eventually I realized that this cycle of going out and then breaking up when boredom or hardship hit was nothing less than preparation for divorce. Too many adults were doing the same thing as dating and breaking up, except they got married and then divorced when money was tight, they had trouble getting along, or they were interested in someone else. I knew I didn’t want to be practicing for divorce; I wanted to be practicing for a lifelong, committed marriage.

Reading romantic, godly love stories of couples like Eric and Leslie Ludy and Jeff and Danielle Myers gave me a vision of what it would be like to marry your first love. They spoke of saving not only the virginity of your body for your future husband, but the virginity of your heart and mind as well. They told of the pain caused by broken relationships, and how the memories of past infatuations can damage a future marriage. They related the fun of developing friendships with guys, the joy of keeping your heart pure, and the ecstasy of sharing your first kiss with the one you’re going to kiss for the rest of your life.

And then I read the most poignant question of all: how would I want my future husband to be acting right now? Would I want him to be getting a crush on each cute girl he meets? Would I want him to be spending hours at a slumber party talking to his friends about some girl other than me? Would I want him holding another girl’s hand or writing love notes to her instead of to me, his future wife? Would I want him kissing her, and not waiting for me?

The answer was obvious: of course not!

But the thing was, he wouldn’t want me doing any of those things, either.

He would want me to be waiting for him.